If your LO has food allergies, how do you handle parties outside of your home?

lmdbww

DD and I are going to a first birthday party for my cousin's son in a few weeks. DD is on a full nut free diet.

I know right off the bat that she can't have the cake since it will be ordered from a bakery. The other food I think will be brought by relatives but I have no idea what will be in most of it, kwim?

How do you handle situations like this? Especially the cake, I feel sad for her that she can't have it...  Is it odd/rude to bring my own?

ghm

No, it's not rude. Does the host know that you guys have nut allergies? I make sure I always know if someone has allergies so that I can have food for them, including dessert. My personal opinion is that a host should always try to provide for everyone, within reason of course, but I don't know that it's a common opinion! Definitely bring her her own cupcake or something. We have a local bakery that does allergy-friendly cupcakes, so we bought those for the kids with special diets last time. If you could find one of those, you could just get one cupcake for her. I'd assume there will be some fruit or cheese cubes or something that she could eat.

jessicaclare

ghm:

No, it's not rude. Does the host know that you guys have nut allergies? I make sure I always know if someone has allergies so that I can have food for them, including dessert. My personal opinion is that a host should always try to provide for everyone, within reason of course, but I don't know that it's a common opinion! Definitely bring her her own cupcake or something. We have a local bakery that does allergy-friendly cupcakes, so we bought those for the kids with special diets last time. If you could find one of those, you could just get one cupcake for her. I'd assume there will be some fruit or cheese cubes or something that she could eat.

This, exactly. I don't think its rude at all to bring your own food for her.

DandelionMom

I let the host know that DD will bring her own food.  I try to send something similar to the menu and I always send a cupcake (I keep unfrosted ones in my freezer so I always have one ready). 

justEK

If you have a walmart by you, they usually have cupcakes that are nut-free and were not processed on equipment with nuts. We have to get those for parties at school.

If it were me, I'd pack her a lunch just so you know you're safe. I think the host should make sure there is something there, but I also feel like she would feel so horrible if she made a mistake and caused your DD to have a reaction. 

honeybearsgirl

DS, 4, has a peanut allergy.

We always (unless it is at a place where we know it's nut free) pack him a separate lunch bag that includes food and some sort of safe treat - cookies, cake, cupcake, etc. He is fine with it because it's all he knows - sometimes the other kids want what he has, LOL.

I always bring it up to the host. Most apologize, though that's silly because many parties we go to are for kids and parents I don't know because they are preschool friends.

EastCoastBride

DS has celiac.  We pretty much take his food w/ us.  Just this past weekend we went to a b-day party.  I didn't even think to have a cupcake for him, but honestly - at his age, it wasn't on his radar so it wasn't a big deal.

But in the future, as he gets older, I'm going to have to be more prepared for those situaitons.

ANd a million times over- it's not rude to bring food.  Your child has an allergy.  If anyone had issue w/ you bringing food, then shame on them - unless they specifically provide options knowing what your issue is.

jlw2505

Not rude at all and I think parents totally get the allergy thing at this point.  There are a few kids in my older DD's class this year and they always bring their own food to the parties or the kids just know that they won't be able to eat and are fine with it.  (the cake only parties, the kids tend to not eat but the meal ones, they bring their own).  I know my DD classroom keeps some allergy friendly foods in the room (popsicles) for the kids to have when others bring in treats.

J&A2008

One of my kid's friends has allergies: nuts, dairy, rice, etc.  His parents are great about sending snacks/treats where ever he's going.  School parties, scouts, b-day parties, he comes with his containers of food.  His dad is a chef, so his stuff always looks delish.

I don't think anyone has ever been offended - most people are happy and relieved.  He still gets his treats, and no one feels left out.

acppa

Ditto PPs.  I either take food for DS (he's never been to a party without us) or feed him before we go.  It's not rude at all to bring your own food/cake.  Anyone that would have an issue with it is an a$$.  

We once went to a wedding where we weren't sure if other people would give DS food (cookies from the cookie table) so I put a sticker on the front and back of his shirt saying he had a severe nut allergy and please don't give him food.   

JOEBunny

Not rude at all, in fact I would tell them in advance that you plan to do so, so they don't go to the end of the earth to accomidate you.  My friends two kids are combined allergic to everything from seasame to milk and back to soy and a lot in between.  They can really only eat meat, fruits, veggies, and some types of "rare" flour (rice and a couple I have never heard of).  She always brings food for them.  If we are going on a playdate together, I try to just bring dried fruit and rice chex, since they can eat those, but she doesn't expect people to do that.  There is such a range with allergies, some kids can't be in the same room with whatever they are allergic too, some just can't eat them in large amounts, but can have traces or peanut oil, but not the nut.  I prefer my guest be clear on what I need to do to help their child not have a reaction. 

Mrs Manners

Ds is allergic to soy which is any any bakery goods or icing. I always take a cupcake for him to birthday parties and sometimes a few other things (ie. Fruit and cheese). I also take his own water thermos and our own juice box because he can't have grapes (they make his eczema flare up) and grapes are in all types of juice. Every host and venue we've ever been to has been completely understanding.