I haven't told anyone about this yet and I need to get it out of my chest and vent so here goes. If you are my FB friend, don't mention it, I have not told my family.
We are getting divorced. We haven't filed yet but will do so in the next couple of weeks. I'll be moving out soon as it's just too awkward living in the same house. It's not that we don't get along, it's that we get along too well and there is just no room for either one of us too really grief, if you will, because it still feels like nothing has changed (since we live together, etc).
We are getting divorced simply because we just grew apart and for a long time our relationship has been more like roommates or even brother/sister. What is so heart wrenching for both of us that we feel we losing our best friend. I can't imagine living without him because he really is my rock but the romantic love just isn't there. Needless to say, there is no animosity whatsoever, no fighting, no nastiness, nothing. It's very amicable but it doesn't hurt any less.
I'm devastated and disappointed, mostly because he's such a great dad, a great companion and a great person. However, we both realize this is the best for both us and this way we end it on a good note without turning divorce into a nightmare and screwing up our kid.
Carrying on as a single mother terrifies me. I've always been very independent but the thought of being a single mom just paralyzes me. Not just being a single mom, but being single STUDENT mom. Again, I'm lucking that Matt will still be around and very, very involved but I'm still terrified.
I was the one that actually brought up the bright pink elephant in the room as we had both been living with our heads buried in the sand . Right now I"m in the "What the f^ck have I done?!?!?!" stage and having seconds thoughts. It's one of those "too good to leave, too bad too stay" situations. I don't know where I"m going with this, I just wanted to vent a bit because I haven't told anyone and there's only so much comfort the two of us can give each other.
Re: Everything comes to an end at some point
I'm sorry, June. Even if you know it's the right thing to do, I'm sure it's still a very difficult decision.
{{hugs}}
Photo courtesy of www.yaporiginals.com
It's Beshert
BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks
RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!
Dx: LPD
Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509
EDD: 05/23/2013
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
June, it makes me so sad to read this! My heart is just breaking for you. The way you are hurting the and way you write that he is hurting also makes me wonder if there is a spark of romantic love hiding somewhere but it does also sound like you guys would have found it by now if it were.
The important thing is that you guys are doing this in an amicable and healthy way for your son. And in a way that is right for the both of you as individuals and friends. I wish you the best of luck. My heart goes out to you guys.
ox,
Mel
::hugs::
June - I'm so, so sorry you're going through this. It breaks my heart that you've had to make this incredibly difficult decision, No one wants to find themselves in this situation, but the truth it that it could happen to anyone. I'm wishing you tons of strength and grace to get through this with your head held high. Please let us know if you need anything at all.
XOXO
I agree w/both ladies....it is definitely worth a try to salvage your marriage and family. It is a tough time, been through a divorce myself, but if things are not as bad as you say they are, maybe you can reconnect and find that spark/love/connection that once brought you together in the first place. Good luck.
Konstantino
Maximo
FOLLOW ME ON PINTEREST https://pinterest.com/raffaella1030/
I'm so sorry, June. I'm on this boat too. If this aren't "bad" then maybe seeing a marriage counselor or taen steps to hopefully get that spark back? I know it really easy to let that happen in some cases. Alexis and I have been there, that whole "roomate" feeling. But, we worked it out and then we got married. I'm sure if it's gotten to this point then you've gone over all these options. Either way, I'm sure you are both going to do what's best for yourselves and your son. We are all here for you whenever you need us. ::hugs::
CP 7.19.08
Dx with PCOS 3.27.09
HSG 7.15.09 = All clear
8.09 & 9.09(re-try) IUI #1/2 - Clomid 100mg Follistim 150iu Ovidrel=cancelled due to cysts
10.09 IUI #1/2 - Clomid 100mg Follistim 150iu Ovidrel Crinone 8%=BFP!
22mm Follie / 60mil & 48mil post wash counts Beta #1 (14dpiui)= 102 Beta #2 (18dpiui)= 714 12.3.09 HB 135bpm
Our baby boy was born on 7.8.10 @ 38 weeks 2 days! 2:17pm 6lbs 8oz 20" long
HSG 2.2013 - IUI 1/2, 3/4 = BFN - Took 4 month forced break
I am sorry you are going through this June but what you just said to me, menas you are not done! The love connection is definitly something that can come back but it takes alot alot alot of work. but is it worth it? I totally think so. A counselor wouldnt be a bad idea. I wouldnt give up on both of you quit yet but whatever you decide to do, I know you will get through it. xoxoxo
So sorry to read this June, big hugs to you and hope everything can work itself in whichever direction you decide to go.
Hugs
Nat
Camryn Grace ~ July 6th, 2009 ~ 7lbs 9oz, 20.5"
Brayden Richard Drew ~ December 20, 2010~7lbs 9oz, 20"
My Blog: SIREN.ORG!