Invitation etiquette....

NikkiCola

Why do so many people nowadays assume that a shower invite is for the whole family? Even when it is addressed only to one person or specific people... In my case the women of the family... I understand that there are some couples showers or other situations... When I receive a shower invitation with ONLY my name I do not assume that my husband is also invited.  

 I do not think it is rude or disrespectful to invite only ladies or is that changing nowadays?? 

AnneShirleyBlythe

It is not at all disrespectful to invite only ladies. Is there more to this story? Most people know that the people on the invite are the invitees. 

rhubarb123

A lot of people are dense - pure and simple.  If my DH got an invite to go to the cigar bar or to go target practicing with his rifle I would NOT assume I was included in the invite.

I am surprised husbands would even want to come - especially if it does not say couples shower or co-ed shower.  Usually it is mothers bringing their kids that is the biggest issue.  Kind of ridiculous that soon we will have to start adding "Women Only" to the invite!!!!  lol

abell77

I am as confused as you are.  An invitation is only for the person's name listed on the invite.  And no, I don't think ladies only showers are uncommon or disrespectful.  However, I do think people are weird and don't know proper etiquette!

NikkiCola

AnneShirleyBlythe:

It is not at all disrespectful to invite only ladies. Is there more to this story? Most people know that the people on the invite are the invitees. 

There really is not anything more to the story... I think it might just be because so many people are having couple or co-ed showers these days that people assume all showers are combined...  

NikkiCola

Most men usually do not want to come to showers! If any do come my husband is going to be prepared and keep them entertained for me! This is my husbands baby too and the idea of a shower to him is just kinda boring! He is excited to look at stuff together in stores and plan but the idea of ladies sitting around and playing silly games does not appeal to him! 

I will actually have a lot of kids at mine because my family is mostly coming from out of town... That is okay though  

TrendyTina

I'm surprised to hear people are confused by this. Obviously if your name isn't on the envelope, the invitation is not for you. Maybe it gets confusing if more than one person from the house is invited. For example if a mom and daughter are invited and both live in the same house, they should receive separate invitations. If only one invitation is sent, maybe that's then people would become confused. ???  

KtotheYtotheM

I think a lot of people aren't aware of the finer points of Etiquette.

It seems obvious but some can't imagine their lovely DH, LO's would not be welcome.  you can always have your hostesses clarify to guests that it is a ladies/adults only affair.

Hope you have a wonderful time!  

SayAnything84

rhubarb123:

A lot of people are dense - pure and simple.  If my DH got an invite to go to the cigar bar or to go target practicing with his rifle I would NOT assume I was included in the invite.

I am surprised husbands would even want to come - especially if it does not say couples shower or co-ed shower.  Usually it is mothers bringing their kids that is the biggest issue.  Kind of ridiculous that soon we will have to start adding "Women Only" to the invite!!!!  lol

 

My DH would not want to have anything to do with a shower. We went to our first 'couples bridal shower' this spring, he hated it and by the end of the night I felt bad for making him come, I should have gone alone. Most men do not want to sit around and watch people open presents, period. At least that has been my experience.

amamommy

AnneShirleyBlythe:

It is not at all disrespectful to invite only ladies. Is there more to this story? Most people know that the people on the invite are the invitees. 

I don't really agree with this. It seem  like ppl DON'T know this at all!!! We were recently invited to a couples bridal shower, and a few of our friends asked us if we were bringing our daughter. Um No. She wasn't on the invitation. AND I'd like to enjoy the shower and the ADULT interaction without running after my kid!!!

I know there are sometimes reasons some one might ASK to bring their child, very last minute. But to just assume it's ok to bring your kid to a shower they're not invited to...not at all okay IMO.

LaComtesse

I had a ladies only bridal shower, and my family is traditional Italian, so the gender division is pretty stark when it comes to these things. Nevertheless, a lot of husbands (particularly of the older women) showed up. My mom took matters into her own hands, declared "No testosterone beyond this point!" and shooed them into the front yard.

NikkiCola

Thank you ladies!! I always considered showers traditionally women, at least for me... I just wanted to make sure things were not changing that much and I was left behind!!!

cherokeemomma87

I dont think it is rude to invite only ladies, on my invites I put that men were invited too because I wanted my DH to be part of the shower and didnt want him to be the only guy there. I think that baby showers are still traditionally women only, and even if they are not it is rude to assume that the whole family is invited. Good Luck!!

kellikb17

I think I'd be less concerned about any of my friends DH's or SO's showing up and more so about them bringing kids. I obviously love kids, but I don't want them at my shower. It's my time to spend with my girl friends before my LO gets here. I live 6 hours away from my family and friends now (navy wife) and it may sound selfish but I want to enjoy this time with them without them being distracted by a crying baby or rowdy toddler. I don't want to sound mean, and as much as I love my friends, they don't really discipline their kids or teach them to behave properly. I don't want people or things knocked over because they wanted to play tag or something, that's all.

I have never understood why people wouldn't get that if their name is the only one on the invitation and makes no mention of bringing a guest, that it's ok to bring their SO or a date. I had this problem at my wedding. One of my best friends returned his response card which said he was RSVPing for 2, when I had only invited him. Had I known he had a b/f I would have definitely addresses the invite to him and a guest. I think problems like these arise simply because many people in our generation (I'm 25) never learned proper etiquette for these types of situations. Most likely, their parents didn't teach them or they never bothered to research the etiquette themselves.

My sister is throwing my baby shower for me and I had to even look it up to make sure that would be acceptable these days because I'd been under the impression that the mommy-to-be and her family members weren't supposed to host. Apparently, times have changed a bit and it's ok, but I still wouldn't let my mom do it. I hope my friends aren't dense and when they get their invitations don't automatically assume that DH's and LO's are invited too.