Grant me patience... (MIL vent) sorry long

rguinn75

Most of you know I have a very loving well meaning MIL.  That said she and I are on two totally different ends of the spectrum.  I lived alone for 15 yrs before meeting DH and so I am very independant and not very dramatic. I am very used to taking care of myself and it has even taken DH some time to get used to this.

 Since some of this happend with our LO and the cerclage etc.  MIL has been not so in agreement on the way I have been up and about etc.  Two weeks ago she threatend to beat me with a fly swatter because I had helped DH get the spare room set up for my parents.  Now mind you I helped him scoot the mattress and drop it on the frame.  No lifting!!!  And her new thing is she is driving by our house to make sure I am home and not out doing things she thinks I should not be doing. She told me she had stopped this because it upsets our dogs... However, in the last week I have caught her driving by twice.  It drives me crazy... I do not like being treated like I am a child.

DH since he was hired back by his job (yeah) will have to go to MI for planting season off an on through this month.  It is this or go for another round of stuff in July which is way close to my due date.. So we are willing to do this stent vs. do the round then.

I am soooo dreading him being gone.. not for fear of going into early labor or having to deal with stuff around the farm.  But for the fact my MIL is going to smother me and drive me crazy.  The last time I was pregnant and he was out of town with our angel baby... she drove by our house twice and then called the house 5 times.  (this all after she cornered me at the mcdonalds drive through that morning to tell me I should not take out the trash)... I refused to answer the phone (she did not leave messages) because I had nothing nice to say at that point.  She then called DH to complain that I was not answering the phone... He thankfully told her I had been tired and gone to bed.

I know she means well.  But it is so hard to give up my independance to a woman who refuses to understand that if I need something I will call.  Lord Help me! 

HadleyS

Oh my gosh,  I am sorry.  That's all I can say.  I don't think I have any good advice to contribute, because it sounds to me that if you confronted her about it, she would still just go ahead and do what she wants anyway! =/

sisterrael

Oh wow.  Posts like these make me glad my in laws are two states away.  Stay strong and sane.

tiffanysbride

I think your DH needs to call her with a post trip talk. He needs to point out that she while well meaning is causing stress which is not good and that of course you are doing everything possible to ensure your baby stays put. If anyone should understand what lengths a mother will go to she should, esp considering her drive by check- in insanity!

rguinn75

tiffanysbride:

I think your DH needs to call her with a post trip talk. He needs to point out that she while well meaning is causing stress which is not good and that of course you are doing everything possible to ensure your baby stays put. If anyone should understand what lengths a mother will go to she should, esp considering her drive by check- in insanity!

He has tried this... does not work... its more I need to just close the windows, shut the blinds and pretend to be oblivious... but not much I can do about the phone calls or the fact she knows where the spare key is..lol  Maybe I can hide those...hmmm always a good thought

HadleyS

rguinn75:

tiffanysbride:

I think your DH needs to call her with a post trip talk. He needs to point out that she while well meaning is causing stress which is not good and that of course you are doing everything possible to ensure your baby stays put. If anyone should understand what lengths a mother will go to she should, esp considering her drive by check- in insanity!

He has tried this... does not work... its more I need to just close the windows, shut the blinds and pretend to be oblivious... but not much I can do about the phone calls or the fact she knows where the spare key is..lol  Maybe I can hide those...hmmm always a good thought

Good heavens, yes, find a new place for that spare key!  Just be sure to tell your DH where the new hiding spot is.  It would be hilarious if you left a note where the old spot was stating that you do not approve of all of these check ups!  I am probably too wuss to do something like that, but the point would be made with some heavy shock value, that's for sure.

My, MIL, on the other hand, has her own key to our house and has our security code as well.  We definitely get along, but it would suck completely if our relationship ever soured.

kbel424

OMG, that would drive me insane. And even after your H has told her its causing you more stress, she still continues? It sounds like there has to be a more stern conversation with her. You can't live with someone cornering you at the drive thru and stalking you at home!

quezzo

Ok, no offense, but she sounds like a stalker and if it were mine I would tell her she is acting like that. I would make DH have a serious talk with her and tell her to stay away and that you will call her if you need her. Her actions are really uncalled for and wold creep me out. 

rvandiver0705

I would have gone BSC on her ass a long time ago.  You have the patience of a saint.

Karen1998

quezzo:

Ok, no offense, but she sounds like a stalker and if it were mine I would tell her she is acting like that. I would make DH have a serious talk with her and tell her to stay away and that you will call her if you need her. Her actions are really uncalled for and wold creep me out. 

I have to agree with this. If she weren't family, you'd probably be considering a restraining order.  It's definitely weird that she's so up and in your business 24/7.  I think it's time for a full on intervention since a talk clearly does nothing.  Perhaps sitting down with her and listing out the things she's doing and pointing out (politely) that she's completely obsessing about this situation would help.  Though, it could also seriously backfire.  That's just a hard situation.