Ok I am a little confused...(IL Vent) — The Bump

Ok I am a little confused...(IL Vent)

So a few weeks ago MIL asked me to "be careful" with what pictures I post on FB of the babies because apparently some friends/family are "scared" to look at them. One of these said friends is currently pregnant and said that it makes her nervous to see my babies, so I edited my settings so that she can no longer see my updates or photos unless she specifically goes to my profile and clicks on them.

Mind you other then that my settings are set so that only those people who I am friends with can veiw ANYTHING on my page. Friends of Friends, etc can see nothing but my profile pic and name.  Not to mention, a lot of our close family and friends have found comfort in seeing the babies progress, especially those who haven't had a chance to meet them yet.

I just logged on to see that MIL has just taken every.single.picture. of the babies that I uploaded and created her own album on FB titled "OUR BABIES".

I am a little peeved because I do not like the idea that her profile settings are very public and anyone can see all of her photos etc.

I realize in the grand scheme of things my account could be hacked and someone could find out information, but I just don't like the idea of our kids photos being passed around FB, and wouldn't this be the pot calling the kettle black?

Am I over reacting? Should DH mention something to her about this?

TTC #1 since 4/2007... MFI (low motility/low Testosterone) & PCOS IVF #1 August 2010...BFP 1st sono shows TWINS!!!! Due May 23rd 2011 Ruptured @ 21 weeks (Jan 13) Delivered 26 weekers (Blake and Addison) on Valentine's Day... Keeping faith and praying, God has a plan and we just have to learn to follow. Our Blog ... ourvalentinesdaysurprise.blogspot.com Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Re: Ok I am a little confused...(IL Vent)

  • That is odd, given what she had said to you before. But not the first time I've heard something like this happen on FB. I don't think it is unreasonable to ask that she lock down the settings of her account for the album though.
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  • I personally hate other people putting pics of my kids on FB. As for your MIL, I would be annoyed especially since she made a big deal about some people being scared. I would ask for them to be taken down, but I'm a little crazy like that.
  • You are not overreacting at all. She crossed the line and should of asked you in the first place if it was ok. Tell her how you feel, don't keep it in.

  • image njdcgirl:
    That is odd, given what she had said to you before. But not the first time I've heard something like this happen on FB. I don't think it is unreasonable to ask that she lock down the settings of her account for the album though.

    I 100% agree with this. I would ask her to take them down immediately.  




  • I dont think you are overreacting whatsoever. YOUR babies are YOUR babies!  You should be able to post any pics you want to post. Your babies are not scary, they are precious and beautiful!  It makes me so mad that she said that.  If it scares people, they dont have to look it at. Period. Anything is possible and God forbid your pregnant friend had something wrong with her baby, she would have to see it like that too. Plus, she is an adult. If your little babies are strong enough to deal with what they are going through then she should be stong enough to view thier pic of the internet!

    Just because our babies were hooked up to machines and wire and tubes, does not make them scary to look at. If you look beyond all that, you see an innocent, precious child suffering and fighting for thier life. A little miracle.

    I struggled with whether or not to post my NICU pics on facebook but then I thought about it....that is my baby, wires or no wires, scary or not scary, I should be able to show him off no matter. He is the most beautiful, adorable thing I have ever seen. Who wouldnt want to see him? All the other moms get to show thier babies off. I should get to show mine off too.

    I didnt even answer your question about the albums, did I?   I would probably mention to DH if it bothers you. And yes, I think it is the pot calling the kettle black too!

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  • Things like this drive me crazy! I don't like it when other people are posting pictures of my kid on FB. I would definitely ask your dh to talk to her. And as for the other thing, who the eff cares if your pictures scare other people? I got a couple comments like that too when Jack was in the NICU and I wanted to scream. If it offends you, don't look. That was our reality every.single.day.

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  • I waited to post pics on FB for a week or two because DH and I couldnt handle or process negativity. I was so afraid someone would say something about them not being the most beautiful babies they have seen.  My sister posted a picture of Ella the day before her heart surgery with picc lines and iv in her head and all. I was upset at first but then I thought, I cant just share all the "good times". I wanted people to know what I had to see day in and day out.  BUT.... my estranged sister who has spoken to me once in 15 years and has not personally acknowledged that I had children did some weird stuff. She copied and shared my photos albums on FB and titled "her nieces".  She then stole pictures off FB and made a shutterfly book and mailed them to me. We still have not talked at this point. The names were all mispelled and she mis labled pictures of who was who.  It irritated me. They are your babies and you have every right who gets to see them and who doesnt. Although your MIL is being a hypacrit and I would want to tear into her, let DH do it.
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  • I am very strict about it, only daddy and my brother can post pictures, with the condition that no one puts a tag on them (because that makes the photos more available to strangers). I have asked kindly to not tag my baby's pictures.
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  • I agree with everyone else, tell her to make it private or take it down.  Its your right as the mother.

    Also, to the pregnant lady who doesn't want to see things like that, she needs to grow the F up.  What does she do when people tell her horror stories about labor? Plug her ears and say "lalalalalala"? Seriously, that is ridiculous.  My sister has pictures of her girls in frames in her living room, hooked up to everything in NICU, and she is PROUD at what little fighters she has.

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  • image BostonKisses2:

    Wow - that's pretty blunt, huh?  No snark to you JakesBride - I just get so fired up when people whine about other people's FB pics, regardless of what they have up!  ;-)  Anyway, I say you keep posting what you want, and those other people can go sit on a cactus and rotate if they don't like it.  And I hope your MIL takes down the album she created after lifting your pics. 

    I could not have said it any better than the rest of you ladies...I think you nailed it!  And Boston...you made my day with this comment.  :)

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  • I do think she should have asked you when she took the pictures but she IS your kid(s) grandmother so she's excited to show her grandkids off. Would this upset you if it were your mom?

    What I would talk to her about is why she told you to take the pictures off your FB (which Is dumb people are forced to look at pictures on others Facebook page) but then turn around and put up the same pictures on hers.

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