Blended Families

What do you think?

So DH and BM went to court a few months ago regarding summer vacation. The judge ordered that they do a 4-3-3-4 rotation starting the day school lets out, with each parent being able to choose one full week vacation time. DH asked BM what day it would start and she stated in an email today that she has concerns with this schedule, etc. Keeping in mind that all he asked for was two full weeks during the summer and then his regular schedule (every other weekend and every Wednesday night). She refused to work with him then, which is why they had to go to court and basically she isn't happy with the results. What do you do if she continues to play games and not agree to the date that it starts. I know she would be in contempt of court, but how do you ensure that she adheres to it before you have to go back to court...Thanks!

Re: What do you think?

  • I think try to work with her up until the day school lets out, and that day when it's supposed to start, file a show cause motion. She'll be held in contempt. Make sure your lawyer knows what's going on, and is ready to file the minute you give the go-ahead. If she works it out and you don't need to file, then hooray! Otherwise, you'll be ready.
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  • It's hard to say without reading exactly what the CO says, but we try to never ask BM open ended questions. We send her emails saying you have Option A, Option B, Option C, let us know your preference in 7 days or we will be choosing the Option we prefer. She usually responds on the 7th day...

    In your case, can you just send her an email telling her which full week you are choosing, you are sticking to the CO, and let her work around it.? Is it unclear in the CO who starts with the first four days? There's only two options, so tell her if she won't pick, you will. Our CO has a deadline for sending Summer Vacation notification, but there's nothing wrong with giving her reasonable deadlines to make decisions when the CO is unclear.

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  • image nickelbabi:

    It's hard to say without reading exactly what the CO says, but we try to never ask BM open ended questions. We send her emails saying you have Option A, Option B, Option C, let us know your preference in 7 days or we will be choosing the Option we prefer. She usually responds on the 7th day...

    This is also what we do.  We set a deadline and give her options.  We change our rotation in the summer, so I can let you know that we start our "summer rotation" the first Monday after school lets out.  And summer rotation ends on Labor Day. 

    Pick a day that would be an equal rotation in your eyes.  As far as summer vacation goes - pick your week.  Didn't the CO say which parent picks first and when you have to choose by?  Once you have decided what you want send BM an e-mail stating what you want and give her a deadline to respond.  If she responds that she doesn't want to do the new rotation (get it in writing) then tell her you'll file contempt.

  • The CO says that DH picks his full week first and then she can choose hers,but now she is on this kick that despite what the CO says she doesn't feel he new schedule is in SD's best interest and she has "concerns." Yeah, her concern is that she wants DH to have as little time as possible with SD and now it's basically even and it's killing her. It's sad that she continues to try to keep SD away from DH.One day I think it will come back to bite her in the butt! Thanks ladies!! 
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