such a hard day (ramblings)

lotus88

I'm having such a hard day today. Everything positive the doctor said yesterday, it's all gone in my head. The negativity has completely consumed me. She said to be "cautiously optimistic," but I can't think of anything other than the fact that maybe this LO made it a little further than the first and then stopped. Again.  Yesterday I was so upset I didn't care when the u/s was. I didn't want anymore torture.

Today I want one again. As though a day would make a difference. I feel such urgency that it literally takes my breath away. I find myself having to take deep even breaths to get control of myself. I know. I do it to myself. I don't know how I'm going to wait two weeks and how even my vacation will be able to distract me. 

That's it. I needed to get it off my chest.

julesjb

Huge (((hugs))) I hope this gets easier.I will be thinking of you

HadleyS

(((hugs)))  You are going to get through this, and like I said before, I am really rooting for you and hope that you are able to get a peak at your LO while you are in Europe.  Continued thoughts and prayers for you, come vent and/or re-vent anytime, hun.

ravenorchid

((Hugs)) I'm so sorry you have to wait. Sending thoughts and prayers your way!

D&D4Ever7

I am sorry to hear about all the stress you are in.  I will keep you in my thoughts.  I hope you are able to relax on your vacation.  Hugs

rguinn75

((HUGS))... Today you are pregnant and that LO is still cooking right along.  In our situation as hard as it is... it is one day at a time puts us one day closer to LO being here safe and sound.  Deep breath and count to 10.  At some point this is going to be better...

lasvegasbride08

rguinn75:

((HUGS))... Today you are pregnant and that LO is still cooking right along.  In our situation as hard as it is... it is one day at a time puts us one day closer to LO being here safe and sound. 

 My doctor has big goals but still admits he has no idea what is going to happen.  I am in a grey zone... But each week we are closer to our due date the more and more positive he I find setting small goals helps.  Everyday that I do not have spotting or cramping is a good day.  Every day that I go towards 28 weeks puts me one day closer to a 90% success rate in the NICU. becomes. 

Keep your chin up.  I know its hard... I went through several weeks/days where I cried all the time over something that was not yet lost.  It will turn around just think you made it a week longer than you would have without the cerclage!!!  That in itself is a blessing.

 

Well said!!  So very true!!  And Thanks for that message because after reading it I too felt a sence of relief from it!

Karen1998

Big (((((hugs)))))).

rguinn75

lasvegasbride08:

rguinn75:

((HUGS))... Today you are pregnant and that LO is still cooking right along.  In our situation as hard as it is... it is one day at a time puts us one day closer to LO being here safe and sound. 

 My doctor has big goals but still admits he has no idea what is going to happen.  I am in a grey zone... But each week we are closer to our due date the more and more positive he I find setting small goals helps.  Everyday that I do not have spotting or cramping is a good day.  Every day that I go towards 28 weeks puts me one day closer to a 90% success rate in the NICU. becomes. 

Keep your chin up.  I know its hard... I went through several weeks/days where I cried all the time over something that was not yet lost.  It will turn around just think you made it a week longer than you would have without the cerclage!!!  That in itself is a blessing.

 

Well said!!  So very true!!  And Thanks for that message because after reading it I too felt a sence of relief from it!

Thanks I edited my post above because I realized I got two Lovely ladies mixed up and sort of felt like an A$$.. So sorry Lotus... I read your name and thought you were Lorange*...

But it is true... you have to set small goals.. you have to take it one day at a time... its horrible that we are all in the situation we are where things are not puppies and rainbows... The reality is LO's die... they become these wonderful little angels who watch over us every day... but it does not ease our pain or make our next pregnancies any better... If you believe in God I think sometimes with women in our situation God plays a cruel joke...with all the stress and worry... But then in the end at some point... we get our take home babies... and that is a miracle to make us appreciate every cramp, contraction, grey hair we get during all this...

BIG HUGS ladies... im sorry im feeling a little philisophical today

JoAnna914

Oh lotus, I'm so sorry.  It's hard, but try to do what you can to channel the optimism your doctor seemed to express - hang on to each day that you don't have any bad incidents.  I'll be thinking of you.

Junebug060609

The period of time waiting to see if the pregnancy is viable is so hard.  FX that things continue to progress and when you go in for your follow-up u/s you get great news.

 

iggy.d

Great big (((hugs))). Thinking of you and LO.

samm1983

I am sorry you are going through this.  Hugs!

haziedaze

lotus88:

I'm having such a hard day today. Everything positive the doctor said yesterday, it's all gone in my head. The negativity has completely consumed me. She said to be "cautiously optimistic," but I can't think of anything other than the fact that maybe this LO made it a little further than the first and then stopped. Again.  Yesterday I was so upset I didn't care when the u/s was. I didn't want anymore torture.

Today I want one again. As though a day would make a difference. I feel such urgency that it literally takes my breath away. I find myself having to take deep even breaths to get control of myself. I know. I do it to myself. I don't know how I'm going to wait two weeks and how even my vacation will be able to distract me. 

That's it. I needed to get it off my chest.

This part feels so familiar to me. I'm sorry you're going through such torture and agony. With this little one you have hope, a chance. That is all any of us have, it can always be taken away at moment, which is terrifying. ((HUGS))