NBR poll: If by some chance you had a second wedding

CollieJade

Assuming you were divorced or widowed and got remarried, would you do a traditional-ish wedding and wear a white dress/veil? Would you have a full guest list, caterer, the whole nine yards?

I was wondering this while standing in the checkout line at HEB yesterday and checking out all the magazine buzz about Reese Witherspoon's recent wedding.  I was really surprised, for some reason, that she went the whole white dress/veil route. Not that I think there's anything wrong with that or anything; I dunno, it just surprised me - maybe because she has kids? ::shrug::  I know we have a couple ladies on here who are or soon to be remarried, so I'm interested in what they did/will do as well.

As much as I looooved being a bride with the big white dress, etc, I don't think I would have any kind of traditional wedding if I somehow wound up in the position of getting remarried. Though I guess it's easy to say that now since I think there's very little chance I will ever find myself in the remarrying position.  I just wouldn't want to make a big deal out of it if that were the case.  Too much stress! lol I'd probably have a small ceremony with immediate family and a few close friends on a beach somewhere or something casual on the lake and then dinner with those closest to us afterward. Very low key.

Anyway, just curious what others think they'd do!

 

ali-1411

No.  I had a big wedding the first (and only) time and I hated everything about it.  9 months off planning, all the etiquette, it sucked and I've regretted it ever since.  I had fun at the wedding, don't get me wrong.  I don't regret getting married!  The wedding just wasn't worth the trouble.

I would just do a quiet ceremony.  Or run off to Vegas

thethomps

I did the traditional route with my second wedding because, in my mind, the first one did not count at all (ex-H was abusive and an a-hole).  Plus, it was my DH's first marriage and he wanted all the traditional stuff.  I had a gold-ish dress, matching veil, church wedding, catered reception, 150+ guest list.  It was an afternoon wedding because we were paying most of it ourselves and that was a cheaper option.  No DJ at the reception, but we did have a string quartet.  I didn't think too much of me wearing a veil or normal wedding gown and if anyone else did...oh well!  It wasn't their day! 

SaraLouiseBride08

Ohmygosh, I would loooove to have another wedding. I had SO much fun planning and throwing my wedding. Maybe I can just re-marry DH (or would I? I'm joking. Kinda No really...)

But even if, God forbid, I was marrying someone else, I totally would. I probably wouldn't have a white dress ... it'd be pale pink. And not big and poofy, just a nice, soft, feminine long dress. And hell yah, it'd be catered, with a DJ. I really like throwing parties Even my first wedding was a real celebration, not too formal ... it was all about the party, the fun, the celebration of the event. It may or may not have lasted 3 days! Obivoulsy, it's wouldn't be a gift-giving wedding, but a wedding non the less!

s-a-r-a-h

I don't know what I'd do, but I thought her dress was pink? I think she wore a white dress to the reception. I was kind of surprised by the pink dress because I figured she'd be a classic white kind of bride, even the second time around.

thethomps

s-a-r-a-h:

I don't know what I'd do, but I thought her dress was pink? I think she wore a white dress to the reception. I was kind of surprised by the pink dress because I figured she'd be a classic white kind of bride, even the second time around.

It was.  It reminds me of "my colors are blush and bashful." 

chargermama

I have been married twice.  My second wedding I wore a wedding dress but we got married on a bluff overlooking Lake Tahoe - we had 20 guests and went to Harvey's casino for dinner at Hard Rock Cafe after the ceremony.  It was DH's first wedding and even that was more than what he wanted to do...

SaraLouiseBride08

s-a-r-a-h:

I thought her dress was pink?

It was, that's what reminded me how much I wanted a pink wedding dress. Her dress was gorgeous, and I was standing in HEB yesterday wishing my dress had been pink like that!

JayandJack

I did the big wedding the second time because I didn't the first time.

We went to Vegas the first time and while I did the white dress and tuxes, cake and all that jazz I didn't feel like it was a "real" wedding but that might have also been because of who I married. I always wanted the big one. When I got married the second time (his first) he wanted the big traditional wedding so while we couldn't do the catholic church wedding (long story) we did do the catholic venue wedding. I had a big dress but it wasn't white and that was only because I don't look good in white (it was diamond white) with the big cake and 130 guests. 

Honestly because I was 21 the first time and was 29 the second time I kinda just wanted to do a white dress and a beach somewhere for the second time to save the money but he wanted traditional.

FWIW, I paid for both. 

OrangeFelt

I just had my second wedding (and DH's 2nd as well) on this year's New Year's Day!  And no, there was nothing over the top about it, I don't think.  We ran off to the USVI, I got a wispy J.Crew dress, and it was just us, the minister and a photographer on a beach.  I didn't ask for any gifts (with the exception of trying to fundraise for a charity), I didn't involve anyone else but us two, and it was fantastic.

However, I do have a close friend who had her (and her husband's) second wedding a year ago, and did do the whole big wedding, fanfare and pulled out all they could.  I think its very much a "to each his own" kind of thing, because some people just really like to celebrate.  The wedding didn't bug me, but one thing that did bug me.... was doing a second registry. However, it only bugged me because I know she didn't need anything, and has complete sets of everything you could possibly ask for, right down to the last dessert spoon and cordial glass.. and registered for a lot of superfluous stuff.  I get that family usually wants to get a gift, but it was still odd to me. 

Now, it would not have rubbed me the wrong way if a) it was one of their first weddings (her or her h) or b) they were really, just getting started in life, or really didn't have a whole lot to their names. 

molliedb

oh i'd TOTALLY have another wedding.  i love love loved everything about it.  actually when anthropologie came out with their new wedding line i started dreaming about another one.  haha!  i'd probably do it more low key and spend way less money but have more personal touches and just a big party for all my closest friends, kids, etc.

if i was getting remarried (assuming dh is no longer with us, b/c thats pretty much the only reason i can imagine in this scenario) i'd be so lucky to have found true love again and i'd just want to celebrate!!

granted- it might be on the beach or something else fun but definitely a party and every time i photograph a bride i envy her fancy shoes and dress

SarahPLiz

I don't think I would do the whole shebang again, but it would depend on who I was marrying. If it was his first marriage and he wanted the whole big party, then I'd be more inclined to do it.

I was in a 2nd wedding a couple weekends ago. The bride was widowed with a young child and this is her H's first marriage. She wore a beautiful champagne gown, but they had all the other regular wedding festivities except a shower.  She had a low-key bachelorette party, and the whole wedding party had to wear very expensive dresses. The ceremony was less formal than her first, but I think that suited her H just fine. 

FireChiefsBride

Reese married Ryan when she was pregnant- I wonder if she didn't get the fairy tale wedding the first time and wanted to really capture that for this marriage, on top of that being a factor for getting married.

I want to plan another wedding.  I want to do either destination or Vegas. I keep telling DH I'm going to make him marry me again so I can plan one- dress and all.  :P 

AustinMimi

Nope. I'd just want a small and intimate celebration, probably with a great dinner afterward. I loved my wedding, but I wouldn't want another big one. That said, I would reconsider if having a more traditional wedding meant a lot to the person I would be marrying.

carlinlp

My second wedding was bigger than my first wedding and it was still very low key. We ran away to Hawaii and got married on the beach with our closest friends and family there. I didn't wear a white dress at my first wedding so I did at my second one and don't regret it one bit.

GuavaGal

AustinMimi:

Nope. I'd just want a small and intimate celebration, probably with a great dinner afterward. I loved my wedding, but I wouldn't want another big one. That said, I would reconsider if having a more traditional wedding meant a lot to the person I would be marrying.

Likely this.  Although, my first wedding wasn't that large (maybe 115 attendees?), but the reception (location/live band) made it seem like a big party to me.

I mainly just want to wear a pretty dress and celebrate with my nearest and dearest.  My BF has never been married.  His huge family might see this as their last chance at this sort of party (since it seems like his dad is sticking with wife #3), so who knows.

In any case, I'll probably keep it simple by wearing something like this:

mcgee

I hated that I only got one wedding. I've got at least three or four good weddings in me. I was hoping to live vicariously through my sister (again) as I planned her first wedding and really wanted to plan a very low key beach wedding for her second wedding. She spoiled all of my fun by running off to Vegas. She wore black at her second wedding.

I would definitely do the whole wedding thing again. We had a small wedding on the beach in Florida the first time around, and I'd probably do something like that again but in another location and not beachy. I loved my wedding, but I'd probably do a different theme if I had another wedding. Maybe DH will let me have another one when we celebrate our 20th or something.

Abrooks

I think it would depend on the circumstances - but I would most definitely shop for an awesome dress. We loved our wedding and I would love to do another one.  But I'd be fine w/ close friends/family or destination as long as I got to wear an awesome dress.    

BLONDIE6FT

i would love to have a big wedding again! i had a blast!

but i would not make my friends wear bridesmaid dresses again!! i think it would just be cruel. i guess because i'm older and alot of my friends are, too. the last bachelorette party we went on was kind of silly   like, we were too old to be trying to pull it off lol!

oh, and no gifts because i kind of feel like my friends and family already paid for the first one. so, unless there were unique circumstances, no gifts but a BIG OLE PARTY! AND A WHITE DRESS FOR ME

Taytee

I had a HUGE wonderful wedding at the Driskill for my second wedding. I did wear white. I also had a veil but decided it would be weird to wear it over my face (I didn't at my first wedding, but just because I didn't like it).

Keep in mind it was my husbands first wedding. He didn't want to spend it on a beach. Plus, we have 2 relatives confined to wheelchairs, so even getting out of Austin/Georgetown can be a struggle. DH's mom is one of them. Our families are not what I would call poor, but financially speaking, asking them to fly anywhere for a wedding would mean nobody would have been there.

I loved my 2nd wedding tons more than my 1st because it was MINE. DH and I made all the decisions. My 1st was a collaboration of many family members and it didn't feel like it was mine at all.