Does it feel strange to be remarried and having kids? — The Bump
Blended Families

Does it feel strange to be remarried and having kids?

My ex husband and I have two wonderful boys, 7 and almost 10. We divorced over 4 years ago and I've been remarried for just over a year. We are expecting our first together (he has a daughter from previous marriage). When I told my ex I was expecting he gave me this look and I knew just what he was feeling. Am I the only one that feels a little strange about having another man's baby? I'm VERY excited! Don't get me wrong!!! It's just a very strange feeling to be having a baby with someone else. Telling my boys was a little wierd too. My youngest was excited to be taking the baby with him to their dads house when they visit, so explaining that the baby was his sibling BUT not his Dad's baby was hard. I guess that's when the strangeness started. Anyone else feel like this?
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Re: Does it feel strange to be remarried and having kids?

  • I maybe kind of know where you're coming from. My family doesn't have a lot of divorce, and there are no divorces/remarriages with kids involved. So when I was first pregnant with DD, I struggled with that a little.

    Then all the excitement and good things kind of took over, and I didn't really think about it anymore. Now that she's here (and has been for over a year), 99% of the time it all feels very normal to me. Every now and then something strange will kind of hit me, but it fades quickly.

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  • It probably feels a little strange because the children are a bit older & understand better? I am divorced, not remarried (yet) but having a baby with another man. My ex husband doesn't know I'm pregnant, nor do I care for his reaction. My ex husband has two kids with two other women and my son had a difficult time understanding that those were NOT my children.

    Everything will probably settle down once the baby arrives and you guys all get into your own family routine :)

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  • Yes.  It is a strange situation to find yourself in, even though it's a happy one.  I am in almost the exact same situation.  I even feel strange that he has had a child with another woman.  It's almost like you don't know exactly what to feel.  You never start out thinking that you will get a divorce after having two kids and when it happens and you start a new family, it's difficult to find the right balance of feelings.  It's weird sharing feelings and memories from my previous pregnancies and childbirths with my new husband so I don't and I really don't want to hear his either.  It's almost like you want to treat it as a first pregnancy, but you can't!

     LOL, my boys had a difficult time at first understanding why this one's last name won't be their Dad's and my youngest wanted to name it after his Dad!

  • I don't have kids yet, but am trying to conceive. My H has 2 kids from his first marriage. I'm very excited about TTC, but at first felt weird about sharing my excitement with my H - and this is terribly sad to me.

    But there was just something weird about knowing how special these feelings are for me and that he's shared them with someone else. I told him how I felt, and he assured me that it's very much different with me and that he and his X did not talk about things the way we do.

    Hearing his thoughts did help me move beyond those feelings.  Maybe you should talk to your H about the feelings.  


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