WWYD . . . Dilema . . . the secret may be out . . . — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

WWYD . . . Dilema . . . the secret may be out . . .

So . . . my job when pregnant I cannot do specific duties.  I work as a surgical technologist and in some instances I work in surgical cases where I am exposed to chemicals such as cement which they use for fractures in veterbral cases and also in total knees.  If Pregnant you are not suppose to be in the room.  I also have to wear lead because I work in many cases with C-arm and flurol (<-----sp).  But when pregnant you have to where maternity lead it's thicker and more protective.   I kinda have to tell my boss, I don't have a choice.  Matter of safety over secret.  At some point it's gonna be obvious to co-workers.

I spoke with DH about this, my fear is co-workers will find out and it will end up on FB.  None of our imediate family knows.  I don't want them to find out that way!  They'd be upset and hurt!

DH kinda thinks we should tell family ( but cautiously explain that even though things are looking up that doesn't mean im in the "safe zone" so to speak).  I have my appointment on Tuesday and get more betas drawn Monday to see what they are and hopefully they go up uP and UP!!  I told DH I'd kinda like to wait at least til our 1st ultrasound which should be soon before telling.  If my betas are over 2500 (I was told they have to be before they can do an ultrasound)  I'm gonna ask if I can get an ultrasound before "Mother's Day".  We had thought of telling my MIL and suprising her on Mother's Day if all is okay.  I know it's dumb but I feel like I will jinx myself.  WWYD??  If things don't work out my support system was TTCAL and everyone was great!  If it wasn't for that board I don't think I'd have kept my sanity but at the same point I think it would be nice to have family too as a support system if god forbid we need them this time around!

Ugh!  I just don't know what to do . . . and I'm scared.

Sorry so terribly long and for the vent!

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Re: WWYD . . . Dilema . . . the secret may be out . . .

  • You can turn off the ability to write on your wall on FB.  That will resolve the FB issue.  You can also tell your coworkers to not spread the news, especially on FB as you haven't told family yet.  Most will respect that.  It seems like you're going to have to let the secret out at work, so you have to work the news and news telling in your favor. 

    As for your family, tell them when you feel ready.  If I calculated correctly, you won't be 6 weeks yet by Mother's Day (or at least the week before), so you're less likely to see a heartbeat at an u/s next week.  If you're waiting on seeing a hb, you're better off waiting another week. 

    BFP#1 4/17/10...EDD 1/6/11...M/C 5/28/10 BFP#2 11/19/10...EDD 8/4/11 Squeaker born 7/30.
  • I would turn off my wall on FB in your case.  Assuming that your work friends are not also friends with your family, the secret should be safe.  This is the exact type of reason that I have a groundrule that I won't "friend" a current coworker.  I need the separation of work & private life.  You might also want to specifically tell your work FB friends to zip it on FB. 

    I do agree you have to tell your boss.  FWIW, if I was employed in my field, I'd be in the same shoes.  My career deals with working at hazardous waste clean-up sites...and many of them we can't even set foot on if pregnant.  Definitely take the precautions you need. 

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14


    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)


      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

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  • i have been in that position before and they put me in cases where they werent using the fluoro...i got to be in the abdominal cases etc.

    as for FB...just disable the ability to write on your wall.

    DC:#1 10/2006 born at 40 weeks (33 weeks PTL)
    DC#2 born silent at 22 weeks 1.11.11
    Dc#3 born vbac 1/2012 <bra DC#4 born VBAC 3/2014
  • We do the same thing! I have never heard of maternity lead though. I just make sure I am covered. As for cement we have pedals and stuff to control the fumes. I haven't told my work yet, I just make sure to take precautions to protect myself and the baby. If you feel more comfortable tell them, just let them know you don't want everyone to know yet because of your history. You can lock your wall and things like that to make sure it doesn't get out on fb. If you aren't comfortable telling your familly don't until you are ready or tell the most important people and tell them you arent ready for everyone to know. I understand the feeling of jinxing yourself but you won't be. GL with your betas and hopefully you are able to figure it all out.

    TTC Since Oct 08 BFP #1- 1/23/09, missed m/c 2/26/09 BFP #2- 9/8/09, natural m/c 9/16/09 BFP #3- 4/13/10, missed m/c 5/26/10 BFP #4- 4/6/11 beta#1 at 12dpo-133 prog-55.7, beta#2 at 16dpo- 861 DD born 12/8/2011 BFP#5- 11/23/12 EDD 7/25/13 Dx- Uterine septum (removed Aug 2010), endo, MTHFR C677t hetero, Factor II hetero, Low Protein S Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • As far as work goes I am going to tell them AFTER I recieve my beta results on Monday and I know they are going in the right direction. 

    I think I will change my facebook account at least turn things off for awhile.  I know my MIL and SIL will ask questions about that too but I'll just make up something or tell them I think I got a virus or something from facebook.

    DH really wants to tell them but I told him we just can't until we know our ultrasound is okay and yes I'd really like to get that heartbeat before we say anything.  I know he's just really excited and hopeful and I am too.  I'm noticing so many more things with this pregnancy than the last so I'm hoping that's a good sign for us! 

    Thanks for the suggestions/opinions . . . I am now off to conquor facebook!

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