A lady on my local board suggested I repost this here. I haven't frequented this board, but I would truly appreciate any opinions and advice. Thank you!
The pedi keeps telling me not to worry, but I'm still concerned about
my 3.5 y.o. DD's inability to manage being in large crowds or around lots of
noise. I don't know if she's just really shy or if there's more going
on. I'm wondering if maybe she has some sort of sensory issue or
She's shy but acts appropriately one-on-one with strangers. She's totally fine one-on-one or in small groups with people she knows and is really able to open up in those situations. She does great in preschool with 11 other kids, especially now that she's very comfortable there and knows the routine they follow every day. She's still on the quiet side at preschool but she does talk, especially to the teachers and a couple close friends.
I'm not concerned about her intelligence. Her vocabulary is also not at all worrisome, and although I was worried about her enunciation, we had her evaluated and her speech is age-appropriate.
The girl simply cannot handle large
crowds, though. Birthday parties have been an issue to the point that
we no longer have them for her or DS. We've only been to two parties in
the past 18 months that haven't been a disaster, and it's been because
at both of those parties there was space for her to separate herself
from the party when she needed. At others she's cried and said she
didn't have a good time. It has helped some that we now try to prepare
her ahead of time by telling her there will be a lot of people, but it
hasn't been a cure.
Today we took her on a train ride to see Curious George. Should have been a great time. It was great for the train ride out to see Curious George and while we were at that area, but things fell apart as soon as we got back on the train. Her balloon had popped while we were off the train and even though they quickly gave her two more, she cried as I rocked her in my lap the entire ride back to the station. She said it was too loud on the train. She didn't calm down until she was strapped into the car. She fell asleep on the way home, but she shouldn't have been tired. I think she was only tired from all the crying. She doesn't normally nap anymore, plus this was still early in the day.
The weird thing is that we went to a crowded children's museum while we were on vacation last month and she did fine. She spent the entire time engrossed in the moon sand area and at the water table, though. It was like she was focused enough to tune out the chaos. (She was still responsive to DH and myself, though. It's not like she was completely in her own world.) I've also noticed that the best way to get her to tell me about her day at preschool is to get her talking about it while she's playing with Play-Doh or something similar.
We don't go to lots
of crowded places like the zoo, museums, etc., so I don't know if part
of the problem is that she hasn't had a ton of exposure to large
crowds. She does fine at the grocery store, church, preschool and
places like that, though.