Wish I could get out of this slump

MrsRyan61804

I will start by saying I love being a mom, and know how blessed I am. If we are never able to have another I will take comfort in the fact that we were blessed with Jack.

That being said I can't help but stress about having more. A lot of my friends are now pregnant with their seconds and I find myself having the same anxiety, sadness, and jealousy I had when we were ttc. I can't help but think if things would have gone the way I planned we might be on our 2nd or even 3rd by now. It doesn't help when everyone is asking if we are using BC and keep saying hey you never know!

Dh doesn't even like to talk about the thought of having another. He keeps saying let's just enjoy him. He has even said he is not sure he wants more. He feels like when I talk about going back to the RE that I am taking Jack for granted. This is so far from the truth. I enjoy every second I have with Jack, and have not forgotten what we went through to get here. I'm a planner and would really like to come to an agreement as to when we might want to go back. I also think knowing Dh was on board to have another would reduce some of anxiety I have about not having another. I know how blessed we are. But I also fear I will never get to do this again. Because of this fear I put a lot of pressure and stress on myself to do things exactly right all the time.

I am the happiest I have ever been. I love being a mom. There was a time when I thought we would never be parents and I would never get to experience this happiness. I won't lie, I will be disappointed if we don't have other children but I have something some don't and I am very thankful for this. Just wish I could get passed this slump I'm in right now.

krissyh21

I am not sure how old you are. But have you considered tabling the discussion with DH for 6 months or even a year, and have it be known that at that time, you will need to come up with a game plan and a decision on where to go from there? At least then you will have your "plan" of what is going to go down. You can enjoy Jack (not like you aren't already) but that will allow your H to make a decision as well.

I know how hard it is to not be on the same page as H with the amount of children you want, I was forced to make the choice of being one and done. I still resent H for it, but we are working through it. And honestly, I am kind of relieved about knowing what my life will be rather then wondering if the next cycle will work (that took awhile to come to this place). 

choco_lab

All I'll say is it's a big stress once you get back on the roller coaster.  We went back to the RE when DS was 7 months and did my first cycle when he was a year old.  (We went back due to my age and high FSH).  It took a year for something to work.  Going through treatment with all the appts and emotions is not easy.  It was a lot harder for me TTC #2.

I think it's a good suggestion to try to agree with DH on a time table when you could come together to discuss trying.  Maybe not talk about it for a few months so you can give your mind a break?  I think it's hard for the men when they are really little.. once your DS gets to be one he will be able to interact with him so much more and might come around.

<<<hugs>>

perry7285

your feelings are 100 percent understandable!

i also crave another one or two babies, while simultaneously being over the moon about our first baby.

go easy on yourself, this is stressful stuff. i hope you and  dh are able to make a plan for #2 sometime soon.