gave mom 1st batch of numbers for shower guests

EBathory997Wed74688

My shower RSVP date is a week away and most people still have not responded (all of my friends/husband's friends and co-workers/most family members).  There are over 50 invited.  The only people who have called are 3 of the 4 of my husband's family, my mother's friends, my sister and niece, 2 aunts, a cousin and my grandmother.  So today I sent the first batch of phone numbers for my mother and grandmother to start calling people as per my mother's request.

 

Should I post something on Facebook since I am friends with many on the list even though I am not involved with the hosting or leave things to my mother and grandmother?  Anyone else have this dilemma or is it just me?

LexGator

I wouldn't start calling people until after the RSVP date -- and even then I wouldn't do it unless it was essential that you have a specific head count (i.e., you're having it at a restaurant and paying per head or something). I don't see anything wrong with contacting people via FB or asking them yourself to find out if they're coming, but I would wait until the RSVP date has passed.

EBathory997Wed74688

We are having it at a restaurant and we need the head count by 4/22 so we need to have an exact number unfortunately.  I know it seems probably rude for me to contact anyone but I feel horrible that my mother and grandmother need to call nearly 40 people to ask if they are coming.

cvl105

A week is still a long time in terms of RSVPing. Start calling AFTER the RSVP date. If they wanted responses by today, they should have put today's date.

MrsPBNJ0220

I would post a friendly reminder on your Facebook.  When my sister needed the RSVP's so that she could order the cake, I went directly to each of the people and harassed them until they gave me an answer.  Considering she knows some of them but doesn't know most of my DH's family very well I didn't want to expect her to call them to get the RSVP's!  I don't think you would be hurting anyone helping move things right along!

GL!

ETA: I only started calling the people because my sister forgot to put the RSVP on the invite, leaving it sort of open ended.  If I was you and she listed an RSVP date, wait until that has passed before you remind anyone.  Or if you are chatting with a friend, it wouldn't hurt to mention the shower and see if they respond with an "I will/will not be there".

kimbo1216

What about email?  Wouldn't that be easier than calling?

luvbeingmom

i see nothing wrong with a "reminder, please rsvp by 04/22 for my babyshower!!" fb notice...

people may have forgotten and that should spur an increase in rsvp's. then call those that didn't rsvp at all

EBathory997Wed74688

My mother is a very punctual person and she at least expected family to call by now.  She doesn't want to do everything at the last minute.  From what I was told the invites were sent out early to mid march to give plenty of time.  She wanted phone numbers, not emails, so I am only doing what was asked of me.  I don't want to appear rude or harassing to people.

Diver0214

My mom asked me the same thing today, the Rsvp date isn't until Sunday but she wanted to be prepared come Monday to who she or my sister was going to call. I see nothing wrong with contacting people after the Rsvp date.

lynn97

I'd email or fb but I would wait until closer to the date. I have to say, it seems like no one rsvps anymore, which I find sooo rude. Several of my friends had major issues w/this w/their weddings, so we did regrets only, which seemed to work well. My big shower w/friends is regrets only, too and I think my friend only has one "regret" so far. 

MelanieAdam0707

We're struggling with the same problem. My mom figured people would be calling all along and DHs entire family hasnt replied yet and my RSVP is Friday.

DH sent a message to friends and family on FB on my Mom & sister's behalf reminding friends and family to respond...partly bc they sent out the invites really early so - that's how we handled it but yeah it is super annoying. 

LauraOTR

I'd say at least 75% of my guests RSVPed the week before the RSVP date. I don't think it makes sense to call people before your RSVP date at all, and honestly, as a guest, I don't think I'd understand getting a phone call before the date. If your Mom wants to call her family, I'd say that's fine, it's her family. But other than that, she should wait. You can also offer to help her call. I see nothing wrong with it. I did that. You just say "I'm helping my Mom follow up on RSVPs."

If you're going to post on facebook, just be aware that 1. Not everyone is going to see it and 2. Those who are not invited to your shower, might feel left out. Unless you're talking about writing a private FB message. Again, though, I'd wait til closer to, or after your RSVP date.

 

EBathory997Wed74688

I'll leave off facebook for now but I still feel bad.  I got invited to a coworker's shower and responded the day I got the invite.