mom visiting and staying with us ?(longish)

kenyakeetah

to those of you with out of town/country family a question

My mum will be visiting from the Uk and will be staying for 2 weeks and bunking on our couch. I told DH today and he seemed on the fence about it. He will be taking the first month off and doesn't want anyone intruding on our family time. (this is our first) however on the flip side it will be great to have someone with us that can help out give advice and cook, clean while we perhaps take some needed sleep.

I feel kind of the same way but think we will like her being there once she is here.I think it just seems overwhelming at the moment. I don't believe she will be pushy and let us do what we want to do.

anyone have a simular thing or found a way to get round it.

our original plan has been to tell her when we are in labour and when he arrives and she was going to book a ticket out, which could have her here within 12 -24 hours. However now we are thinking maybe we will tell her when we are home we will call and she can then book her flight which will give us a day or so of adjusting.......

thoughts

MommaA117

I think the day or so of adjusting will be nice.

My Mom will probably stay with us. DH thought I was crazy in the beginning when I said I wanted it to be just us, telling me I was anti-social. lol. So now I mentioned to him that my Mom will be staying with us and he says "well I'm going to be off work"....umm okay. Are you ever satisfied DH? Then when I told him we would be able to sleep because of this he was all for it! However, she can come and go as she pleases because she lives close by.

kimbo1216

I'd want my mom there ASAP!  But that's just me.  I'm very close with my mom.  So close that I want her in the delivery room with us. 

Personally, I think you need to do what's best for y'all.  But you said she'd only be there for 2 weeks.  Your husband will be off a month.  Plus, she lives half way across the world.  It's not like she'll be barging in all the time.  You and your husband will get plenty of time with the LO.  I wouldn't stress over the first few weeks or even the first few hours.  

ashleah83

My in-laws are coming from Sri Lanka exact dates and all TBD but we are thinking they will be here before and following delivery and for at least a month, if not longer. I was very nervous about this but my own Dad actually scolded me and said I should be very grateful to have their help and that we'll need it.

I trust my Dad's advice and also he pointed out that I can just communicate to them what I'm feeling/need. For example, if at the beginning I want MH and I to take care of baby alone, I just need to tell them that.  Oh right. Ha I forgot it is that easy

tulipblossom

My Mom is coming from out of state and she will be arriving June 9th (I am due June 4th) and she is staying for 12 days I believe. We decided it would be better for everyone if she set her dates in advance for better ticket prices and so she could make plan to see her friends and other members of the family that live a few hours away while she is here as well. I didn't personally like the idea of calling and having her try rush over in a sense. Seems easier on everyone to know what days she will be here.

kenyakeetah

yeah we tried to see if she wanted to set dates but she said their is no point until she knows the baby is here. I know we will enjoy having her help out and she will listen and not take offense if we ask her to step back at any time. I think we just got a little overwhelmed all of a sudden and with DH being on the defensive made me question.

Thanks for all the input everyone!

KittahMama

My mom is coming from 2 hours away to watch my daughter, otherwise it would be just DH and I probably for a week.  His family is in the UK though and they are all coming over for the Christening (actually a Catholic baptism) in September.  That means I will have his dad, mum, two sisters (and their significant others) and his brother and sister in law all over when I am 8 weeks post partum.  I really hope they all come out in one week because last year when I had DD- I had a week of his parents then his one sister came over and overlapped the weekend with the parents and we had her all the next week.  It really wore me out having house guests for two weeks.

But, having YOUR mom is different and I get that.  My mom is great about cooking/cleaning/laundry and helping.  She will hold the baby and watch my daughter so I can just have a shower.  His mother would probably do the same thing but it is much harder for her to plan to come over.

As much as your DH thinks he wants just alone family time- you are so exhausted there isn't much good quality time with DH.  Everything revolves around the LO for the first few weeks and it realyl does exhaust you both.  He will be appreciative if she is the helpful mum type.  IF SHE ISN'T and she just wants to come over and be grandma and will want you guys to feed/entertain her then tell her to wait and come over two weeks after the baby.  It's just TOO MUCH STRESS!

Best of luck!