Need ways for my husband to get a glimpse of what it's like to be pregnant

jsong

Where can I rent a pregnancy body suit?  Or give me ideas on what I can do so that my husband can get a small glimpse of what life is like being pregnant.

I'm not here to bash my husband but I must say, he is not the most sympathetic person I know.  Admittedly, I had a very difficult pregnancy so, I know my situation isn't the norm which I would think he should have even greater sympathy or appreciation for what I've gone through.  I am a do-it-all kind of person so, when I was on bedrest, hooked up to IV and med pump and throwing up ALL DAY LONG and in the hospital, I couldn't do anything.  Yet, he still doesn't get how difficult it has been.  I don't complain about my symptoms to him unless its really bad (I'm sure he would disagree and say I complain all the time).  When I can't physically do something, he doesn't get it.  There's nothing you can compare to the physical, emotional, mental and hormonal changes that a women goes through but I wish he could experience some of what we go through. 

I'm not taking away from the fact that I get to experience the baby inside of me and feel him and everything.  I just want to show him that I do have limitations now that I am pregnant.

(I think it's great that some women LOVE being pregnant but that's just not me. I love the baby, just not the pregnancy part.)

11kacey

I am so sorry you are going through this. I have the opposite issue: my husband is very protective of me now. I told him that if he doesn't feel like I am doing something I should, he needs to come up with another excuse other than "you are pregnant".

If he can say it is a safety issue in general or say he wants to be 'the man' and do it, great.. I'll take it. But, I don't want to hear 'you shouldn't do that, you're pregnant'. 

I hope you find a pregnant belly for your husband to wear.. I truly never understood the not being able to bend over or pick something up off the floor until recently. Thank goodness no one at work saw me fall from a squat to my bottom.. or my pants fall down as I tried to get myself up from the floor.  

mmaxwell818

I know how you're feeling but I have no advice. I keep telling DH I wish you could experience this for just an hour...then maybe you'd get it! It's esp hard because when I was pregnant with DS is was completely different. I never had a single thing to complain about. It was such an easy pregnancy, even with me being hospitalized with pre-term labor. I worked up til the day he was born, but I also didn't have a toddler to run after and was able to sleep in and be lazy. Not this time. I am in so much pain, I still am getting sick. I mean 7 months of throwing up almost everyday?!? It all sucks. And then he gets mad when I get home from work at 1030-11 and don't want to sit on the couch and watch him play Call of Duty but want to go to bed! I feel like I'm always complaining but I feel like I have to in order for him to maybe understand a little. But it doesn't matter and then I just feel like this annoying person who complains all the time! I've stopped telling him I get sick everyday. He only knows of the times I get sick when he's actually around to witness it. I've started to keep the rest a secret. And other times when different things are hurting I just ignore it in front of him. It's sad that it's gotten to the point where I feel like I can't even mention it to him. He should be my support....and should be offerning back rubs or to take DS out for a day and let me rest. But nope he just gets mad that I dont want to go out with him and his buddies to the bar cause I'd rather sleep.

Vent over!

ccmarinho

The other day, MH had a 24 hour flu and threw up for the FIRST time ever! He like acting like he was on his death bed and I told him that he needed to imagine feeling that way for 9 months! Lol...I think it put things in perspective! 

11kacey

ccmarinho:

The other day, MH had a 24 hour flu and threw up for the FIRST time ever! He like acting like he was on his death bed and I told him that he needed to imagine feeling that way for 9 months! Lol...I think it put things in perspective! 

 

I might add.. I had the stomach bug at 28 weeks pregnant which is a HUGE difference than getting the bug when you are early in pregnancy or not pregnant at all.. your stomach is in a completely different place and you have no ab muscles! It was awful. 

I'm sorry yall's husbands are being difficult.  

amybrewster

https://www.empathybelly.org/elungs.html

This website actually made me crack up... and I highly doubt many women would dish out the $700 to actually get it. Still funny to picture our husbands wearing this around the house!

CarlaAndJames

They made our husbands wear a backpack filled with 30 lbs on their front at our childbirth class, and then let us make them do whatever we wanted (tie their shoes, pick up a pen, pretend to shave) it was pretty funny!

ccorso

In a class that my husband and I took...the lady had the men put a backpack on backwards and filled it with items to make up the weight of a pregnant woman and then had them do things...Here is a chart of what everything weights.  So the items were like: I jar of mayo, rice, juice (full), etc.  It was hilarious but got the point across very well.

 

 

Where you gain the weightBlood3 poundsBreast2 poundsWomb2 poundsBaby7.5 poundsPlacenta1.5 poundsAminotic Fluid2 poundsFat & Protein7 poundsRetained Water4 pounds

jsong

ccorso:

In a class that my husband and I took...the lady had the men put a backpack on backwards and filled it with items to make up the weight of a pregnant woman and then had them do things...Here is a chart of what everything weights.  So the items were like: I jar of mayo, rice, juice (full), etc.  It was hilarious but got the point across very well.

 

 

Where you gain the weight

Blood

3 pounds

Breast

2 pounds

Womb

2 pounds

Baby

7.5 pounds

Placenta

1.5 pounds

Aminotic Fluid

2 pounds

Fat & Protein

7 pounds

Retained Water

4 pounds

 

What classes are these exercises from?  I want to take my husband to one of these classes...on a day he has a stomach bug (okay so, I don't wish bad things on my husband..well, only when he is being incredibly insensitive).  Part of his lack of sympathy is also from the fact that he RARELY gets sick so, he doesn't know how it feels to be sick in any capacity.

 

klv

Maybe have someone else, like your Dr. explain things to him.  I can sometimes tell my DH something until I am blue in the face but if someone else mentions it then it clicks. 

jsong

klv:

Maybe have someone else, like your Dr. explain things to him.  I can sometimes tell my DH something until I am blue in the face but if someone else mentions it then it clicks. 

I think you are absolutely right.  I think if someone else explained it, he would totally get it.  Unfortunately, the only visits he is able to go with me on are the ultrasounds and even worse is that the few people he knows personally who have been pregnant, have had the ideal (I'm talking no morning sickness, gained 25 lbs, smooth delivery and lost the weight within weeks) and even though I remind him they are not the norm, that's all he knows.   Sorry to be such a complainer today.  I am feeling very upset today and his lack of sympathy really got to me.

MelanieAdam0707

My husband isn't overly sympathetic or helpful - but that's kinda how he copes w people around him being sick/ill etc (long history w malingering mother)...so I don't expect a terrible amount from him- I appreciate that he will text me from work and ask me how I am feeling. 

One of the first things I saw resonate with my husband was during our 1st child birth class - and the instructor said that women burn the same amount of calories in the average labor and delivery as they do in a full marathon.  I heard my husband "wow" under his breath next to me.

ccorso

jsong:

ccorso:

In a class that my husband and I took...the lady had the men put a backpack on backwards and filled it with items to make up the weight of a pregnant woman and then had them do things...Here is a chart of what everything weights.  So the items were like: I jar of mayo, rice, juice (full), etc.  It was hilarious but got the point across very well.

 

 

Where you gain the weight

Blood

3 pounds

Breast

2 pounds

Womb

2 pounds

Baby

7.5 pounds

Placenta

1.5 pounds

Aminotic Fluid

2 pounds

Fat & Protein

7 pounds

Retained Water

4 pounds

 

 

What classes are these exercises from?  I want to take my husband to one of these classes...on a day he has a stomach bug (okay so, I don't wish bad things on my husband..well, only when he is being incredibly insensitive).  Part of his lack of sympathy is also from the fact that he RARELY gets sick so, he doesn't know how it feels to be sick in any capacity.

 

 

I have Kaiser. The offer early trimester, mid trimester, late trimester along with other classes.  These have been very helpful - especially for my husband. If you have a Kaiser, you can take them even though you are not a member - they just charge you a small fee 

Lori555

Really wish he cld see what its like for a day... Today (well this month) he took the cake for biggest a$$hole. I've been so upset and he just doesnt seem to get it, I'm so tired of his BS too, great timing now that Im almost 8 months along. All he seems to do is whine lately about how he can't buy a boat and this and that...plus we got in a huge money fight yesterday. I havent been able to stop crying especially after he tells his buddies how this kid is ruining all his plans and its not even here yet. He has been so insensitive and the biggest jerk, certainly doesn't help when my hormones are all out of wack, just dont know how much more I can take. Ive been sick for 4 wks and just starting to feel better. My cough was so bad I fractured my ribs so I havent been able to sleep or walk around comfortably in a long time and he doesnt seem to care or try to help me, pretty much walks around with his crappy attitude, lazy comments, and hasnt tried to make me feel any better about myself. Dr says im looking at 4 wks recovery time. We dont sleep in the same room (first my snoring & now bc we're fighting and im so sore) besides the fact we never "sleep" together anymore anyways which makes me feel even more stressed (him not wanting to). I'm pretty sure I'd be just as upset not pregnant but a little effort goes a long way. sorry for whinning but it feels good to get it off my chest. Any suggestions besides the baseball bat I want to take to him?! Im at the end of my rope...