What does one wear to a Bar Mitzvah?

Kristin&Frank

I'm going to wear a nice sundress.  Shoulders covered.  The boys are going to wear khaki pants and button down hawaiian style short sleeve shirts that are both brown but different from each other. 

Frank said he's wearing shorts.  ????!!!!!  Even though this is happening at a country club and not at the synagogue we need to dress as though it's a house of God, right?  Back me up ladies.  Yes, there's a big hawaiian luau themed party afterwards, but that's AFTER.

choco_lab

Could probably get away with a polo shirt and khakis.. but I would not show up in shorts.  We went to one and everyone was in button down shirts, ties and jackets.  And long pants. 

However.  We live in New England.  Is this being held in a place where shorts are "the norm"?

BeccaLandes

I would definitely not wear shorts... I think as a sign of respect to both the bar mitzvah boy and the religion!  If he wants to, he could change into shorts later for the party, especially if it will got hot dancing all day.

shipoopiisforme

shorts are definitely not appropriate for a synagogue!

schmoodle

I usually treat a bar mitzvah the same as a wedding as far as style of dress.

cara-n-steve

I definitely wouldn't wear shorts!  Normally most Bar/Bat Mitzvah's, are pretty formal but I had mine and have only been to ones in a synagogue.  The party is normally at a banquet hall so I don't know if the protocol is different at a country club.

AlissaCell701

BeccaLandes:

I would definitely not wear shorts... I think as a sign of respect to both the bar mitzvah boy and the religion!  If he wants to, he could change into shorts later for the party, especially if it will got hot dancing all day.

This! Even for the most causual Bar Mitzvah shorts are NoT ok! Especially at the temple service... Think of a bar Mitzvah as a wedding! So same rules of dress apply.

Temp848906437505510

I'm confused.  Is the actual Bar Mitzvah at a country club, or, just the reception.  I have never heard of the service (this is what the actual Bar Mitzvah) is being out of a temple.  It's a religious service that requires the reading of the torah, which can really only be done in temple.

Anyway, for a religious service, I would say shorts are not appropriate, however, I've been in reform shuls near the beach where people wore shorts, to my horror.

For the reception, basically, think of it as a wedding, in terms of dress.  With a hawaiian theme, it sounds like it's fairly casual, so, I think khakis are appropriate for that.

CMM05

I'm confused......the actual service is at the country club??? Is the party afterwards an afternoon party or evening party?

Like Schmoodle, we treat Bar/Bat Mitzvah's as a wedding.

If you are going to the synagogue, your DH should not wear shorts. I also would never wear a sundress to a synagogue. Also, I would not allow my sons to wear Hawaiian shirts to a synagogue.

After attending several church wedding ceremonies, I have come to realize that churches seem to be way less formal than most synagogues (at least around here).

Regardless of when the party is, your DH should not be in shorts at a country club. If the party is an afternoon party, you should be okay in a nice sundress, but if it is in the evening, I would dress more formally!

HTH!

Have fun!!!

 

RoxBride

Even here, which tends to be casual, people tend to dress formally.  Men in suit and tie, women in dresses, or dress pants and skirt and top.  I've received invitations that remind guests that elbows should be covered, but that might be specific to our area.

We generally wear a suit and tie for my husband, a suit dress or dress with jacket or fancy sweater for me, and would put DD in a fancy dress, but cover her arms. 

We have been to events with themed parties after, in which case people dressed formally for the ceremony, and then according to the theme for the after party.

Are you going to be in atttendance for the actual ceremony?  If so, I would not wear shorts, Hawaiian shirts or a sundress. 

If you are just going to the after party and have not been invited to the ceremony, then what you have planned is fine.