Babies: 0 - 3 Months

FF= A happy Mommy :-) (long)

The past three months have been hell trying to breastfeed DS.  We've had supply issues (over & under supply), a bad case of thrush that kept coming back, sore nipples, fussiness at the breast, bad latch (which probably contributed to sore nipples), clogged milk ducts, forceful letdown, seriously lopsided ta tas. . .ugh, the list could probably go on.  I tried and tried and TRIED to continue breastfeeding since I knew it was what was "best" for DS, but in the meantime, I was suffering.  I played with the thought of quitting for weeks, but just couldn't bring myself to do it since, let's be honest, when you're looking at breastfeeding support websites, they all make formula seem like the devil.  That it's sooooo bad for your child and you should only use it as a last resort.  And I bought it.  I know, it's terrible.  But I just couldn't do it anymore.  I had to get away from nursing because I didn't like how it made me feel towards DS.  I felt like I was being a bad mother because I resented feeding DS.  Not really resenting him, but the situations.  We'd been supplementing formula here and there, but I decided it was time to make the switch.  I cried and cried and cried for hours about quitting and I'm not even sure why.  It's funny, looking back on it I wonder why I was so upset.  I hated it!  I guess I felt horrible because of all the mother's that had no choice in the matter.  You know, the ones that wanted to nurse so bad but just couldn't do it.  My good friend was one of them.  So I felt guilty because though I technically could still nurse him, I just didn't want to anymore.  But I finally realized that if I wasn't going to be happy, then DS wasn't going to be happy either.  It was a chore feeding him, and it should never be that way.  So I've switched.  Not completely, I still pump here and there which is fine, but he's getting mostly formula.  And I feel great.  I just watched him eat and I felt so amazing.  Night and day.  I sorta wished I'd have quit sooner.  I don't know why I'm telling you all this, but I just had to share.  I struggled for so long that for me to finally be happy about this is a big deal and I just felt the need to tell everyone.  Big Smile

Re: FF= A happy Mommy :-) (long)

  • It sure is nice, isn't it? What you said about BF websites scares me! I don't want to even know what they have to say about formula. :)

    Glad you are doing what is right for you.

  • Good for you! 

    A happy mommy = a happy baby. :)

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  • You made the right choice =) I know what you mean about formula being made out to be so terrible. I once read a book that actually said there is absolutely no reason for a baby to be formula fed - that most of the problems are all in your mind. I can't believe people actually think that.
  • I'm glad you found a solution that worked for you.  Try not to feel guilty, you are doing what is best for you and your DS and no one can tell you otherwise.
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    Big sister {September 2008} Sweet boy {April 2011} Fuzzy Bundle {ETA July 2014}

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  • A happy mom is the best kind!  :)  I've been struggling with BFing so much and I used to get really upset over the fact that I had to supplement with so much formula, but now I have no idea why I was so sad about it too.  I'm trying to keep BFing to save a little bit of $, but if I have to totally make the switch I am ok with it now.  I think it is great that you are happy with your decision and I am sure DS loves his happy mom too!
  • Glad you are getting some relief! BF isn't for everyone. I hate that FF is so poo-pooed among moms. Nobody should feel inferior for feeding her child the way that works for her!

     

  • Good for you for at least trying and then for knowing and accepting what is best for you and baby. ?I'm struggling with the same decision right now.
  • I am so on the fence about quitting. The pumping is taking over my life and I am not enjoying it. Its nice to read someone who is feeling the same as I am.

    Congrats on your decision!?

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  • I felt the same way! Quitting BF'ing was hard enough as it was, I'm GLAD I never visited the pro-BF websites!!

    Happy Mommy = Happy Baby is right!

    =D

  • im so glad that you feel better. i was struggling with BFing as well, and have switched to EPing... not too much better, but at least i am not frustrated with feeding any longer. i agree, that sometimes it is a hard choice, but you have to do what makes you happy. :)

  • Good for you! The first month was like that for me and I kept thinking, if this keeps up, I'm quitting. I'm so glad we got through it, but if we hadn't I'd be right there with you. I HATED BFing at first... it was painful, frustrating, and meant I was strapped to DD all the time.
  • If your baby is eating and is healthy/thriving... then that's all that matters.  I'm glad you made the best decision for you and your family. :)
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    Carter Robert 7.18.08 | Brynn Sophia 5.24.10 | Reid Joseph 9.10.12 | Emerson Mae 1.27.14

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  • I really can relate to your post... I ep'd and struggled w/the decision to quit because I felt like a bad person for not being more dedicated.  Almost like I was not doing what was best for DD. I cannot even tell you what a stress reliever it was to finally quit. I am so much happier now, I have more spare time, my boobs dont hurt....
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  • Good for you - bf'ing just isn't for everyone.  I struggled as well and felt horrible about quitting, but I am so much happier since I did, and feel like I finally got to start enjoying being a mom when I did. 
    -Deborah
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  • My story is very similar. You have to do what is best for you and your family and a happy mom is what is best for your family!

    The only difference with me is Sadie couldn't eat my breastmilk and now I have 20 bags in my freezer as I was pumping for when I return to work and I don't hav the heart to throw it out! I don;t have enough to donate so it's just chilling in the freezer.

  • You made the right choice for you. My sister FF her boys and thought that I was all poo-poo because I chose to BF. Never- whatever is best for you and your baby is best. She didn't want to BF, so that was the best choice for her.

     Glad you're happy now and that you had the bravery to make a choice for yourself! *applause*

  • thank you for your honesty - I may be headed this route and I needed to read a post like this today.
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