DH's job schedule

alm0309

My DH is a retail manager, which means lots of nights and every weekend, all weekend.  Christmas time he works 70 hours a week, 6 days a week. The goal was to get another job before DS's arrival, or at least look actively, I know how hard it can be to get a job.  Well he put all of his eggs in one basket because he has a "connection" at the company.  Come to find out today that they do not have any open positions, but will "keep his resume on file for when something opens up", of course.....  Now I am really upset and stressed out.  I am furious that he did not listen to me from the beginning and continue to look around even though this job seemed so promising.  His schedule was already difficult on us as a couple, but throw a new baby in the mix and I am scared to death of the strain it will have.  Between his nights and weekends, and my 9-5, I do not know when we will be able to spend any family time together.  I feel like there is so much that we will miss out on, we will be swapping baby stories rather than share in the experience together.  Everything weekend will be spent with just me and baby. We can not just wake up and do things with the baby, he would have to request off well in advance and that always seems to be a problem.  

 Any moms out there who have dealt with a similar situation?  How did you handle it? 

IdigDirt

My DH's job is somewhat similar. He is a retail manager and works Monday, Wedensday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Luckily he gets off Sundays so we get one day together. He leaves for work at 7 and gets home around 8, I leave at 6 and get home at 4. It is annoying that I see him for 2 hours before going to bed and baby will pretty much never see him because he will be sleeping by 8.

I don't really have advice on how to handle it since it really annoys me and DH doens't want to leave the field he is in. 

KellyT24

My hubby works goofy hours too as a correctional officer and I never really see him on the weekends either, unless he calls in sick or asks 6 months in advance for time off, so he is taking a long maternity leave and hopefully he can bid on a different job within the prision and get better hours or days off. But as of right now we just kind of deal with it, its a great paying job! I hope you guys figure something out. Maybe if you have time you could search on monster or something and find some suggestions for him to look into or something.

caruso_60

My situation is sort of similar, in that we don't see each other at all 4 days per week.  Sometimes I don't know when he will get home.  We have been together for 10 years, so I am very used to it and enjoy the time to myself. We found a nice balance when my DS was born and I'm sure we will this time too.  When we do spend time together we make it count.  I think the worst part of it is dealing with household stuff.  Don't let that get in the way of family time.  Clean later.

jlsimon56

My sister's situation is similar.  She is a teacher and works 7-4, and waitresses on the weekends at a breakfast place.  She also tutors at Sylvan a few afternoons.  My BIL worked all overnight shifts (6 days/week) at Home Depot but has since gotten a 9-5 job.  In order to pay a babysitter, he has continued 2 overnight shifts (Fri +Sat) and also some afternoons (when my sister isn't tutoring).  If you follow all that....they are never home at the same time.  They have two small kids (3 and 1) and they just make it work.  He requests days off from Home Depot weeks in advance, and the diner has been really flexible with letting my sister take time off so they can see each other.  It will just take some planning ahead, but it's doable.  Lots of families in this economy are making adjustments.  I can't wait until the economy turns around!!

rainstar752

I'm worried about the same thing- I'll be working full-time, and DH is a 3rd year medical student on rotations.  I'm hoping that the good rotations will make up for the bad ones- but I know it's going to be hard!  At least it will mostly be bad this year and hopefully next year our schedules will be better (until residency- and then I might really never see him.  but I'm not going to worry about that yet).

mlasecki10

My situation is similiar also.. When the baby comes DH will pick up a second job to help with the difference in pay from me being out or work. he will only get 1 day off a week form both jobs. It stinks but we figured its only temporary that way we dont loose alot of our income, until i return to work then we will go back to having 2 days off together.

kathetakite

I work 6:30-3:00 every day DH is a manager at taco bell and works 5:00pm-Close Mon-Thurs. works during the day Friday and goes to school out of town saturday and sunday. So I see him a couple hours a day and friday night. It has been rough but for us it's just until he graduates from law school so I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We just deal with it because there really isn't anything else we can do

ccorso

My husband is a fisherman. During the season he could work 7 days in a row or more. He gets up at 3am and gets home between 5:30pm and 7pm.  He usually always works weekends. I work 7:3 0 am to 4pm M-F.  We make it work.  My husband loves his job and that is important. I don't like the hours and I am worried about it when the baby comes. But I have learned not to push him. He will need to see how much he misses with his work schedule and the unpredictability of his job. Plus he does better experiencing the hardship than me telling him there is going to be hardship.  So...for now...I have the summer off for Maternity leave - his busiest time. I can be there for the baby and we will see how it works out.  After the season is over, I am sure we will have a discussion about how this will work in the future. 

brobin01

My husband works 6:30 am to 8:00pm Mon & Thursday's. He also works 7am to 6pm Tues, Wed, & Fri, every Sat from 8 to 4. I work Mon - Fri 8am - 5pm

I don't really mind his shecdule, but he knows that once baby is here, he has a lot of changes that he needs to arrange with his job. We have a 6 year old and will be changing his school, so his school hours are going to change and don't work well with either one of our schedules. And we have no idea after I am off maternity leave, what type of baby care we will use. So yeah, I'm kind of frustrated but hopfully things will work out. J

ust think, there are miltary moms on here who see their husbands maybe once a year. So I take my situation as a blessing. I hope you are able to work out something. GL!

LoveOfMikesLife

my DH just opened his own restaurant! That means that he works every day open to close 8am-11pm or sometimes even later The restaurant is closed on Sundays so I quit my second job because that is when I worked the most over there and I never got to see him. Its pretty hard right now and when the baby comes he will unfortunatly miss out on a lot but we just keep reminding ourselves that by the time the baby is old enough to be "fun" ( as my DH puts it) hopefully he will be able to work less and be home more with us.

Pockety

DH is starting a new job in September where he'll be traveling M-F (not coming home at all during the week).  I'm a bit stressed too, but here's our plan:

We're going to get iPhones so that we can easily send pics back and forth, and face-time chat with the baby.  Maybe you could take 10-minute Skype breaks or something during the work day?  Not sure what your work situation is exactly, but if possible, check in with each other.

Additionally, I'm focusing right now on meeting other women who will have babies around the same age, who I can get together with when DH is not around, in order to have some adult interaction on a regular basis.  My girlfriends and I are also discussing sharing some babysitting duties - one will watch the babies while the other goes to a meeting, goes grocery shopping, etc. and we'll trade off.  

That'll let me have a life and get some things done when DH is not around, so when he is around, I won't be asking him to run errands or babysit; we'll just get to spend good quality time together. 

alm0309

Thanks ladies, you made me feel better knowing that others have the same situation and figure it all out.  I feel selfish, I guess I should be happy that DH has a good job and that we can provide for our child.  He will switch jobs eventually (I hope!)

MommaA117

yeah. My DH's job is really demanding. He works around 13 hour days.

The commute is about 45 minutes both ways so add an hour and a half to the day..

His leaves at about 9 am and usually returns at 11 or later.

Every once in a while he get a day that he doesn't close and gets home around 10ish, this is a treat. lol

Luckily he does get two days off a week at random. Sometimes not consecutive though. They are closed on Christmas but Thanksgiving, Mothers Day, New Years and Valentines are among their busiest days

I've actually gotten used to it and really cannot complain since it's going to allow me to almost be a SAHM other than working two days a week. One when he watches her and one where our parents rotate Saturdays.

As odd as it sounds, we make it work and I really don't feel like I never see him. With my job I was always able to stay up late and go in around 11 a,m so our time together was late evenings when he would get off. We eat and watch our DVR'ed shows together when he gets off at 11...we used to share a bottle of wine too..

Since he gets home so late I hope that he does mornings with the baby so that she gets to see him then...

carolleeg31

I have the same situation my job is M-F 8-5 and then my husband is a retail manager for a very small co. and works 6 if not 7 days a week, but his off days are usually a tues or wed, so we only see each other a few hrs a day and he works 10-8 on the days he works plus both weekend days......it does suck sometimes i have a break down and tell him how much he is going to miss out and how he has to try and make time for the family.....

 

well see what happens his schedule prob wont change much on weekend unless he really pushes for extra help, he is really the only worker for this small co. so it really stinks...

good luck and its ok to have a break down or be upset, its tough, but u have to deal with what is going on in the moment....its gonna stink being a single parent so to speak and not being able to share many weekends together, but hopefully like u said both our hubbys will have different schedules in the furture

kas80

I work full time (usually more than 40 hours a week actually) and my husband is in law enforcement and works 12-16 hour days on average.  There are weeks at a time though that we only see each other Friday night-Sunday so I know I'm going to be essentially a single mom for the week.  It sucks, but we just have to make it work.