Today was tough.. but walking into a clinic where the nurse knows and remembers my name and story and so does the resident and her attending was reassuring. Wearing my suit and high heels gave me the confidence to walk in the door.
I've got the clean bill of health, and left wondering if sometimes medicine tells us too much. We went over the report from the surgery that indicated I may have partially m/c in the two days between D & C and diagnosis. I'm not sure how that makes me feel - relieved that my body did what it needed to or upset that I didn't even know or confused and maybe I just find a way to accept I won't really ever know exactly what happened in those 11 weeks. For now, we wait for AF, when I think I'll feel back to normal - I never thought I'd be waiting anxiously for AF, but here I am!
I had to go back to my office (I work at the same hospital) and gather my belongings and was so glad it was the end of the day - I'm not ready to share this bit of vulnerability in the workplace. So, I confidently walked to my office.. took those deep breaths, and finished the work day.
Thanks for the messages earlier this morning - it helps knowing a bulletin board of messages is there to support me!
Re: follow up appt update
Stay strong, lady, and keep taking those deep breaths! I always feel so proud of myself when I make it through another tough situation related to my m/c and I know you must, too!
My heart is as open as the sky.
Read about it on the blog
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
BFP 2.19.11 - Missed miscarriage, April 2011
BFP#1 EDD 11/8/11 - MC @ 9w6d, 4/15/11 we said goodbye
BFP#2 DD arrived 5/7/12