Thought I'd share - Thoughts on body/self-image

AnyaBella

Body image has really been on my mind since having G and I wrote down some of my thoughts in my blog. Just thought I'd share since I figured a lot people might be able to relate.

https://bedrestandbeyond.blogspot.com/2011/04/chasing-victoria-and-her-secret.html

altreu

Thanks so much for sharing this! I can absolutely relate to your blog, I feel like I could have written it myself. I, too, have been struggling with self-image issues. I know it's not as bad as I think, but I can't seem to see anything but my faults. Hopefully some of that will start to fade soon...

AnyaBella

altreu:

Thanks so much for sharing this! I can absolutely relate to your blog, I feel like I could have written it myself. I, too, have been struggling with self-image issues. I know it's not as bad as I think, but I can't seem to see anything but my faults. Hopefully some of that will start to fade soon...

This is definitely how I feel. Like the rational part of me knows what I really look like, but then there's this terrible part of me that just can't stop picking at my flaws. It suddenly just struck me the other day as very sad that I do this. Definitely not a trait I want to pass on to my children.

 

ZoeMay06

So so true, thank you for that. I've never been in love with my body (except when I was pregnant), but i've definitely been more down on myself since having Kyva. Still looking a few months pregnant 2 years after having her and needing to lose 30+ pounds doesn't help, either. And I often feel trapped in it because I just don't see how I could squeeze regular workouts into my life (and I'm not willing to sacrifice the little sleep I get to do it early in the morning).

I know you're not looking for compliments, but I have to tell you that I've always thought you were absolutely stunning.

soon2Bkranz

Thanks for sharing...you are so not alone

mandy0505

Totally understand where you are coming from. I wish I could enjoy my pregnancy rather than stressing about the weight gain. Ugh, to be pre-baby skinny again *sigh*

AnyaBella

Thought I'd share what my SIL had to say about it on FB:

"I think the answer to your question is: when we stop looking at ads, TV shows, magazines, and movies in which all the women( or at least all the ones we're supposed to identify with) are faked. We're a highly visual species, and all the sel...f-awareness, modern feminist thinking, and therapy in the world can't compete with the fact that those images get indelibly planted in our brains. As sad as it is, I think the truth is that for people like you and me who grew up looking at this stuff since before we were processing language, we will probably NEVER be able to see ourselves fairly every day, like you say. I didn't even have a TV as a kid, but I still absorbed the same body image problems from magazines, movies, and everything else. Girls who are raised with less exposure to that stuff, might have a chance."

 

I definitely agree with this. There is a part of me though that enjoys pop culture. I enjoy fashion and "looking good" I'm just sad about what the definition of "looking good" is or maybe how narrow the definition is. I wish that my first instinct when looking at a picture of myself wasn't to find the things that are "wrong" with me but to enjoy what everyone else sees in me. It isn't even all about my body. Before I got pregnant I was considered slightly under weight. I was skinny. But I still found flaws to pick apart (crooked tooth, bad skin, etc.). After giving birth I've just found new things to pick on. I don't want to be one of those moms that refuses to be in pictures with their kids because they hate how they look. That is just so sad to me.

AnyaBella

ZoeMay06:

So so true, thank you for that. I've never been in love with my body (except when I was pregnant), but i've definitely been more down on myself since having Kyva. Still looking a few months pregnant 2 years after having her and needing to lose 30+ pounds doesn't help, either. And I often feel trapped in it because I just don't see how I could squeeze regular workouts into my life (and I'm not willing to sacrifice the little sleep I get to do it early in the morning).

I know you're not looking for compliments, but I have to tell you that I've always thought you were absolutely stunning.

Thank you!

TheMutleys

I understand this on so many levels.  I don't think that I've ever had a healthy body image.  I've had times that were better than others.  There are moments that I've felt truly beautiful.  But even when I was 'thin,' I could find something to pick apart.  I think that part of the culture of women is to find something to tear yourself down about.  If you do think that you look good, then you are conceited, not confident.  Women don't sit around and talk about how great they look.  They sit around and find some sort of camaraderie in talking about how fat their a$$es are.  And then everyone chimes in by telling each other that they look great and they have no idea what the woman who was tearing herself down is talking about.  It is sick and twisted... and I know that I participate in it.  I am trying to make a conscious effort to stop the cycle for myself.         

My pet peeve is when someone says "Well, you look great for just having a baby."  I don't want that qualifier.  I just want to look great.  Lately, I've been trying to focus on being healthy.  I'm glad that we had a son first because I know that I need to work on these body image issues before we have a girl.  I really do not want to pass any of this crap on to our daughter(s.)