From a post on WM, does your SO take off work when you're sick?

JOEBunny

There is a post on working moms that pretty much qualifies as ignorant BS, but it made me wonder. 

Does your DH take off when you are sick?

Mine never does, and I would not ask him to.  When I had to have spinal injections last year, I could not be alone with the kids, so I hired a lady to come in for the day.  DH dropped me off at the hospital and a friend picked me up, and I went home and the lady stayed with the children.  It worked out fine.  I have been really sick quite a few times and it sucks, but we just live through it.  Nothing like vomiting while strapping to kids into the car at the doctors office parking lot to make you appreciate good health :-)

Just wonder what other families do.

laney75

To this point (almost 3 years of being home), no he has not.  I think if I were definitely ill, as in unable to physically get out of bed, he would.  Otherwise, it's all me.  Sucks sometimes, but it is what it is.

almostjennifer

Nope.  Even when I was miscarrying, I didn't ask him to stay home from work.  It's the worst part of the SAH gig, IMO, but it is what it is.

Stacyc625

I have been sick 1x in three years.

That being said- I was vomiting so bad I passed out (right after Easter)- I called DH at work for 40 minutes- (he went into a meeting and left his blackberry in his office).

I had to call his admin to interrupt the meeting. When I finally got a hold of him it was 430pm anyway-

I seriously thought I was going to die. No joke. Only time I have EVER called him to interrupt a meeting. 

DH didn't think anything of it- ESPECIALLY considering he caught what I had the next day and wanted to die himself. He said he doesn't know how I survived watching the 2 kids (for the 40 min to get ahold of him and the 45 min it took him to drive home) and puking and diahrrea.  It took him 4 days to recover from what I had. I didnt' have that luxury obviously- he was back to work the next day (and came home early because he felt sick)

meglew

In the last 3 years, I have been seriously ill only a couple of times.  One of the times we ALL had it, so we suffered together.  I did have surgery though and my MIL watched DD (it wasn't super serious).  If I needed him to, he would take time time off or make it work.  He asked if I wanted him too, but my MIL lives really close and stays home, so she was more than happy to help out.  My DH has a little flexibility though b/c he has a company issued laptop that he can remote into work and get things done at home if need be.

nekorayne

Nope, he has offered but I say no. I was really sick and throwing up, he offered to stay home and I said he should go to work. I figure he should save sick days incase he gets it. It is just a part of the gig IMO

ToBeMrsT

Yes he takes off if I'm terribly sick and can't care for the kids.  If I have a cold or fever then no he doesn't, but if I'm throwing up and can't function then yes. 

He also takes off if I have appointments (dr, dentist). 

The_Jen626

Well I've only been SAH for about 2 weeks now, so my answer is hypothetical.  However, NO, my DH can't take off work when I'm sick.  He can't even take off work when HE is really sick.  He does a job where he has to be there, no matter what.  He had to go to the ER last year and we got home at 4am, and he went into work at Noon as scheduled.  It sucks, but it is what it is.

However, we are lucky that we have a lot of family around that are willing to help out at the drop of a hat, and my prior daycare provider is more than willing to take DD if I'm sick.

I can't imagine being really sick and taking care of DD all day... that's crazy talk.  I'd rather hire a babysitter at $100 an hour, honestly.

broomy

My husband has stayed home with me twice since I became a SAHM. Both were because of migraines. I sometimes get really, really bad migraines that are completely crippling, and I didn't have anyone else to stay with me/take care of DS. Luckily, though, he is able to work from home when he needs to and could still get work done while DS napped or played independently, etc.

erstwhile+maven

Only once.  DS and I were sick a lot this year, on the two other days I really needed help I called in for a babysitter and my MIL.  Even with help it sure is harder to be sick than it was pre-kid. 

memali26

Nope. DH is a teacher, and taking time off, prepping for and finding a sub, etc., are a huge PITA. If he can arrange for it all far in advance (surgeries and what not) he will take off. But for times like this fall when I had the flu, not a chance. I just stocked the living room with everything we needed and lay on the floor with DD all day.

MAprincess

He hasn't needed to yet, but he would if I really, really needed him.  I have been sick but not so much that I couldn't schlep through the day on my own.

 I saw that post- I liked the woman who said that she could nap with the baby and have days of sitting on the couch with coloring books.  Not in this house!  I have actually been on both sides also and it was much easier for me working outside the house rather than SAH.  What was hard to me was missing the time with the LOs.  But to each her own, obviously.

Rebekah1021

Nope. I honestly would rather him there than at home. He would start projects or something and not be any help to me. That is just how he is.

On the rare occasion I have been super sick, he has taken DD to my mom's for the day and then picked her up on his way home from work.

bigmammaB

As a rule NO.....but 2 weeks ago I woke up with food poisoning and my 8 yr old had to care for the 13 mo old until he could get home and I ended up having to go to the ER.

That was a more extreme scenario but I still needed/expected him to come home.....but I also NEVER ask him to come or stay home unless its an emergency.

Stacyc625

The coloring books and TV would buy me MAYBE 20-30 min tops in this house.

naturelle25

When Owen was still really really little, I got a killer migraine (like seeing spots, throwing up, couldnt function). It was awful, so I got up super early and went to urgent care where they gave me meds. It took a couple hours for them to kick in, so DH went in to work a little late and I dont see how I could have cared for the kids by myself at that point. I would never ask him to stay home if I wasnt completely incapacitated.

GingerSB

If I am too sick to care for the kids then he'd have to. Or I'd have to find alternate care. Otherwise, no.

passar3588

No, but I've never been sick enough to justify him staying home. I've never had the flu or a stomach virus since I've had kids. I've really only had colds and a couple of sinus infections which didn't require me bedridden. I don't think I've even had a fever in the past 5 years.

 I'm sure if I were really sick, he would take off of work or at least take off most of the day. He works from home, so unless he had an appointment or a conference call, he could help out most of the day.

ali-1411

I must be lucky because DD will totally hang out and watch tv with me all day when I'm sick.  She'll go off and play for a bit but she comes back to check with me.  She's 2.5

DH took off work once last summer.  He had been sick with a stomach flu then I caught it the next day.  I had a fever and was throwing up so he took a vacation day to stay with the kids. 

Dochas

MAprincess:

 I saw that post- I liked the woman who said that she could nap with the baby and have days of sitting on the couch with coloring books.  Not in this house!  I have actually been on both sides also and it was much easier for me working outside the house rather than SAH.  What was hard to me was missing the time with the LOs.  But to each her own, obviously.

This post was hilarious.  And I loved the attitude of just have their husbands stay home because that's what sick days are for.  I do agree with that but they are constantly posting over there that there's nothing you can do about sending your sick child to daycare since they can't take time off work!

I haven't been sick yet but I would ask him to stay home if I felt I couldn't take care of him all day and he wouldn't have a problem doing it.  

Mrs.Hizzo

It's not an option, unless it's a true emergency. He doesn't get sick days. If he has to leave work or not go in, it means that the office has to scramble to find someone else to cover his cases, they don't just cancel the surgeries.

The one time I asked him to come home was when I was 36 weeks pregnant, slipped in the shower and fractured my tibia. Fortunately, my mom was able to come right away to watch Finn and help me get dressed, but it was an hour before DH was able to get here to take me to the ER (I couldn't drive).

Cherryblossoms07

The only time my DH has taken off from work because I was sick was because he took me to the emergency room due to dehydration related to a bad stomach virus.  I could not ask him to stay home, unless I absolutely could not care for DD.  DH has way too many obligations at work to stay at home for a minor illness.  Plus, he risks getting sick himself and having to take even more time off if he stays at home. 

I wish I had family or close friends around to help out while sick though.  I agree that there is nothing worse than taking care of kids when you yourself is vomiting.   

myantonia

We've had a couple different scenarios here.  

Once I was throwing up from 3am on and had no sleep and could barely lift my head off the pillow without wanting to puke.  DH took DS to a friend's house for the morning while he had some meetings he had to go to, picked him up, put him down for his nap, and worked from home during the afternoon.  It was wonderful that I didn't have to worry about entertaining DS... even laying on the couch eating bonbons while DS colored would have been hard that day.

 

Other times, if I've been sick over the weekend and we have some "warning" I've been able to call my mom and have her come for the day or two (she lives 2.5 hours away, so it takes some planning).  But again, this is only if I'm not functioning. Colds, fevers, coughs, headaches, I'm sucking it up.

 

 

 

MainelyFoolish

Yes, he does if I'm really sick.  DH's employer has a family-friendly sick leave policy (he can use his sick leave to take off if a family member is sick) and he has hundreds of hours of sick leave accumulated.  He gets to take time off from his job when he is sick, I don't see why I shouldn't be accorded the same treatment as long as it doesn't impact his job.

Liz342

I definitely would make him if I was really sick.  I honestly can't remember if I ever have had him do it though.  It's pretty rare that I am really sick and he wouldn't stay home unless I was really under the weather.  But he definitely would if I told him I absolutely needed someone home with me.

cjsbdl

He never had because if I need help with the kids my MIL can always come stay with me. But he would if I needed him to--not for a cold or anything, but if I had a stomach bug or something and MIL wasn't available I can't imagine him leaving me to fend for myself with the kids. But my husband has a fairly flexible job.

MrsBalletStar05

He never has.  I don't think he would unless it was something completely awful. 

emathis2

He probably would stay home but I usually rely on MIL in those cases.  MIL will watch DS at her house so I can be home to get better.  Then I have a quiet house and DH can get his work done. 

mabma80

Nope.  Cause if he was home I would not get any rest.  Partly because he would keep coming in to ask where this was, or what to do with that, etc.  It would be chaos.

It's never happened where I get that sick that I can't function in some shape or form.  I can deal with it, plus I rarely ever get sick.  DH on the other hand is a big baby when it comes just to the common cold!   

spiritenergy

No. He has never stayed home when I am sick. I just push through it.

wifeofaussie

My DH doesn't and I wouldn't ask him to unless I was seriously ill (like hospital ill).  He lives across the country most of the week while he's on duty so I wouldn't ask him to come back for something like the flu.  He helps if I'm sick on one of his days off but I have family locally so if I'm too sick to care for DD, I just call one of them for help.

pepomntpat

Nope. So far I have been on my own. However, I think if it were something more major like surgery he would. The flu/stomach bugs/etc I just deal as best I can.

Andrewsgal

This post makes me sad. Yes he would and has when I had food poisoning, I could not even move so he took care of the kids. Doesn't everyone get vacation or sick days? Hell DH has stayed home before just to be home and spend some time with us if he had to work extra hours the week before. Also I will never understand those who say that their DH staying home would be more work because he basically can't take care of the kids by himself, do you not ever leave your kids with your DH? A Dad should be able to take care of his children!

prism207

He has.  I had a gallbladder attack about 2 years ago in the middle of the night and we ended up in the ER around 5 am.  He stayed home that day and took care of Sam-even went to his playdate.  I was on narcotic painkillers while waiting for surgery and obviously couldn't take care of Sam myself.

He'll try to work from home or come home early if he can if I'm really ill, like when I had Strep Throat last fall.  Unfortunately he had just started a new job that day so that was pretty difficult.  Now though?  So many of their meetings are over Skype anyway, he can be anywhere working much of the time.  And his boss is a Widower of only a year with two small kids himself, so he's very understanding about family time needs.

eaglesfan700

H will rely on me to tell him I need him to stay home. The only time I needed him to stay home was when I was pg with DD (DS was 10 months old) and I caught the noro virus.  I was puking all day and could not function

If I am sick with a cold/fever or whatever, I wouldn't ask him to stay home.  He will make an effort to get home earlier to help me out

EnglishMajor03

Andrewsgal:

This post makes me sad. Yes he would and has when I had food poisoning, I could not even move so he took care of the kids. Doesn't everyone get vacation or sick days? Hell DH has stayed home before just to be home and spend some time with us if he had to work extra hours the week before. Also I will never understand those who say that their DH staying home would be more work because he basically can't take care of the kids by himself, do you not ever leave your kids with your DH? A Dad should be able to take care of his children!

For once we agree!  Though, I know there are instances where H's can't take sick time...I think they're mostly medical staff...and lawyers who need to be in court...that's what I've read. 

HarrietNJMommy

Yes, he does if I'm really sick. 

Que*Syrah

I have only been sick once so far (knock on wood) but he did take one day off. I suspect though that he just needed a mental health day The other days my parents came over and watched DS and put him to bed for me (DH leaves for work at 3pm).

bellablue2

He would definetly take the day off if I was very sick. Not just for a little cold, but if I was seriously ill, or throwing up every five minutes then he would. He is in a work field where it is fairly easy for him to do so.

Alexandra*sMom

Never.  I did have Grandma take the girls when I was PG and had the stomach flu once.  DH took off when I had a m/c 2 years ago.

Daisy77

Well, we run our own business so he has a little more leeway than others.  If he can take the kids with him, he will (to get them out of the house and away from a sick me!).  If he can't take them, he will find someone else who can for the day.  That being said, I have only been that sick (as in could only get out of bed to make it to the bathroom) once in the last 7-8 years :::knock on wood:::  Otherwise I tough it out...last month I got my a** handed to me by a sinus infection, then he'd take care of the kids at night so I could crash early.