I think I finally had a breakthrough with DH! — The Bump
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I think I finally had a breakthrough with DH!

I finally lost my cool today with him.  1st of all, it doesn't help that I am totally PMSing.... I got a lot done around the house.  I even made him rice crispy treats, and had dinner ready when he got home.  I didn't get a thank you or a nice job or any type of recognition for everything that I did.  And then HE decides to get mad at ME because I told him that I don't trust him alone with the girls for a whole day.  Thats the point that I couldn't take it anymore.  I told him that I couldn't live feeling like I was 2 feet tall, and that we were not going to get anywhere if we couldn't communicate with each other.  We had a very, very long talk about all of our frustrations.  We basically came to the conclusion that he needs to be more patient with me and not expect so much.  But I do need to stop putting things off (like the laundry) so they pile up and are a harder task in the end.  We assigned days to things, I think that will help me out.  Like I will do laundry on wednesdays and saturdays.  Idk if it will work, but it is worth a try.  He finally admitted that the way he was treating me was wrong, and he actually apologized....That doesn't happen very often.  I think he could see the life fading out of me.  We love each other way to much to let anything conquer us!  I really am optimistic that things will be better.  Time will tell.  
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Livian Elizabeth and Alayna Marjorie!  On their way to 3!
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Re: I think I finally had a breakthrough with DH!

  • Glad you had a talk!  Hopefully he will learn to help you more.  I promise it gets so much easier.  At 9 months it feels like a breeze. 

    Keep it up sister. 

    Three losses in 2009; Boy/Girl twins born in 2010 image
  • Keep up the communication! It's so hard to do when these cute monsters rule our lives. I need to take a lesson from u!
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  • I could have written this exact post today....is it a full moon tonight?? Stick out tongue Seriously though, that's great that you were able to talk it out....that is so important!
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  • (((hugs)) i hope things work out. Did you assign any tasks for him? Its his job too to help out.
  • image Torri106:
    (((hugs)) i hope things work out. Did you assign any tasks for him? Its his job too to help out.

     

    my thoughts exactly!

     

     

     

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  • image Allisonb17:
     I even made him rice crispy treats, and had dinner ready when he got home.  I didn't get a thank you or a nice job or any type of recognition for everything that I did.    

     This stood out to me when I read your post...So glad you guys were able to talk it out, it feels soooo good to communicate calmly and effectively doesn't it!?

     The reason it stood out to me is that it sounds like me a year ago when DH and I were having marriage troubles.   I realized I could never be happy doing things "for my husband" when I was really doing it for myself.  I would do nice things so that I could feel good when he noticed or thanked me.  I finally realized that I really had to do it for HIM to make HIS life easier and to be giving.  It was hard to do nice things and not be recognized when  my subconscious motive was selfish...it made me angry instead of happy.

    Eventually after doing nice things repeatedly he noticed and although I was satisfied knowing I was doing nice things for him it felt EVEN BETTER when he noticed and I didn't EXPECT him to.  Suddenly he was doing nice things for me back!  I have to revisit this concept frequently, because its natural to be selfish and unnatural giving, but that's marriage...being conscious of our actions and choosing to be kind!

    Wow.  You're welcome for the unsolicited marriage counseling!!  ;o) 

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