For those sah's Does Dh ever...(vent)

tinamichelle

ok in reading smashley's post and having a argument with DH I need to ask...for those who sah and don't wah does DH ever say things in haste like Everything in this house I worked for

ok back story...Dh got laid off Thursday..we kinda knew it was coming but didn't know when...anyways we had a huge fight becuase he is stressed about money...Then the famous words apparently I don;t appreciate anything in this house becuase I didn't pay for it...OK I've only for the past three years taken care of this everything in this house and house and the bills that this house has made....It aggravates me so much because me staying home was a joint decision and now since I don't have anything to do (1st I was wedding planning then help taking care of my grandpa and grandma) I'm beginning to hear this a lot more...i just needed to vent he has apologized but it's still aggravating...thanks ladies...

kiliwicket

I'm sorry, I wish I could say it was the same.  Usually its me feeling guilty about not making a monetary contribution when things get tight.    sorry you're having to deal with this.

GladToBeMrs.SRS

Oh, tina...I'm so sorry.  You two must be drowning in stress right now.  My heart goes out to you.  I'll be praying that your DH finds work soon. 

 

((hugs))

Em&B

Well, I have the opposite situation . . . I work and dh sah. I've never once said that to him. At times I sort of feel like I'm doing more work than he is, but I think that's partly because I'm the woman and he's the man (I like things kept cleaner than he does, etc - I think we all know dh's idea of clean and our idea of clean is a bit different). Anyway, I'm sorry you guys got into a big fight. I'm sure he was just stressed and didn't mean it, but it still doesn't excuse it.He can't possibly understand all you do during the day, maybe it will become more apparent now that he'll be home for a bit (hopefully not long).

I'll be thinking of you!!

Dobie_Mama

No advice, just ((hugs)).

triumphantreturnofplanningbug

I don't SAH full time, but DH does make four times what I do, so I often feel like I don't really contribute financially.  That said, I was SAH last summer to help my grandmother while she recovered from surgery and was grieving my grandfather's death.  It was hard on both of us, and it wasn't even permanent.  There was *once* that DH said something about wishing that he got to stay home and do nothing all day, and I tore into him verbally in a way that surprised us both with my viciousness.  It's never acceptable for me to give into my anger that way, and I felt horrid for a long time even after he'd forgiven me, but it was also the moment when we realized I was absolutely not cut out for that sort of work. 

 So no advice or real help, but you're not alone in being angry and he's not alone in thinking/saying it.  ((hugs)) and prayers that your stress can be met with grace and love and provisions for all you need in such a challenging time.

m_and_m

DH has also been under extreme financial stress for the past year (every since Countrywide started having serious problems- yeah, guess who he used to work for) and while he hasn't said those exact words he's been known to say similar things. "I work hard for what we have" and "I go to work every day" etc, etc. He knows I do a lot too, but I think it's just the financial stress because he feels pressured to keep providing the way he has in the past. Unfortunately with the current economy that just isn't possible and he feels guilty so it's easy for it to bleed over, you know?

smashedflea

yeah - my hobbies cost us money while dh's make us money. blech. Sometimes dh's just don't get what goes into keeping things up. I would totally like to REALLY do nothing for a week and then see what he says.

 

Hope things are better today for you - what kind of work does your dh do?