Going Home without My Girl :(

elisbu

Sorry I have been out of pocket.
That whole 'sleep now' thing is way under estimated. I am so tired I can't see. I finally skipped today's noon after falling asleep at her 9am feeding (DH went instead of both of us going) so I could try to get 4 solid hours of sleep. It felt so good until I woke up crying because I felt so guilty for not being with her  When DH came back to the room my exact words were "I shouldn't need to sleep!" He laughed at me, which brought me back to reality.

Katherine is doing better. She dropped some weight (she is down to 3 lbs 15 oz) but most newborns lose 10%, which she hasn't hit yet, so we are doing good. She is also a little jaundice but nothing we have to worry about yet.
Her head is in the 4th-10th percentile. We're not sure what that means yet, but it could be microcephaly which will mean delays in the future or it could be that she just has a small head. Still, it's nothing we can worry about now.

Right now all she needs to work on is feeding (our goal is a bottle at every feeding since I am not making  enough milk, but I will still pump) and gaining weight. Once she does those two, we should be able to take her home!!

I love her more than I ever thought possible. Seeing her makes every problem I have go away. I can't wait for other May Mamas to have their babies!

Here she is:

BecauseICan

First of all, congratulations--she is gorgeous and such a peanut--but look at those long fingers!!  I'm so sorry you have to go home without her.    I hope things go well over the next few days so that you are able to take her home with you soon. 

mzsparklepdx

She is SO beautiful!  And it sounds like she is doing amazingly well.  I can't imagine how you are feeling but a rested, happy mama is the best thing for her so sleeping is a good thing.  Take care of yourself and she'll be home before you know it.

bride2be.austin

i always thought that has GOT to be the hardest thing ever (leaving a baby at the hospital!).  way to be strong mama!  thanks for the update! so glad she is doing well.  now get some sleep!

ironmommy

She is precious! And I know just how hard it is to go home without your baby girl -- my sister had to do the same with my nephew, and it is really the most heart-wrenching thing ever. But it sounds like she is doing wonderfully and will be home with you very soon. Congratulations mama!

theaustins05

She is beautiful. Your posts make me want my baby here too, but I can wait until may.

I hope she can go home soon!

bdunbar

She is so beautiful. I hope she can come home with y'all soon. 

JessicaG56

I think she looks perfect! Hang in there and yes please SLEEP!

Temp38995750004016

She's so stinkin' cute!!!

jess0530

Congratulations on the adorable little girl!  T&P are being sent your way.  Hopefully it won't be too long and she will get to join you at home!

soon to be Mrs. Connolly

She is so precious! I hope she quickly begins to feed well and gain weight so you can take her home!  GL

Cassondra09

I am sorry that you have to go home without her, I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult that must be! She is so precious, sending lots of 'eat well and grow big' vibes to little miss Katherine.

AMYRENEE27

She is precious!!

Mags04

She is darling!

sbl630

She is a picture of perfection! Congratulations!

 

BabyBebe1

Hey there - I am so sorry you have to go home without her. I've been there and it's very hard. But I promise that the day you hear that she is being discharged, and you get to go up there and dress her up, and then proudly march her out of the NICU...that my dear will be the most amazing day! 

Not that you need any advice, but pumping really helped me through our NICU stay. It gave me something to do while I was there all day, and it also made me feel like I was still being a Mommy when I was home without DS at night. And I built a huge stash up which was an extra benefit.

Huge, huge hugs to you and sweet baby Katherine.

PinkBackPack

she is so precious.  I couldn't imagine having to leave my baby at the hospital.  Stay strong mama!

sparkymcgeee

She's beautiful! I'm so sorry you have to leave without her. You do have to sleep so I don't think you did anything wrong. I hope your milk supply grows and she gains the weight she needs. Good luck and thank you so much for keeping us updated.

ZTAsunshine

She is so beautiful! 

NothingLikeBarbie

She is so perfect and beautiful!

EJensify

She is absolutely perfect!

kck329

Leaving the NICU without my baby may possibly be the hardest thing I've done. I know how much you are hurting. Trust that the doctors and nurses are giving your little Katherine all the care she needs and know that you will be up there with her as much as possible.

Take care of yourself too. Its really hard to do, but you are recovering from childbirth and are entering the next stage on the emotional rollercoaster that is being a NICU mommy. Give yourself permission to sleep and to leave the hospital occasionally. You will be better for it (I didn't believe anyone when they told me that a few weeks ago so I understand that you can't do that yet.) 

Katherine is beautiful and she is doing so well! Your take home day is coming and it will be a big celebration. I'm thinking about you tonight, PM me if you need to vent. Like PP said I'm up all night pumping and thinking about my little girl too so I'm around all the time. Get some rest!

katieguth

I know just how hard it is to leave the hospital and not go home with your beautiful baby.  I hope that things went smoothly for you with few tears!  She's beautiful!  I'll be sending you good thoughts and prayers.  If you need to talk to someone who's been there/is there, PM me!  Good luck!!!! 

kerrbear72

Good thing you're one tough cookie.

She's so beautiful love! Please sleep while you can