My vow...

AlishaMay

OMG!!!  My friend came over to hang out today with her 5 year old son, and he is such a terror!!!  For example, I offered to make lunch, and gave him a couple of choices of things that I already knew he already liked.  He refused them all and said that he wanted pizza.  I explained that I didn't have any pizza, and that wasn't one of the choices, and asked him which of the choices he thought he'd like instead.  The kid threw a holy fit, which I was prepared to ignore - but his mom said that it was no big deal and we could just order pizza.  Whatever, not my kid...so she orders the pizza and cuts it up for him, and he takes 2 bites and says he's done.  She told him that he couldn't leave the table until he'd finished.  So he threw it on the floor, and said, "there, it fell on the floor, so now I can't eat it anymore."  and she just shrugged her shoulders and told him to clean it up (which he didn't do).  I'm not kidding you when I say that I looked over at my 11 month old babies in their high chairs, and they looked appalled!  This is just one example of the terror that he spread all over my house, dog, couch, and yard today.

I am making a vow, right here and now, with all of you as my witnesses, that I will not overindulge my children, nor will I let them get away with murder.  Time outs can happen anywhere, and if they cannot behave away from the house, they they will not be allowed to partake in fun outings.  

 

amanda31H

Holy sh$t.  So far, my friends who have toddlers rule with an iron fist, so I have a lot to look up to!!!  I PRAY none of my friends fall into that trap and myself included!  YIKES!!!!

SpinningJess

Oh man...oh man...oh...man.  No WAY will my children EVER get away with acting like that!!  She's obviously raising him in an environment where she tries to be firm but gives in every time, thus teaching him that all he has to do is be a total brat for him to get whatever his little heart desires.

I'll go ahead and take this pledge right along with you girl!  I have witnessed both good and bad parenting and the results thereof, and I'm not afraid to lay down a consequence and keep to my word, even if it means having to leave something that I want to do (like dinner with friends or something) just to make it clear who is in charge.

AlishaMay

I hate to say that they've been our "good" bad example from day one. 

She constantly rocked her son to sleep and would go in if he made the slightest peep in his sleep to rock him back to sleep.  No kidding, to this day, he has yet to sleep through the night, and has never stayed in his room for the whole night.  Even after his dentist said that his continued pacifier usage was ruining his teeth, she still lets him have it because he can't fall asleep without it.  He has horrible behavior issues and they want him to be medicated because they think he's ADHD.  Their doctor said that since the misbehavior is only happening at home, and not at day care or at school, that it's a parenting issue, and not a behavioral disorder.  They're seeking a second opinion. 

Overall, I think he's a great kid, who's very bright and loving, but is yearning for someone to set him some limits.

SpinningJess

They may not be aware of it, but children crave structure and limits.  I'm so glad I waited to have kids, I know I'm a better parent because if it.  A crying baby that could be easily rocked to sleep is tempting when you're tired, and 10 years ago I probably would have given in.  Not now.  If I'm not gonna sleep, then at least it will be in the process of my LO figuring out how to self soothe and fall asleep on his own, in HIS bed.  Might have taken us 4 nights or so of letting him CIO, but once we did that (when I stopped the nightime nursing) he has STTN with no problems, other than when he's sick.

And, if he doesn't eat his dinner, then well bummer....guess you're gonna be hungry LOL  (I'd never starve my kid, but won't cook multiple meals just because someone is being picky)

Yeah, I have officially turned into my mom hahaha

2shihtzus

I totally agree with all of this and we want to be the same way with our boys (as you, not your friend!).  We want our boys to know that when we say something, we mean it and we're not going to give in.  Our neighborhood is full of old people and we were so excited when we found a couple around our age to hang out with.  Unfortunately, their son is also a terror and they let him do whatever and never discipline him for anything.  It sucks because we like them but we don't even want to hang out with them because he's such a nightmare.  He destroys our house and terrorizes our dogs to the point where I have to lock our dogs up in our bedroom when they come over because the kid just won't leave them alone.  His parents say, "oh it's ok - just let your dogs bite him and he'll learn his lesson."  Um yeah thanks but I don't think I'm going to let my dogs bite a child and also it's not fair to my dogs to let them be treated like that.  My dogs are great with kids and never bite but this kid is so violent with them that I think one of them would bite him if I didn't remove them from the situation.

I can't stand when parents aren't consistent and don't see that they are being played by ther kids.  Sure, every child has a bad day where they don't behave but they need to know they will have consequences for that.

AlishaMay

Don't get me wrong, I have no issue with rocking a newborn to sleep, but it's a whole other issue when your 5 yo is walking into your room at 2am, with his pacifier, asking you in proper English to be rocked back to sleep....on a nightly basis.

I totally agree with you Jess - I'm glad that I'm an older parent, who has seen enough things - both good and bad, to make decisions about how I want to raise my children, rather than reacting to situations in the moment.  

I've been listening to the Love and Logic CD's, and I sent her home with a copy, telling her it had some pretty funny parenting stories.  Hopefully she'll get something about setting limits and enforcing consequences out of it because her son is screaming for it!

AlishaMay

2shihtzus:

I totally agree with all of this and we want to be the same way with our boys (as you, not your friend!).  We want our boys to know that when we say something, we mean it and we're not going to give in.  Our neighborhood is full of old people and we were so excited when we found a couple around our age to hang out with.  Unfortunately, their son is also a terror and they let him do whatever and never discipline him for anything.  It sucks because we like them but we don't even want to hang out with them because he's such a nightmare.  He destroys our house and terrorizes our dogs to the point where I have to lock our dogs up in our bedroom when they come over because the kid just won't leave them alone.  His parents say, "oh it's ok - just let your dogs bite him and he'll learn his lesson."  Um yeah thanks but I don't think I'm going to let my dogs bite a child and also it's not fair to my dogs to let them be treated like that.  My dogs are great with kids and never bite but this kid is so violent with them that I think one of them would bite him if I didn't remove them from the situation.

I can't stand when parents aren't consistent and don't see that they are being played by ther kids.  Sure, every child has a bad day where they don't behave but they need to know they will have consequences for that.

That's amazing!  They'd rather their children be harmed than enforce consequences that may not make their child happy?  

MamaCat21

Ughhh I would have kicked them out of my house lol.

SpinningJess

AlishaMay:

2shihtzus:

I totally agree with all of this and we want to be the same way with our boys (as you, not your friend!).  We want our boys to know that when we say something, we mean it and we're not going to give in.  Our neighborhood is full of old people and we were so excited when we found a couple around our age to hang out with.  Unfortunately, their son is also a terror and they let him do whatever and never discipline him for anything.  It sucks because we like them but we don't even want to hang out with them because he's such a nightmare.  He destroys our house and terrorizes our dogs to the point where I have to lock our dogs up in our bedroom when they come over because the kid just won't leave them alone.  His parents say, "oh it's ok - just let your dogs bite him and he'll learn his lesson."  Um yeah thanks but I don't think I'm going to let my dogs bite a child and also it's not fair to my dogs to let them be treated like that.  My dogs are great with kids and never bite but this kid is so violent with them that I think one of them would bite him if I didn't remove them from the situation.

I can't stand when parents aren't consistent and don't see that they are being played by ther kids.  Sure, every child has a bad day where they don't behave but they need to know they will have consequences for that.

That's amazing!  They'd rather their children be harmed than enforce consequences that may not make their child happy?  

I sell insurance and can't get over one thing.....that they'd probably sue the britches off of you if their child was bitten by your dog and in a dog bite situation the legal ramifications to you could FAR exceed the liability coverage you have on your homeowner's coverage.  I don't think the courts are too lenient when it comes to dog bite situations, even when the child has terrorized the poor pooch.    It's just rude and disrespectful of them to even go there!

hunt2005

I have two neighbors like this. Love them and their kids to death, but whenever they're at my house it's like a tornado swept through. And the parents leave saying "sorry about the mess!" and laughing it off!! I'm actually quite glad I'm pregnant because I have a good excuse to not host play dates anymore!

And when my son hits or does something inappropriate they always say "My child NEVER hits." Ummm, yeah. That's where my son learned it from, lady!  So frustrating. In both of these situations, though, it's the youngest child of the family, like maybe they're afraid if they discipline they'll lose their baby boy forever or something??

amanda31H

AlishaMay:

Don't get me wrong, I have no issue with rocking a newborn to sleep, but it's a whole other issue when your 5 yo is walking into your room at 2am, with his pacifier, asking you in proper English to be rocked back to sleep....on a nightly basis.

I totally agree with you Jess - I'm glad that I'm an older parent, who has seen enough things - both good and bad, to make decisions about how I want to raise my children, rather than reacting to situations in the moment.  

I've been listening to the Love and Logic CD's, and I sent her home with a copy, telling her it had some pretty funny parenting stories.  Hopefully she'll get something about setting limits and enforcing consequences out of it because her son is screaming for it!

I literally LOLd at that!!!!

google123

This is kind of off-topic, but I can't believe people actually feed their kids pizza and junk and processed foods for dinner.  Whatever happened to home cooked meals with nutritional value, veggies and proper meats.  The worst, is literally take-out pizza.  This is just crazy. 

Haven1

AlishaMay:

  I'm not kidding you when I say that I looked over at my 11 month old babies in their high chairs, and they looked appalled! 

Bwah! 

I think another benefit of having twins is you set parameters because you HAVE to set parameters.  You self-sooth in this house because mommy only has one lap.

MADforever2009

amanda31H:

AlishaMay:

Don't get me wrong, I have no issue with rocking a newborn to sleep, but it's a whole other issue when your 5 yo is walking into your room at 2am, with his pacifier, asking you in proper English to be rocked back to sleep....on a nightly basis.

I totally agree with you Jess - I'm glad that I'm an older parent, who has seen enough things - both good and bad, to make decisions about how I want to raise my children, rather than reacting to situations in the moment.  

I've been listening to the Love and Logic CD's, and I sent her home with a copy, telling her it had some pretty funny parenting stories.  Hopefully she'll get something about setting limits and enforcing consequences out of it because her son is screaming for it!

I literally LOLd at that!!!!

omg...my 3 yr old nephew asks my sister to be rocky rockied to sleep...

AlishaMay

Haven1:

AlishaMay:

  I'm not kidding you when I say that I looked over at my 11 month old babies in their high chairs, and they looked appalled! 

Bwah! 

I think another benefit of having twins is you set parameters because you HAVE to set parameters.  You self-sooth in this house because mommy only has one lap.

This!  All of this!  Couldn't have said it better myself - you nailed it!

 

hunt2005

Wow, so I didn't think it could get much worse. Went to an Egg hunt today, and it was PACKED, so they set a limit of 10 eggs per child. In the 3-5yr old area parents were going and helping their kids, which I understand, but many were only getting 4 or 5 eggs max (some kids still didn't get ANY). I see a dad with two kids walk past with their baskets FULL (and they were BIG baskets). I made a comment in case he hadn't heard. He responded "Yeah, I heard, but what can I do?" UMMM, PARENT your child?!?! There were some good parents there helping their kids count their eggs and give away any extras to those without enough, but really? You don't want to make your kid cry by making them follow the rules? No wonder teachers have so many issues in the classroom.