s/o tandem nursing

jennterrell

if you had a previously weaned toddler and a new baby, and toddler inquired about nursing, would you encourage or allow it?

As i posted in aspade's survey post below, DS started licking/suckling on my arm yesterday while we were cuddling as i was nursing his baby sister. I'm trying to figure out a response for if/when he asks to nurse. I think i will allow him to try it, but I REALLY hope he doesn't get into a habit of it. I'm just too worn out. But I don't want to deny him a try or two. It just seems like that would encourage jealousy/rivalry feelings.

mrs.a.butler

C was very interested for a while.  And he had been weaned for 9 months when I had L.  

I let him "try" and it thought it was just funny.  So I squirt some milk in his mouth and he thought it was so very yucky that he hasn't asked again.  lol.  

Now, he thinks my boobs are squirt toys.  ::sigh:: boys.

 

But, if he were to want to continue to try I would probably deny him.  I, personally, would feel like it would be sort of like regression.  Let him know that mama's milk is for the baby now.  But he can have "xyz" instead for being such a great big brother and letting her have it.   

papagena

Fortunately, DS has shown no interest.  He did once get kind of near my chest and look like he was thinking some thoughts like 'those used to be important to me...' but that's it - and that I think was while I was still pg.  Like you said (I think) in aspade's post, I've talked to him a lot about how he used to get mommy's milk when he was a baby. 

If he asked, I don't think I'd encourage it, honestly - I'd probably try to distract or say we could cuddle or talk about all the things we do together.  We had 2 years of nursing, and I love him dearly, but I think I'd be a bit uncomfortable if he tried to start up again.  Of course, if he was showing more interest, maybe my answer would be different.

ETA: by 'he', I meant my son - I don't think restarting the nursing relationship is bad - just not for me at this point!

crackerjackprinter

DD had only been weaned for 3 days (totally by herself) when DS was born.  When we got home from the hospital 2 days later she was so grumpy and emotional that I asked if she wanted to nurse.

She is just now re-weaned.  And I had to push a little harder than I maybe wanted to but I really didn't want to nurse 3 kids at once!  And I wanted some one-on-one time with DS.  

I think if he's been weaned a while the chances that he'll pick it right back up are slim.  But you could always offer and explain that he can try it once but that mommy needs her milk for the baby so he can't do it all the time.  Or maybe you'll discover that you want to have that relationship again.

Either way I don't think it would truly hurt.

jennterrell

so this morning, we were all snuggling, and i got out of bed to go nurse the baby. DS turns to Daddy and lifts his shirt and asks if he can drink Daddy's milk.  So I'm curious to see how long before he asks me. When I mentioned it to DH, he was all adamantly "no way" but I think it's my body, my decision.

MawrtyrB

DD had been off the breast long enough to really forget what she was supposed to do but she liked to pretend when she was feeling jealous. I'd let her climb up after the twins and she's put her mouth to my breast and I'd rock her and call her my baby. She just wanted the attention.

Lotte134

I haven't personally had this experience but I know a few moms locally who have.  Most said that their toddler tried to nurse, couldn't remember how, and that was that so I think in general letting him is probably best because chances are once he satisfies his curiosity he'll move on.  But there is a small chance he could pick up again so I guess it's up to you if you want to take that chance or not.  We're in the process of weaning right now and I'm not sure what I'll do if DS asks after this new one is here.

Dobie_Mama

Lotte134:

I haven't personally had this experience but I know a few moms locally who have.  Most said that their toddler tried to nurse, couldn't remember how, and that was that so I think in general letting him is probably best because chances are once he satisfies his curiosity he'll move on.  But there is a small chance he could pick up again so I guess it's up to you if you want to take that chance or not.  We're in the process of weaning right now and I'm not sure what I'll do if DS asks after this new one is here.

This.  S asked to nurse when L was born so I let her give it a try.  She couldn't figure out what she was doing and, after that, would say, "Baby can eat from you but I don't know how to!" and then laugh.  That was pretty much it.