need honest opinions please!

jknapp

My DH is deployed and my mom sent him a package with a bunch of easter candy and snacks.  As soon as DH received the package he told me to tell my mom thank you, and he really loves everything she sent.  I told her the next time I talked to her.  This was 2 weeks ago.

I talked to my mom today and she brought up the package again asking if H ever got it.  Acting like she didnt remember me telling her thank you 2 weeks prior.  After a few mins she finally said "I went out of my way to send him a package and I deserve a personal email from him saying thank you to me."  I explained that he doesnt always have computer access and when he does he sends me a short email letting me kow hes okay. Then my mom said "well I feel left out and he needs to send me an email"  I told her she is being selfish, and thats not the point of sending something.  She should do it bc its her son-in-law, not so everyone on FB knows she sent it.

Im still upset about this, but am I overreacting?!

Thanks ladies!

NavyPilotWife

I'd be irritated if it was my mom, especially if she was broadcasting stuff on facebook.  Does she expect thank you notes/emails from him at holidays?  Even if she does, I think she should cut him some slack, since he's deployed.

My Dad and his side of the family are big thank you note writers, so I always send notes to them.  My mom (parents are divorced) and her side of the family, as well as DH's side are fine with "thanks" via phone or email from someone (I can say thank from DH and vice versa).

If she continues to make a huge deal out of it, I'd probably tell DH to send her a quick email or letter, just to get her to STFU.

DowagerCountessofNJ

I think she's overreacting.  It definitely would have been nice if he shot her a quick email saying "thank you", my H sent one to my grandmother when she sent a package.  But the point of the care package isn't to receive a "thank you", it's to boost their morale.  And isn't not like it wasn't acknowledged.

shall923

Your mom is being ridiculous. He is in a war zone sorry he doesn't have time to sit down and write personal thank-you cards. I wouldn't worry about it. There probably isn't anything you can do to change her mind.

My MIL gets her panties in a bunch about not getting emails. The nerve of DH checking on his wife and child and not on his mom. I just roll my eyes and move on. What else can you do?

Good luck. 

 

 

heikem87

jknapp:

My DH is deployed and my mom sent him a package with a bunch of easter candy and snacks.  As soon as DH received the package he told me to tell my mom thank you, and he really loves everything she sent.  I told her the next time I talked to her.  This was 2 weeks ago.

I talked to my mom today and she brought up the package again asking if H ever got it.  Acting like she didnt remember me telling her thank you 2 weeks prior.  After a few mins she finally said "I went out of my way to send him a package and I deserve a personal email from him saying thank you to me."  I explained that he doesnt always have computer access and when he does he sends me a short email letting me kow hes okay. Then my mom said "well I feel left out and he needs to send me an email"  I told her she is being selfish, and thats not the point of sending something.  She should do it bc its her son-in-law, not so everyone on FB knows she sent it.

Im still upset about this, but am I overreacting?!

Thanks ladies!

Think if she really mentions such a statement she shouldnt have sent something in the first place. I mean either she does it because she wants to or she can just leave it. I think you are not overreacting and I think I would have bitched at my mom for saying something like that

Lissa832

DH and I had a rule when he was deployed. *I* get the phone calls and emails. I am his wife, and if there was time to chat, it belonged to me. I could relay messages and such, but direct communication belonged to me. Your mom is being selfish. Sometimes, communication is unreliable, and when he can, it should be with you.

hellopoppyseed

Lissa832:

DH and I had a rule when he was deployed. *I* get the phone calls and emails. I am his wife, and if there was time to chat, it belonged to me. I could relay messages and such, but direct communication belonged to me. Your mom is being selfish. Sometimes, communication is unreliable, and when he can, it should be with you.

I like this a lot. Thanks

Excited Mrs P

I 100% agree!

 My husband just came home from deployment - and I got every phone call and email. I would relay messages to our respective families -- but as previous said.. I am his pregnant wife at home, and any available chat/phone time went to me!