BF around other child — The Bump
Breastfeeding

BF around other child

I have a 7 year old step daughter and whenever I am BFing LO, she always wants to be around and kiss on her little brother.  It doesnt really bother me that she is there but it seems to bother DH.  He says she shouldnt watch me feed him.  Is it appropriate that she is with me while BFing LO? Is this something I should talk to her mother about to make sure she is okay with it? I just dont know if her seeing my breasts is appropriate or not.  Thanks

1ht

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Re: BF around other child

  • I think making it private is a bad idea. Nursing a baby is very normal your step daughter is being shown an amazing thing... how to nurse a baby! You should ask you DH why he doesn't think she should watch? Is it because he thinks her mother will be upset or because he doesn't like her seeing your breasts?

    IMHO I owe my success in nursing my daughter to SEEING my sisters and family nurse their babies.... they pulled their breast out and nursed their baby not hesitation, the baby being fed was a priority and that taught me so much. I can't imagine if they had hidden in a back room how that would have affected me but I hear people being afraid to nurse their baby and it is clear to me, it is a service you are doing to her showing her that nursing is natural not something to hide or feel ashamed about.

    On another note my neice (she was 4) asked me what I was doing, I told her I was nursing the baby... she wanted to see so I let her then she said THE BABY SUCKS ON YOUR BOOB! it was halarious! then she calmed down and said... I sucked on my moms boob.

    I also was nursing at a friends and their son was very curious, he didn't want to see but sat next to me and asked what I was doing... I told him nursing the baby she is hungry/tired.  His parents were not upset and his mom is the kind that does not NIP, even when I was at her home she went to her bedroom.

    Ok I rambled enough... 


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  • I breastfeed in front of my 12 (almost 13) year old SS.  I don't let it all hang out, but baby needs to eat, I am not going to hide, and children need to learn that breasts are how babies eat.  He is currious about the whole process, but is very respectful.  He often asks questions and I answer them honestly.  My husband is also uncomfortable with him being so near, or sitting next to me when I feed her, but he admits that it's his own issue, and that SS is fine with it.  I think had I made it "weird", then my SS would be uncomfortable.  I made no big deal about breastfeeding, and now he think's it's no big deal and normal.

    I wasn't planning on "asking" BM if it was ok, because no one needs to give me permission to feed my child, when are where she needs to.  She ended up bringing it up to me, because she hadn't discussed breastfeeding with him yet, and she was nervous how he would react.  By that point I had already told him I would be breastfeeding, and the baby wouldn't be getting bottles for a while (he was excited to feed her a bottle, so I had to explain why he wouldn't be).  She seemed relieved that I had taken care of telling/explaining it to him, so she wouldn't have to...lol

    Did your SD's mom breastfeed her?  Does SD seem uncomfortable by seeing you breastfeed?  I would never ask BM if it's OK to breastfeed in front of your SD.  Doing so, would allow BM to dictate what goes on in your own home, with your child.

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  • I think it's important for kids to see women nursing. I think they are curious about it anyway, and that's not a bad thing. I cringe when people make a big deal of it in front of kids. My 6-year-old niece sits beside me while I nurse DD (or did when she was little anyway- I don't NIP anymore b/c DD only nurses every several hours). Anyway, she asks about it, talks to me, looks. It doesn't bother me. The first time she saw me she asked "is she eating from your boob or your arm?!" haha. 
  • I bf in front of my 8 yr old son. He knows it's how his brother gets his food. He thought it was weird at first, but now he's used to it and doesn't think anything of it.
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  • I think modeling is important. I know that is where I became so comfortable with the idea (my sisters are 7 and 9 years younger.) I have BFed in front of my 5yo cousin (who was BFed) and she thinks it is weird and funny now, but maybe someday...

    I also would hope that my kids are exposed. Before DS was born DH was really weird about BFing, and was all about the closed doors. Now he is fine about it. I am not really comfortable pumping in front of people the same way though... lie FIL showed up today and I was really weirded out. I might have been okay if DS was on the breast... but I think I feel like he would be weird, so I am...

    Still... since she is your SD I would maybe think that her mom's opinion is important. You DH I would be less concerned about, but that is maybe just me. 

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  • 1HT ALSO LOL

    i have an 8 yo dd and bf around her and her friends, i think its fine and none of the kids have freaked out over it or acted like its a big deal...maybe ask her mom just to be on the safe side...

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  • I think that her talking to baby while BF will create issues soon.  I typically would take LO into her room lately just because she'd pay more attention to her sisters than to BF.  Something to think about, that usually starts about 4 mo.  My neice saw me BF DD2 all the time (my boobs were never sticking out though).  She'd always say, "My mom didn't feed me with her boobs."
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