Well, I caved tonight.

Ananke

After 4 months of DS's crappy sleep (up every 30-90 minutes) I caved and tried some modified Ferber tonight.  It was horrible and I couldn't take the "momomomomom" as he reached up for me. I gave up after 20 minutes. He just got more and more worked up and I couldn't handle it anymore.  It took almost as long just to calm him down.   I feel like a failure on so many different levels right now.

fotobird

You&re an excellent mom, probably hence why he's up every half hour to see your lovely face!
False optimism? Sorry. Perhaps try weaning from nighttime feedings?

DreadLoc

Awww, don't feel like a failure!  Is Ferber the first method you've tried?  There are more out there like the NCSS and Dr. Sears.  

Are you open to bed-sharing?  We practice safe bed sharing and I sleep w/o a shirt so Joy can just root for the breast and feed without either of us waking up so we both get lots of rest (holy run on sentence). If bed-sharing is an option you should try it.

I'm sorry you're going through this but don't let this get you down.  Just keep working on it. 

JDO

*hugs*

You did what you felt was necessary for your LO and for yourself, and that makes you a great mom. Even if it didn't work out the way that you'd hoped, it was at least a learning experience and you shouldn't think of yourself as a failure at all. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but I often look up to you as the type of mom I hope to be, I love your posts and blog. Chin up lady, you're doing a great job!

SnoopyLuv

You are doing your best to try and get him, and yourself some sleep. I would say not to give up on it, maybe try it the rest of this week so you can give it a fair shot. We've had to let Josie cry for a few minutes here and there and she's gone right back to sleep afterwards. Don't feel guilty!

Ananke

Thanks guys!  I wish this wasn't so hard.  Now he's wide awake again, with no sleep in sight.  

Kmeek -  I love you!  I actually think you're partly right.  I don't think he really knows how to put himself back to sleep, so he's reliant on me every time he wakes.  I wish nighttime weaning were the answer, but I don't think eating is his problem, although nursing to sleep is usually the quickest and easiest way to get him back to sleep.

Mrs.Lacy - I've tried pretty much everything short of the CIO methods with very little success. NCSS helped a little at first, but then he just reverted.  I'm open to bedsharing, but DH isn't.  The only way I'm getting what little sleep I am getting is by sleeping with him in his room for a couple hours.   DH already hates that I "coddle" DS, so if I forced the bedsharing issue, it would cause further problems for us.

JDO - You're so sweet!  I'm not sure anyone should really look up to me.  I feel like I've failed my whole family, and DH does nothing to help me feel otherwise.  I do appreciate your sentiments though!  

Snoopy - I might try again tomorrow, we'll see.  Getting him to sleep initially isn't the problem - he falls asleep fine the first time (in my arms, but that's okay with me) - it's the constant waking!  But, I'll think about trying it again tomorrow.  We'll see. I just feel so bad that I basically made my baby cry for 20 minutes when I could have just picked him up. I'm not sure I can do that again.  If it were just 5 or even 10 minutes, I think I could handle it, but he was just getting more and more worked up.  Even me checking on him and trying to soothe him didn't calm him down.

MonkeySender

This was us about a week ago. Ella was up every 2 hours and we decided to try letting her cio a little and it did NO good. I have been able to get her to fall asleep laying in her crib, but I have to sit next to the crib and shush and rub her back/belly until she dozes off... and even then a lot of nights I only get about 3 hrs or so out of her.

Ananke

MonkeySender:

This was us about a week ago. Ella was up every 2 hours and we decided to try letting her cio a little and it did NO good. I have been able to get her to fall asleep laying in her crib, but I have to sit next to the crib and shush and rub her back/belly until she dozes off... and even then a lot of nights I only get about 3 hrs or so out of her.

I wish even this worked, but he just screams his head off when I put him in the crib.  He only does that when he's tired too - he'll play in his crib during the day, so I know he's not afraid of it or anything.  He just wants to fall asleep in my arms 20 times a night.  I'm trying to stand by my goal of making him fall asleep in the crib tonight on his own, but I'm not going to make him cry anymore.  If I have to do the pick up/put down(even a half put down since he cries even as I lower him) a thousand times, I'm going to stick with it.  I think the adrenaline hit me, so at least I have some energy to work on it tonight.  I'm hoping if he can at least do the last bit of falling asleep on his own, in the crib, it'll help with night wakings - at least that what the "experts" claim.

SnoopyLuv

I sent you a PM my friend.

Ananke

SnoopyLuv:

I sent you a PM my friend.

Ugh, I had a huge reply typed out and hit the stupid hotkey to close the tab on accident.  It's just not my night. 

I gave up on getting him to fall asleep in the crib.  He was just getting hysterical every time I'd even start to lower him an inch, and then it would take 5 minutes to even calm him down while holding him.  He's asleep in my arms but still doing the little sobs.

You'll have a PM in a few - I'm going to lay him on the bed and see if he'll stay asleep there.

SnoopyLuv

Ananke:

SnoopyLuv:

I sent you a PM my friend.

Ugh, I had a huge reply typed out and hit the stupid hotkey to close the tab on accident.  It's just not my night. 

I gave up on getting him to fall asleep in the crib.  He was just getting hysterical every time I'd even start to lower him an inch, and then it would take 5 minutes to even calm him down while holding him.  He's asleep in my arms but still doing the little sobs.

You'll have a PM in a few - I'm going to lay him on the bed and see if he'll stay asleep there.

Story of my life with deleting replies.

Wrap him up and let him sleep on you if he doesn't stay in bed. Good luck!

Ananke

SnoopyLuv:

Ananke:

SnoopyLuv:

I sent you a PM my friend.

Ugh, I had a huge reply typed out and hit the stupid hotkey to close the tab on accident.  It's just not my night. 

I gave up on getting him to fall asleep in the crib.  He was just getting hysterical every time I'd even start to lower him an inch, and then it would take 5 minutes to even calm him down while holding him.  He's asleep in my arms but still doing the little sobs.

You'll have a PM in a few - I'm going to lay him on the bed and see if he'll stay asleep there.

Story of my life with deleting replies.

Wrap him up and let him sleep on you if he doesn't stay in bed. Good luck!

I finally got it sent, after another few encounters with the Ctrl+W combo (close tab).  I wish it wasn't such a pain in the @ss to disable just a couple hotkeys.  He's sleeping well on the bed, thankfully.  I couldn't handle those sleeping sobs.

SnoopyLuv

Ananke:

SnoopyLuv:

Ananke:

SnoopyLuv:

I sent you a PM my friend.

Ugh, I had a huge reply typed out and hit the stupid hotkey to close the tab on accident.  It's just not my night. 

I gave up on getting him to fall asleep in the crib.  He was just getting hysterical every time I'd even start to lower him an inch, and then it would take 5 minutes to even calm him down while holding him.  He's asleep in my arms but still doing the little sobs.

You'll have a PM in a few - I'm going to lay him on the bed and see if he'll stay asleep there.

Story of my life with deleting replies.

Wrap him up and let him sleep on you if he doesn't stay in bed. Good luck!

I finally got it sent, after another few encounters with the Ctrl+W combo (close tab).  I wish it wasn't such a pain in the @ss to disable just a couple hotkeys.  He's sleeping well on the bed, thankfully.  I couldn't handle those sleeping sobs.

Replied. And I'm going to hit the hay. 2:30 is way later than I need to be up! You sleep too!

rubredvelvet

Don't feel bad CIO is def not for everyone! After our perfect sleeper stoped sleeping in the lowered crib we decided to cosleep and we love it. They are only this age once and we love the snuggling!

pazrana

I caved right around 1 am the first night and S slept with me the rest of the night.  I decided to try again and night 2 was so much better. She cried, but fell asleep before the 5 min check at bedtime and after eating.  Last night was night 3. We had about 12 minutes of fussing (so I checked on her once after 10 min), then she went to sleep, and slept until 6:45 this morning! If you feel you and he are ready then give it another try.  If not, no biggie, try again later.  Good luck in whatever you decide!