So nervous for first appt...reassurance?

Lindsaylovesdogs

I am so so nervous for my first appt (a week from tomorrow)...To the point where I am starting to have a lot of trouble sleeping at night and scary dreams.  It seems like I read everyday on here a heartbreaking story about someone not finding a heartbeat at the appt.

I have not had any spotting or any other indications of possible problems.  But I know that doesn't assure anything. My question is this...I know the statistics for MC in general and they really helped me feel better.  But do any of you know how common these missed MCs are?   I am just starting to feel like they happen to so so so many people. 

And please don't tell me to "try to relax"...I am trying so hard to!! And would do anything to be able to! :-)

rachaelski

I won't tell you to relax, I just had my first appointment where we heard the heartbeat (at 12 weeks). Now I am totally zen. However, will worrying do anything? Actually, it may hurt the baby....high blood pressure is bad! 

It can get pretty overwhelming, especially on these boards. I make myself feel better by thinking, if I have a MC, then there was something wrong with the baby, to the point where it wouldn't be able to survive outside the womb. While it's hard, it's mother nature taking care of things. (Not sure how others would feel about this opinion, but it really appeals to my rational side). 

jennicg27

I'm sorry you are freaking out!  I have no idea how common missed m/c are, but I just wanted to say that I had my first appt 3 weeks ago, and I am still freaking out that something might be wrong.  I saw the baby, heard the heartbeat, and I am still a nervous wreck that there won't be a heartbeat when we go in in 2 weeks for my 12 week appt.  I just wanted to say that a lot of us are probably freaking out, and you probably have nothing to worry about!  I have been having a lot of weird dreams lately.  Last night I dreamt I gave birth to a healthy baby girl, and that actually made me feel a lot better! 

 I hope your first appt goes great, and keep us updated!

waiting4Baby00

I have my next appointment on Tuesday.  I also feel nervous about the appointment...what if ther is no hb, what if the NT scan shows somehting is wrong with the baby, etc.  All I can think is today I am pregnant and everything else is out of my control.

 Hope you feel better.  GL!!

mben1119

Missed miscarriages are very rare. I read somewhere that they make up only 1% of all miscarriages. 

akopec157

I am the same way that you are. Before any appointments i would get extremely worried that something may have gone wrong and it was like I was almost preparing myself for the bad news and how I would handle it. What REALLY helped me is getting my personal heart doppler. their about $50 on ebay and you can hear the heartbeat really early on, even at 8 weeks. I listen to my little one at night and in the morning. Once you hear that, you know everything is good! Look into getting one...

Lindsaylovesdogs

wow only 1% mabenner?  That really makes me feel better.  

@akopec...I got the doppler...it is here...but I am nervous to use it because I heard it is hard to find a HB this early, and if I don't find one, I will flip out!! SO I just stare at the box everyday and get cared and put it away lol.  So you heard the HB at 8 weeks??

haziedaze

The statistics should help you feel better. Most miscarriages happen early on and are called by some chemical pregnancies. You are well out of this stage so that is a relief. It's great you haven't had any symptoms. When I had a blighted ovum I was spotting and it was progressively getting worse. I spotted with this pregnancy too, but it trailed off by 6 weeks. True missed miscarriage are rare, as the PP stated. 

The bottom line is that the statistics ARE on your side, but as someone who has been on the other side of those statistics that only helps somewhat. It is totally normal to be nervous for your appt. I was a mess. My doppler is helping a lot and I found the hb at 9w2d. Good luck with your appt. I'm sure everything will be just fine, but miscarriages happen, they are devastating, but as women we are strong enough to survive them and pull through. ((HUGS))

Cranang

I had my first u/s at 8 weeks.  Was petrified before I went.  When I saw it up there on the screen and they told me the heart rate, I let all of my pent up stress out and bawled like a little baby.  Then last week, I went for my NT scan...I didn't sleep for almost a week, I was throwing up worse than usual for 3 days...I didn't handle it well.  But I went in and everything was PERFECT.  I made a deal with myself and DH to NOT put myself and the baby through this every time.  I just have to let it go, and if something terrible happens, then I will have to deal with it.  But the stress is NOT healthy.  So I've tried to adopt a "zen philosophy"...I'm trying to not buy a doppler either, because I know I'd drive myself crazy with it!

Good luck, just keep positive thoughts, and think of all of the statistics you've already beaten with this pregnancy!

Lindsaylovesdogs

I finally found this on the parenting weekly website:

Approximately 1 percent of pregnancies result in missed miscarriage, which usually occur due to chromosomal abnormalities of the fetus, rather than anything the mother did or didn't do. However, if a woman has more than three spontaneous abortions she should see a fertility specialist to ensure there is not some underlying cause. 

Good to know, I guess it is hard to have a realistic idea of percentages on this board, because there are so many members there are so many experiences shared.