another "they're not talking yet" post

kimarino13

The girls are 15 months old today and still not really talking.  Sophia will say "aaa" for snack and "ffff" for fruit, and randomly "oh boy" or "oh wow" though I don't think she knows what those last two mean.  Lily will say mom and dada when she feels like it, but will sometimes go a week without using those.  But neither have actual words they use consistently.

They do, however, have 35+ signs, which they use all day long to communicate (Sophia signed for "baby" + "time" + "please" all in a row, and handed me the remote, which was her asking me to turn Baby Signing Time on).  And they understand almost everything we tell them and follow fairly complex commands really well.

Pedi said they should have had 3 words at 12 months, and progression further than that at 15 months.  I am sensing that a lecture is coming, which will make me feel like a huge failure.

I am trying not to worry, but it's hard.  It seems like Lily is about to have a language explosion.  She talks jibberish in sentences with inflection all day now, and Sophia has also started doing this the past couple weeks.  But I just don't know...

Ugh.

Anyone else in a similar boat?  I hope I don't have to really "worry" about this for another few months?

SpinningJess

My son is 18 months as of next week and just within the last 2-3 weeks has started really using words.  He went from having just a couple of words and a few animal sounds to repeating pretty much EVERYTHING, or at least trying.  He was more concerned with his hands-on skills first, even though he's been speaking in full gibberish sentences for-EV-er.  I say no worries right now, and particularly when one starts to talk maybe the other will follow.  And I suppose you could also try to not accept her signs, tell her to say it instead?  ??  Just a thought.

pea-kay

The boys were exactly the same way at 15 months, only they had NO signs. So you're way ahead of where we were. We did get them evaluated for EI at 15 months, and they qualified, but didn't start until 18 months, at which point, they'd already started talking more. They learned some signs at ST which helped, but they had a HUUUUGE speech explosion right after their second birthday.

I just think it's too early to worry. They have signs...they are communicating to you. That's pretty awesome.

leslie13510

According to our pedi, at that age the most important thing is that they understand most of what you say to them.  They should be able to follow simple directions more often than not, be able to point things out when you ask where they are, and things like that. 

A lot of toddlers have a huge word explosion between 15 and 18 months, so she told us not to start worrying about a small vocabulary until then. 

Riley has always had a huge vocabulary for her age, probably because she never shuts her trap.    Nathan was more where your girls are though, and around 16-17 months it was like he just decided to start talking.  It seemed like it happened overnight, though it was probably over the course of a week or two. 

Temp6313048411121614

Someone from EI came by this morning to go over some paperwork.  We don't know if they qualify yet, but I had to sign a bunch of papers.  I really hope they qualify, hopefully we find out within the next few weeks.  J&W don't have any words.  Jacob will say "uh oh", but that's it.  No mama, dada, ball, book, dog, etc.  It varies by state, but in MO they have to have to have a 1/2 age delay (so they have to have speech no further than an 8m old since they're 16m).  I'm sure William will qualify since he has NO language, and I'm pretty sure Jacob will since he only says "uh oh" every now and then.

nikinikinine

Is is possible that all the signing is what is keeping them from speaking?

My friend had a delayed speaker - he was almost 2 1/2 by the time he really started talking. She had also done signing with him. She had to stop acknowledging the signs and signing back to him before he talked. Within a month +/- of ignoring the sign language and correcting him - if you want a cracker you need to ask for a cracker kind of thing - he started talking.

 What is the incentive to actually talk if they are able to communicate their needs and you are able to understand them/meet those needs?

SpinningJess

nikinikinine:

Is is possible that all the signing is what is keeping them from speaking?

My friend had a delayed speaker - he was almost 2 1/2 by the time he really started talking. She had also done signing with him. She had to stop acknowledging the signs and signing back to him before he talked. Within a month +/- of ignoring the sign language and correcting him - if you want a cracker you need to ask for a cracker kind of thing - he started talking.

 What is the incentive to actually talk if they are able to communicate their needs and you are able to understand them/meet those needs?

Most kids who sign still develop verbal skills in a normal timeframe.  My son has signed "more" for a very long time, now he also says it when he signs.  I think it's important for the adults to always verbalize when they sign as well.

kafunder

nikinikinine:

Is is possible that all the signing is what is keeping them from speaking?

My friend had a delayed speaker - he was almost 2 1/2 by the time he really started talking. She had also done signing with him. She had to stop acknowledging the signs and signing back to him before he talked. Within a month +/- of ignoring the sign language and correcting him - if you want a cracker you need to ask for a cracker kind of thing - he started talking.

 What is the incentive to actually talk if they are able to communicate their needs and you are able to understand them/meet those needs?

We had a family friend with a similar situation...the child would only sign and would refuse to talk until they stopped with the sign language. The family always blamed the delayed speaking on the sign language. I have no idea from a development perspective if this is true or not...just what I heard them say.

UsedToBeGoldie

they will be fine.

They are doing better than Griffin was at that age - and he's so damn articulate now it scares me!  He didn't say a whole lot until right after he turned 2 - he EXPLODED then.

Gibby was like your girls - and now at 22mo has a ton of words - i think he'll explode like Griffin did in the next few months, too.

Gray- at 18mo - said NO words... and is now in speech thearpy- but he barely qualified- b/c even at 18mo having no words is not THAT horrible- he just had a 25% delay (in both receptive and expressive... to qualify for EI here you need 25% delay in 2 areas or 33% delay in one).

The fact that they understand is the most important... and the fact that they are communicating with signs and some words - and getting their message across, is what matters.  It's when they can't get their thoughts out at all and show frustration (like gray does- screaming often, fits, etc) that it's a problem.

having that many signs is HUUUUGE.  And the fact that they are twins does = more chance for twin talk, too... so really- don't worry!!

MamaCrystal

leslie13510:

According to our pedi, at that age the most important thing is that they understand most of what you say to them.  They should be able to follow simple directions more often than not, be able to point things out when you ask where they are, and things like that.   

This!  Our girls are similar to yours.  They only say a few real words, but also mimic a lot of what we say after we say it.  They follow directions well though and clearly understand what we say to them.  They fall right between our sons' abilities.  Our oldest was saying many and longer words like "dappadaw" for applesauce at 15 months... our 2nd oldest was still barely talking when he turned 2.

kimi_brighteyes

DD said her first word at 15 months (it was no - mama and papa came much later).  I was so worried, but she is now 4 and a chatterbox with an amazing vocabulary.

kimarino13

SpinningJess:

nikinikinine:

Is is possible that all the signing is what is keeping them from speaking?

My friend had a delayed speaker - he was almost 2 1/2 by the time he really started talking. She had also done signing with him. She had to stop acknowledging the signs and signing back to him before he talked. Within a month +/- of ignoring the sign language and correcting him - if you want a cracker you need to ask for a cracker kind of thing - he started talking.

 What is the incentive to actually talk if they are able to communicate their needs and you are able to understand them/meet those needs?

Most kids who sign still develop verbal skills in a normal timeframe.  My son has signed "more" for a very long time, now he also says it when he signs.  I think it's important for the adults to always verbalize when they sign as well.

I truly don't think the signing is holding them back.  We *ALWAYS* say the word (several times) when they sign.  I am glad they have that to fall back on.

I guess MH was a late talker (2) so who knows.  It seems like they have focused all of their energy on more physical things like walking, climbing, etc at an early age.

mlgd

Just wanted to chime in that you're not alone. I actually almost posted something about this last week. My twins are 16 months and say "uh oh," "dada," and "dah-dah" (for doggy). That's about it. I'm always one to say that you shouldn't compare, but DS1 was super-verbal and had way more words at 15 months. And then a friend just posted her 15 month old's ridiculously long list of words on her blog. I've been feeling a little concerned, but mostly sad that they don't get the same one-on-one time with me that DS1 got. Stupid MoM guilt...

Anyway, the fact that they have so many signs is awesome. (We're not signing here at all.) And apparently the fact that they follow commands and understand most of what you say is more important at this point than a lack of words. So I wouldn't worry too much, but I know where you're coming from.

But I am curious... When you say that you're expecting a pedi "lecture" on their progress, are you worried that your pedi will scold you or place blame? Maybe that's not what you meant, but that would *really* bother me (as a parent) if that was his/her suggestion.

kimarino13

mlgd:

Just wanted to chime in that you're not alone. I actually almost posted something about this last week. My twins are 16 months and say "uh oh," "dada," and "dah-dah" (for doggy). That's about it. I'm always one to say that you shouldn't compare, but DS1 was super-verbal and had way more words at 15 months. And then a friend just posted her 15 month old's ridiculously long list of words on her blog. I've been feeling a little concerned, but mostly sad that they don't get the same one-on-one time with me that DS1 got. Stupid MoM guilt...

Anyway, the fact that they have so many signs is awesome. (We're not signing here at all.) And apparently the fact that they follow commands and understand most of what you say is more important at this point than a lack of words. So I wouldn't worry too much, but I know where you're coming from.

But I am curious... When you say that you're expecting a pedi "lecture" on their progress, are you worried that your pedi will scold you or place blame? Maybe that's not what you meant, but that would *really* bother me (as a parent) if that was his/her suggestion.

"Lecture" was a little harsh, but we always get those forms to fill out where you check the boxes of things they are doing.  At 12 months, a lot of the things were ridiculous, like check how many blocks baby can stack:  0, 2-3, 4-5, 6-7, 8+.  And check how many two-word phrases baby can say, like "more cookies."

When I told her that Lily just babbled and Sophia didn't even babble as much as Lily, she wanted to check Sophia's hearing since she said they should have 3 words at 12 months.  (I declined.  I know she can hear just fine.)  She said she definitely expects that they'll have at least that at 15 months.

I know she won't place blame, but I will still feel bad.  I can't help it.  I feel like somehow I have failed them, you know?

jalaiaa

James has no words, Eli has 4 and they both have about 4-5 signs (I haven't tried to teach them anymore than those though). Pedi said James is definitely "behind" but not to worry yet. Just talk a lot to them and read to them. Also said that signs count as words. So while I'm not worried, I do wish they would talk more. I don't like my kid being "behind."

 

kimarino13

jalaiaa:

James has no words, Eli has 4 and they both have about 4-5 signs (I haven't tried to teach them anymore than those though). Pedi said James is definitely "behind" but not to worry yet. Just talk a lot to them and read to them. Also said that signs count as words. So while I'm not worried, I do wish they would talk more. I don't like my kid being "behind."

 

Thanks.  We talk and read to them all.day.long, so I am glad to hear that is what's recommended.

Your boys may not be talking up a storm, but they have dance moves like no other.  We are definitely behind on that milestone.    Lily recently started "dancing" with her arms and I always think of your boys dancing to ke$ha!  SO funny.  And SO cute.

mlgd

kimarino13:

I know she won't place blame, but I will still feel bad.  I can't help it.  I feel like somehow I have failed them, you know?

Oh yes, I totally get it. Mine don't even say "mama" yet.   I always feel like I could/should be doing more with them to help them learn, and so I often blame myself. But you shouldn't beat yourself up... you're a great mom! (Now if I could only take my own advice...)

SLPMel

I'm a SLP that is expecting twins in November, so I hope you don't mind that I'm posting!

As a clinician, my first question would be if they had their hearing checked and/or if they have a history of ear infections/tubes.  It is always a good idea to rule it out if there is any concerns, and the hearing test is super easy at that age. 

Are they frustrated with you and/or others with the lack of communication?  That is always the biggest red flag for me to get kids in for services.

Are they babbling?  Are the stringing any sounds together "baba, mama"?  Are they using different vowel sounds "mamu"?  Do they respond to their names with any vocalizations?

Are they attempting to repeat words at all?  If you are pairing the verbal with the sign, kids will usually imitate the sounds as well.  That verbal play usually comes out as they play with the different sounds that they are producing. 

I usually make word books for my little ones with the early sounds of "b", "m", and "b".  and ask the parents to read through with the kids.  They can even be pictures pull out of magazines, or printed from google images.  As you read through it, they are highly motivating, targeting the same initial sounds, and they are consistent for them to know what is coming as you read through the "book".  Ball, bird, bed, baby, etc. 

A child who uses sign, or any assitive communication at all, are also getting the input and models from parents to say the word.  It should not impact the language development of a child, and we have the research to back that up. 

In general, it wouldn't be the lack of words, but more so the lack of vocalizations/sound play that would concern me more at 15 months.  Many kids will make the changes they need without any support from a clinician, but you never know who won't be those kids, and I'm a huge fan of Early Intervention. 

If you want any more information (more specifics in regards to what I'd be looking for and what ages, feel free to PM me!) 

daisybride78

Do not feel bad! We are in the exact same boat. Joey can sign more and please and all done, but Henry will not sign anything, and they don't really have any words that they say consistently. They say dada and know who daddy is, and occasionally Joey will say mama. Henry babbles all the time, but Joey not so much. Oh, and they both can say cookie-of course.

Yesterday I was on the toddlers board and was shocked at how many words these mamas were saying that their 14-16 year olds had.  I told DH and that I felt like they were behind compared to other kids. I'm trying to remember that everyone develops at their own rate! The boys understand SO much and are really good at following directions, and our pedi said that was more important at this age than actually talking.

I feel your frustrations though! I'm sure we'll have a verbal explosion any day now! 

kimarino13

Thank you for responding!  I will answer below!

SLPMel:

I'm a SLP that is expecting twins in November, so I hope you don't mind that I'm posting!

As a clinician, my first question would be if they had their hearing checked and/or if they have a history of ear infections/tubes.  It is always a good idea to rule it out if there is any concerns, and the hearing test is super easy at that age.  Hearing was checked in the hospital and came back fine.  They can hear even little noises like a floor creek, me whispering, or the cat meowing from across the house and upstairs, so I am guessing it's fine.  They have never had an ear infection.

Are they frustrated with you and/or others with the lack of communication?  That is always the biggest red flag for me to get kids in for services.  Not really.  They can always sign for what they want, or point, or bring me what they are asking for (like a bowl if they want snacks, or their shoes if they want to go play outside) or take my hand and walk me over to what they want.

Are they babbling?  Are the stringing any sounds together "baba, mama"?  Are they using different vowel sounds "mamu"?  Do they respond to their names with any vocalizations?  Yes, they babble with different vowel sounds.  It's almost like the talk in sentences, but all babble.  They will place inflection in certain places,. too, and respond to each other just like a conversation.  If I call them, they will respond with babble with inflection, almost like "Yes?"

Are they attempting to repeat words at all?  If you are pairing the verbal with the sign, kids will usually imitate the sounds as well.  That verbal play usually comes out as they play with the different sounds that they are producing.   They try to repeat almost every word we say.  They are getting pretty close, too!  I will ask Sophia, "Where's Jenn?" (nanny) and she will say "Eh!" and point to the door (where Jenn comes in in the morning).

I usually make word books for my little ones with the early sounds of "b", "m", and "b".  and ask the parents to read through with the kids.  They can even be pictures pull out of magazines, or printed from google images.  As you read through it, they are highly motivating, targeting the same initial sounds, and they are consistent for them to know what is coming as you read through the "book".  Ball, bird, bed, baby, etc.   Good to know, thank you!  I have been practicing "b", "m" and a hard "c" like cat.  They look at our cat and I say "Cat" and they might say "aaa" and then immediately sign for cat.  Same with dog.  "aaah" when they see her and sign for dog.  I will keep digging up books with B and M sounds!

A child who uses sign, or any assitive communication at all, are also getting the input and models from parents to say the word.  It should not impact the language development of a child, and we have the research to back that up.  Thank you for this!

In general, it wouldn't be the lack of words, but more so the lack of vocalizations/sound play that would concern me more at 15 months.  Many kids will make the changes they need without any support from a clinician, but you never know who won't be those kids, and I'm a huge fan of Early Intervention.  Thanks again!  They definitely make sounds all day long - like they are trying to talk!  It has exploded a bunch in the last 2-3 weeks, so I am hoping it's just a matter of time!  I really appreciate you taking the time to respond! 

If you want any more information (more specifics in regards to what I'd be looking for and what ages, feel free to PM me!) 

scraw99

SLPMel:

In general, it wouldn't be the lack of words, but more so the lack of vocalizations/sound play that would concern me more at 15 months.  

 

This.  I'm a SLP also.  I think you are doing awesome job as a mom!! I'm very impressed with the number of signs they have.  Signing facilitates speech development so they'll get there very soon. 

allabydreams

Three words at 12 months? My guys are 13.5 months and don't have any words yet. And we're not signing, either.

jalaiaa

kimarino13:

jalaiaa:

James has no words, Eli has 4 and they both have about 4-5 signs (I haven't tried to teach them anymore than those though). Pedi said James is definitely "behind" but not to worry yet. Just talk a lot to them and read to them. Also said that signs count as words. So while I'm not worried, I do wish they would talk more. I don't like my kid being "behind."

 

Thanks.  We talk and read to them all.day.long, so I am glad to hear that is what's recommended.

Your boys may not be talking up a storm, but they have dance moves like no other.  We are definitely behind on that milestone.    Lily recently started "dancing" with her arms and I always think of your boys dancing to ke$ha!  SO funny.  And SO cute.

They're developing some great moves for sure. We've tried to modify our music choices to more kid-friendly music, but they don't seem to like it as much. Turn on Ke$ha and they're all over the place.  

Feel free to post videos of Lily dancing. Would love to show her off to the boys.