September 2011 Moms
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A strange conversation

I normally live and let live, but I just had the oddest conversation with a woman in my office. She was visibly pregnant, but I didn't say anything to her until she first asked me when I am due. I told her and then asked her when she is due and she told me that she hasn't been to the doctor to find out yet. She said that she would see a doctor later. This is her first. She told me that she is already feeling the baby too. I just can't get it out of my head why she wouldn't want to see a medical professional of some sort and at least find out if she and baby are healthy and when the baby is due. Is that odd or is it just me?
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Re: A strange conversation

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    No, I agree those people are strange and selfish. My friends cousin didn't go the entire time she was pregnant. She didn't have insurance and figured her other kids turned out okay so she didn't see a doctor once and just showed up at a hospital to deliver her baby when she was in laborIndifferentAnd now she is pregnant again and doing the same thing. Selfish Selfish...
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    No, it's not just you. I am giving that woman the side eye right now as well.
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    No, it's odd. I mean really really REALLY odd.. Not to mention not healthy for her or the baby. If she hasn't seen a doctor I doubt she's taking prenatls or done any other care. She needs to make sure her and baby are doing well.. Plus, this is my 2nd and I was even more exicted about it b/c I knew what to expect.  Makes me question what kind of mother she'll be.  Sad really..
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    imageamandaloren:
    No, I agree those people are strange and selfish. My friends cousin didn't go the entire time she was pregnant. She didn't have insurance and figured her other kids turned out okay so she didn't see a doctor once and just showed up at a hospital to deliver her baby when she was in laborIndifferentAnd now she is pregnant again and doing the same thing. Selfish Selfish...

    omg, seriously? I can only imagine what the l&d nurses, etc. said or thought when she told them she didn't have a doctor!

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    AzraylaAzrayla member
    It is unusual.. my mom didn't see a dr with my brother till she was 5 months but she didn't have insurance or something and had to get medicaid.. my aunt hadn't seen a dr recently for 16 weeks.. she's due in august so from week 8 to 24 she had no dr spots and she's high risk.. (she said that's why no one would see her.. yeah bs) some people are...eh.
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    Does your office provide insurance? If not, this might not really be a choice for her.

    If they do provide insurance and she's in on it, that's just stupid and crazy.

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    Ummm say what???

    There are so many services out there for pregnant women and children, I kind of wonder what her thought process is in not seeking out prenatal care.

    bumping from my phone. please pardon any typos and missing punctuation
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    What? That's nuts!
    ~ Josh & Jill, married 5/2/09 ~
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    I give the side eye after being slightly hypocritical. When I was pregnant with DS#1 I didn't know that I was pregnant until I was around 4 1/2 months. I had a very irregular menstrual cycle, cramps, the whole bit and I had no idea until I came down with the "flu" aka m/s and thought I was dying and DH (who was BF) at the time questioned pregnancy. We quickly got a test, tested positive and started seeing a doc that following week. I had no intentions on not seeing a doctor but after I got the BFP I could feel the baby, I mean I was like 114 and skin and bones. Since then, I've always had a doctor for my pregnancies and am glad!! Embarrassed Please don't flamejudge me for the past...I am a good Mom!!
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    imageLaComtesse:

    Does your office provide insurance? If not, this might not really be a choice for her.

    If they do provide insurance and she's in on it, that's just stupid and crazy.

    She does not work here, but she was carrying a very expensive leather Chanel purse and had beautiful jewelery on.

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    I find that very odd. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I didn't have insurance, but I still went to the dr.  I had numerous people telling me to wait until I had insurance. 
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    imagekodonnell_mcc:
    imageLaComtesse:

    Does your office provide insurance? If not, this might not really be a choice for her.

    If they do provide insurance and she's in on it, that's just stupid and crazy.

    She does not work here, but she was carrying a very expensive leather Chanel purse and had beautiful jewelery on.

    That doesn't mean she has insurance, though. Those could have been gifts or knock-offs. You really never know...

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    I would think even if she doesn't have insurance she could go to a crisis preganancy center (even if this isn't exactly a crisis) and they could at least give her an u/s and some support for little to no cost. I'm not sure why you wouldn't go to at least a regular doc.
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    imageJaninneAlvarado:
    I give the side eye after being slightly hypocritical. When I was pregnant with DS#1 I didn't know that I was pregnant until I was around 4 1/2 months. I had a very irregular menstrual cycle, cramps, the whole bit and I had no idea until I came down with the "flu" aka m/s and thought I was dying and DH (who was BF) at the time questioned pregnancy. We quickly got a test, tested positive and started seeing a doc that following week. I had no intentions on not seeing a doctor but after I got the BFP I could feel the baby, I mean I was like 114 and skin and bones. Since then, I've always had a doctor for my pregnancies and am glad!! Embarrassed Please don't flamejudge me for the past...I am a good Mom!!

    Totally different because you had no idea you were pregnant- you didn't purposely not see a doctor, you set up an appt as soon as you knew. I know someone else this happened to, you're not alone :)

    I think it's irresponsible not to have prenatal care, but I do understand that not having insurance would scare someone away from it. But, like PP said, there are resources to help women in those situations and I would hope someone could point an insurance-less mom to be in that direction. 

    Mama to two sweet girls
    DD1 Feb 2010
    DD2 Sept 2011


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    I think it's pretty irresponsible to get KU if you don't have insurance or some other way to pay for proper prenatal care, so I'm judging either way. 
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    imagemarriedfilingjointly:
    I think it's pretty irresponsible to get KU if you don't have insurance or some other way to pay for proper prenatal care, so I'm judging either way. 

    People get pregnant while using condoms, on the pill, or when raped. And just because one believes in abortion doesn't mean one can easily access one (particularly with the latest rash of anti-choice legislation popping up in a number of states, such as South Dakota).

    Look, I'm not saying my hypothetical scenario is correct. She could be an airheaded, stupid woman who is needless toying with her health and her baby's. But one thing we do know is that we really don't know her situation, so I think the judgment can be reserved for other cases when we have all the information and can sit up on our happy little cloud of disapproval :-)

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    imagemarriedfilingjointly:
    I think it's pretty irresponsible to get KU if you don't have insurance or some other way to pay for proper prenatal care, so I'm judging either way. 

    In other news: from your siggy, I can see we have the same comforter, so you have good taste :-)

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    It's weird that she asked you first, because the conversation automatically goes back to her own pregnancy.  Like she wanted you to know that she wasn't receiving medical care.  I know for some women pregnancy is not viewed as a "medical condition" and chose not to get medical care unless necessary, but usually still have a support person and see a midwife or something.  I would think they would be even more connected with the stages of their pregnancies.  (And not to stereotype, but usually these women would more likely be in Birkenstocks and hemp than fancy purse and big jewels!).  I know an Amish lady, and even she knows when she's due, and doubt she's seen a traditional Dr (it's her 8th baby).

    Maybe she wasn't really pregnant.  But that was the best response she could come up with.  Maybe she just has an unfortunately shaped tummy.  Time for some spanx!

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    imageKatywren:

    It's weird that she asked you first, because the conversation automatically goes back to her own pregnancy.  Like she wanted you to know that she wasn't receiving medical care.  I know for some women pregnancy is not viewed as a "medical condition" and chose not to get medical care unless necessary, but usually still have a support person and see a midwife or something.  I would think they would be even more connected with the stages of their pregnancies.  (And not to stereotype, but usually these women would more likely be in Birkenstocks and hemp than fancy purse and big jewels!).  I know an Amish lady, and even she knows when she's due, and doubt she's seen a traditional Dr (it's her 8th baby).

    Maybe she wasn't really pregnant.  But that was the best response she could come up with.  Maybe she just has an unfortunately shaped tummy.  Time for some spanx!

     Ha! Ha! No, she was a skinny thing. She was rubbing her belly and very proud of it. Unfortunately, because of the nature of her business in my office I know that she and her husband are well off. I think that you may be right when you say that some people don't view it as a medical issue. She seemed to talk about it like it was perfectly normal.

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    imagekodonnell_mcc:
    imageKatywren:

    It's weird that she asked you first, because the conversation automatically goes back to her own pregnancy.  Like she wanted you to know that she wasn't receiving medical care.  I know for some women pregnancy is not viewed as a "medical condition" and chose not to get medical care unless necessary, but usually still have a support person and see a midwife or something.  I would think they would be even more connected with the stages of their pregnancies.  (And not to stereotype, but usually these women would more likely be in Birkenstocks and hemp than fancy purse and big jewels!).  I know an Amish lady, and even she knows when she's due, and doubt she's seen a traditional Dr (it's her 8th baby).

    Maybe she wasn't really pregnant.  But that was the best response she could come up with.  Maybe she just has an unfortunately shaped tummy.  Time for some spanx!

     Ha! Ha! No, she was a skinny thing. She was rubbing her belly and very proud of it. Unfortunately, because of the nature of her business in my office I know that she and her husband are well off. I think that you may be right when you say that some people don't view it as a medical issue. She seemed to talk about it like it was perfectly normal.

    Okay then that's just dumb. Lame. I'm climbing up on the happy judgment cloud with the rest of you! 

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    weird Indifferent
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    I get the insurance thing and how that could be really hard for some people- but if she is well off, I really don't get it??? If you don't want a doctor at least see a midwife- very very strange.
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    That's so ridiculous. I'm without insurance now that DH is laid off and I've found at least 6 different organizations that will provide prenatal care for women without insurance. Between health clinics and Medicaid and everything else, why wouldn't you get the care your baby needs?!
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    imageLaComtesse:

    imagemarriedfilingjointly:
    I think it's pretty irresponsible to get KU if you don't have insurance or some other way to pay for proper prenatal care, so I'm judging either way. 

    People get pregnant while using condoms, on the pill, or when raped. And just because one believes in abortion doesn't mean one can easily access one (particularly with the latest rash of anti-choice legislation popping up in a number of states, such as South Dakota).

    Look, I'm not saying my hypothetical scenario is correct. She could be an airheaded, stupid woman who is needless toying with her health and her baby's. But one thing we do know is that we really don't know her situation, so I think the judgment can be reserved for other cases when we have all the information and can sit up on our happy little cloud of disapproval :-)

    True, true.  But I think legitimate accidents not resulting from straight-up negligence are in the very small minority.  And I'm a judgy biitch in general, admittedly.

    Isn't that comforter the greatest?  Now if I could only keep my furry beasts off of it.  But they like it so much . . .  If you have it in brown, I imagine Pigeon does a number on it, huh?  I keep a sheet over mine so that the pets don't get it too hairy. 

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