Single and considering TTC???

sundevil31rn

So, I am new to all this. I got divorced about 3 years ago, from my drunk EX. Had TTC with no luck, PCOS and all.. Now I am almost 35, have my life going pretty well most days and think this is as good of a time as any to try.

So, what I am asking is, has anyone done this? I mean, i am sure some have. How has it gone for them? Is single parenting good/bad/indifferent? What can I expect? Looking for advice, hints, commentary, etc..

Thanks!!!

Temp552270562505132

single parenting is very difficult sometimes- but if you have enough money- you'll be fine.

you'll want help - so a nanny would be best- for when you work or need to have some time for yourself.  and also, you want to be financially prepared for whatever.

that being said, i say go for it.  yeah it's tiring, but if you have the help you'll be fine.  and being a mom is one of the most rewarding things you can do (in my opinion).   

warriormomerin

I'll be honest. I loathe being a single parent. It's probably because I didn't plan for it to be this way and because I've experienced what it's like to have 50/50 parenting relationship. However, I'm the only parent to two children and I often feel outnumbered and unable to meet both of their needs 100% of the time. Perhaps I wouldn't dislike it so much if I knew going in that I'd be by myself and had never experienced anything else.

As long as you can financially support a child, have a great support system around you and want to be a parent for the right reasons (e.g., not because you want someone to love you) then you should go for it.

dimake

warrior*mom:

I'll be honest. I loathe being a single parent. It's probably because I didn't plan for it to be this way and because I've experienced what it's like to have 50/50 parenting relationship. However, I'm the only parent to two children and I often feel outnumbered and unable to meet both of their needs 100% of the time. Perhaps I wouldn't dislike it so much if I knew going in that I'd be by myself and had never experienced anything else.

This is pretty much it for me too...  I don't think I would have chosen to do this on my own.

julia0402

I actually prefer being a single parent but then again my XH was often gone and not very involved when we were married, so it's pretty similar as far as the day-to-day stuff goes.  I also did choose to be a single parent (I left him).  However, my daughter was about a year and a half old at the time, and I think that going it completely alone from the very beginning would be much harder, because the newborn phase is so tough.

Honestly, overall... given the choice between being a single mom and not ever being a mom at all, I'd choose single mom hands down.  It's so worth it.  And I really do love my life.

 

Meliss227

I left my son's father when I was 4 months pregnant so I pretty much chose to be a single mom. I absolutely love being a mom and can't imagine my life without my son.

I have a really good support system. My family and friends will pretty much help with anything. When my son was born I was living at my sister's which made things much easier. I'm not sure how I would have handled it if I would have been completely alone from the beginning instead of when he was 6 months.

Honestly, the worst part of being a single mom is having to deal with my son's father. I would be much happier if I didn't have to deal with him and it was just me and my son.

So if you can do it on your own I say go for it. You will be able to make all of the decisions, never have to worry about another person showing up when they are supposed to, you will never have to share holidays or weekends and you know there would never be a fight in front of your child with their father.

Good Luck with you decision.  

Watergirl21

It's funny that you ask this question. How would you go about getting prego on your own?   How does that work?

 I am married with one LO, but I am thinking of seperating with H. The thing is I am 35 I and I want more kids... so I was wondering if I should/could try to have a baby on my own.  I know I could do it because I pretty much look after LO all on my own.  The biggest pain has been my H and I do not look forward to having to deal with custody, visitation is we seperate.  So I think from the mom's perspective having a baby on your own is ideal.  The only think I wonder about is the lack of a father in the childs life and how that impacts them.

 

sundevil31rn

I'm actually considering IUI with donor sperm.. It is amazing what you can buy online! Hahah!! My biggest concern is my job as I am a nurse, and work on call. Obviously, I would be able to pick up as many extra call shifts, but I am concerned about what to do when I get called in for an emergent surgery at 3am! I have been talking to a few of the single moms I know, and getting their opinions. This is not something I would try to do for at least 6 months or so.. So I guess I have time to figure a few things out! Just wanted to see what other peoples opinions were! Thanks!!!
~C