Present at destination wedding?

nsees

So when you spend big money to attend someone's wedding do you still bring a big gift?  I was toying with the idea of making her a matching runner and cloth napkin set and mailing to her house but I wouldn't be able to do that now until well after the wedding.

Not sure what the standard protocol is on this though?

Eta- removed specific amount

CABunny

I would think that your presence is present enough. 

It would be fun to sew something for the house and I think with wedding gift giving ettiquette (sp?) you have some time after the wedding to get the gift to them, right?

papagena

I think it's still standard to have a gift, although I agree, I'd ship it to their house.  If you're pretty close and you think she's pretty relaxed about it all, you could get her something truly small to represent the gift you're giving and give that to her at the wedding and then do the table runner & napkin set.  A friend of mine did that for me, and I was perfectly happy with it.  She got me cordial glasses from a resale shop in lieu of the champagne flutes that she was going to get me.  I honestly use the cordial glasses more than the 'real' gift. 

SWBs Wifey

In my family, we were raised to believe that it was rude to bring a gift to the wedding.  It should be delivered directly to the couple (or parents of the bride if it is before the wedding).  So I think you'd be fine to send it as soon as you can AFTER the wedding.

nsees

papagena:

I think it's still standard to have a gift, although I agree, I'd ship it to their house.  If you're pretty close and you think she's pretty relaxed about it all, you could get her something truly small to represent the gift you're giving and give that to her at the wedding and then do the table runner & napkin set.  A friend of mine did that for me, and I was perfectly happy with it.  She got me cordial glasses from a resale shop in lieu of the champagne flutes that she was going to get me.  I honestly use the cordial glasses more than the 'real' gift. 

What about bringing a card with me and saying the present is following?  Then I could order something smaller off their registery or make the runner/cloth napkin set?

They're having a long honeymoon after the wedding.

MissyOlivePants

nsees:

papagena:

I think it's still standard to have a gift, although I agree, I'd ship it to their house.  If you're pretty close and you think she's pretty relaxed about it all, you could get her something truly small to represent the gift you're giving and give that to her at the wedding and then do the table runner & napkin set.  A friend of mine did that for me, and I was perfectly happy with it.  She got me cordial glasses from a resale shop in lieu of the champagne flutes that she was going to get me.  I honestly use the cordial glasses more than the 'real' gift. 

What about bringing a card with me and saying the present is following?  Then I could order something smaller off their registery or make the runner/cloth napkin set?

They're having a long honeymoon after the wedding.

Yes - it's still proper for a gift even with a destination wedding.  I think your idea is perfect.

papagena

nsees:

papagena:

I think it's still standard to have a gift, although I agree, I'd ship it to their house.  If you're pretty close and you think she's pretty relaxed about it all, you could get her something truly small to represent the gift you're giving and give that to her at the wedding and then do the table runner & napkin set.  A friend of mine did that for me, and I was perfectly happy with it.  She got me cordial glasses from a resale shop in lieu of the champagne flutes that she was going to get me.  I honestly use the cordial glasses more than the 'real' gift. 

What about bringing a card with me and saying the present is following?  Then I could order something smaller off their registery or make the runner/cloth napkin set?

They're having a long honeymoon after the wedding.

I think that is more than fine.    I'm so excited for you - what fun!

CABunny

MissyOlivePants:

nsees:

papagena:

I think it's still standard to have a gift, although I agree, I'd ship it to their house.  If you're pretty close and you think she's pretty relaxed about it all, you could get her something truly small to represent the gift you're giving and give that to her at the wedding and then do the table runner & napkin set.  A friend of mine did that for me, and I was perfectly happy with it.  She got me cordial glasses from a resale shop in lieu of the champagne flutes that she was going to get me.  I honestly use the cordial glasses more than the 'real' gift. 

What about bringing a card with me and saying the present is following?  Then I could order something smaller off their registery or make the runner/cloth napkin set?

They're having a long honeymoon after the wedding.

Yes - it's still proper for a gift even with a destination wedding.  I think your idea is perfect.

LOL, it's a good thing I've never been to a destination wedding!

InfamousQBert

seconding the suggestions to send a gift. remember, the couple will be traveling, too, and anything you bring, they'll have to either carry with them, or ship back. destination weddings have different rules than regular ones.

nsees

CABunny:

MissyOlivePants:

nsees:

papagena:

I think it's still standard to have a gift, although I agree, I'd ship it to their house.  If you're pretty close and you think she's pretty relaxed about it all, you could get her something truly small to represent the gift you're giving and give that to her at the wedding and then do the table runner & napkin set.  A friend of mine did that for me, and I was perfectly happy with it.  She got me cordial glasses from a resale shop in lieu of the champagne flutes that she was going to get me.  I honestly use the cordial glasses more than the 'real' gift. 

What about bringing a card with me and saying the present is following?  Then I could order something smaller off their registery or make the runner/cloth napkin set?

They're having a long honeymoon after the wedding.

Yes - it's still proper for a gift even with a destination wedding.  I think your idea is perfect.

LOL, it's a good thing I've never been to a destination wedding!

My mom said the same as you but I'm glad I checked in here. I know my friend won't care either way but I certainly don't want to be rude either way. I'll probably just go with something smaller than what I was planning on getting from their registry when I thought I wasn't going. With the timing making something probably won't happen. She did really seem to appreciate the dishcloths I knitted her though at the shower.

emathis2

Our wedding was in the Bahamas.  We had 35 ppl attending and only got 3 gifts.  I understood that people spent a lot of money to get there and stuff so it was fine. That said, I grew up with the believe that you should always give a gift and when I attended other people's destination weddings I always gave something (sent to their house or a card with a check).