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July 2011 Moms
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Stress and pregnancy

KareninKarenin member
in July 2011 Moms

I posted a few weeks ago that my sister died recently. I have been seeing a counselor since she got sick, so I'm dealing with it, but as you can imagine this is really emotionally difficult. I am planning my meals to make sure I am eating right and I am still exercising so I feel like I am taking care of the baby physically, but I am worried about how the stress could affect the baby. My therapist said it would be a good idea to tell my OB what happened, just so he is aware. I tried at my last two appointments, but I literally cannot say the words out loud- I cannot say that she died. I doubt my OB really needs to know since everything with me has been physically fine and even if he is worried about the stress, what can he really do that the therapist (who is a psychiatrist so she is an MD as well) can't tell me to do?

Anyway, I'm just nervous about the grief process being bad for the baby, but I don't really know if there is anything I can do about it. Thoughts? Ideas? Opinions?

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Re: Stress and pregnancy

  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member

    I'll tell you what my doctor told me.  The baby can probably sense stress when you are experiencing it.  But they experience the physical symptoms that you have (increased heartrate, increased resperations, elevated bp, etc...).  There is no evidence that emotional distress harms them unless those factors are present.

    If you're taking good care of your body, and doing the best you can to take care of yourself emotionally, let yourself off the hook.  You're hanging in there.  Keep on keeping on.

    <<hugs>>

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  • txaggie2002txaggie2002 member

    I'm so sorry for your loss.  It really sounds like you're doing everything you can to take care of yourself.  You can't control the fact that you're going to have intense emotions right now.

     I will also add that one of my friends had her husband killed in Afghanistan when she was 6 months pregnant and already had a 2-year-old.  Obviously the most difficult thing she had ever gone through...and her baby was perfectly healthy. 



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  • TristaD81TristaD81

    I know I've told you this before, but I am so sorry for your loss.  It's great that you are still taking care of yourself and are getting help working through the grief.

    That being said, I think it would be good for your OB to know.  Stress can have a lot of physical impacts on your body, like high blood pressure.  I can't imagine how difficult it is for you, is there any way someone could go with you to an appt for emotional support?

    ETA:  This by no means implies that I think something bad will happen to your baby.  You are taking good care of yourself.  I just agree with your counselor about telling your OB.

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  • cgrah1aicgrah1ai
    I am so sorry. We lost my husband's mother in December, and I lost mine in high school, so this sounds familiar...what my therapist said is that as long as you don't suppress any grief (push the emotions away and deny them) then grieving will help release/relieve some of the emotional stress and the physical manifestations of it. Also ditto what PP said re: babies experiencing the physical symptoms but not the emotional ones.
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  • cgrah1aicgrah1ai
    imageTristaD81:

    I know I've told you this before, but I am so sorry for your loss.  It's great that you are still taking care of yourself and are getting help working through the grief.

    That being said, I think it would be good for your OB to know.  Stress can have a lot of physical impacts on your body, like high blood pressure.  I can't imagine how difficult it is for you, is there any way someone could go with you to an appt for emotional support?

    ETA:  This by no means implies that I think something bad will happen to your baby.  You are taking good care of yourself.  I just agree with your counselor about telling your OB.

     

    Also this...my therapist (like yours, a psychiatrist/MD) told me to let mine know because  you could be at an increased risk for PPD in addition to the other physical factors. 

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  • google123google123 member

    I don't think you need to tell him exact details...but usually when you first see your doctor at appointments, they usually ask 'how are things going?'.  At that point you could let him know that you've been under a lot of stress due to some personal/family issues.  No need to go more into details.  I think if you tell him, you might burst into tears.  Plus, what's he going to say/do?  Nothing.  All he can do is just take that into consideration with the rest of the symptoms you have during your appointment (BP, appetite, etc).

     

    I say, don't go into details.  That's what your therapist is for.  

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