Who hates working as much as I do?

rg8482

I don't know if it's that I'm unhappy with my job and what I do or I just plain hate working and rather be home with my little princess, but I just feel torn lately.  As a side note, it doesn't help that I'm always exhausted since E goes through phases where she wakes up multiple times a night just to use me as a human pacifier.  If some of you have read some of my posts, I don't believe in sleep training methods so that's out for me as I don't mind waking up since I just feel it's a natural thing for a baby to do but I guess it is somewhat affecting my life.

Most working moms I know hate that they have to be away from their LO's but love that they have some place to go to interact with other adults.

For me, I barely interact with anyone at my job because it's such a small office, 90% of the people here are male and we have NOTHING in common, so I have no friends or talk about anything other than work and I just think it sucks and I rather be home "talking" with E.  The only problem is that DH doesn't make enough to support all of us, so that's why I continue working.

In addition, even though I hate what I do, my boss is pretty flexible with allowing me to take off early, changing my work schedule around and asking for days off if I need to stay home with E for any reason, so I guess that is part of the reason why I don't look for another job. 

This is more of a vent post to get this off my chest, but also wondering if anyone else has felt this way and if so, what did you do to get some sanity and feel comfortable as a working mom?

kcl22

I absolutely hate working. I'm miserable. Borderline depressed. I'm actively looking for something part time. I can commiserate

mamaholmes2010

I can totally relate.  I am an engineer so I am the only woman in my department.  In total there are about 10 women that work in this company of over 130 people...it defnitely gets lonely and feels like a boys club. 

I try to involve LO in as much of my day as possible.  Now that it is light until about 7pm here I take him for walks or runs with me at night after work instead of going to the gym.  I use him as my "weights" for shoulder press, chest press, triceps, biceps, and abs (he seems to enjoy the motion).  On the weekends I rarely make plans that don't involve him, and I try to enjoy our evenings as much as possible by preparing and freezing most of our dinners on Sundays. 

I am not sure if I will ever be comfortable as a working Mom.  I know I will always feel guilty about work if I am home and guilty about LO if I am at work.  Its the hardest job in the world, but everyday I tell myself that by being at work I am providing a better life for my LO and teaching him some level of independence and the knowledge that mommy will always be home when he needs her.

FWIW we have also been struggling with nighttime waking (I think I got a total of three hours of sleep last night if you add it all together)...

 

 

BabyD22

I hate working also! The office I work in has 10 people & I am the youngest by 10 years so I have nothing in common with anyone either. I also hate my hours they are 830am - 430pm + 30 min travel time both ways. Z wakes up at 7am & is in bed between 7 & 8pm. To me that is not enough time with him & it makes me so sad!

rg8482

kcl22:

I absolutely hate working. I'm miserable. Borderline depressed. I'm actively looking for something part time. I can commiserate

This is kind of how I've been feeling too and it kind of scares me because I haven't been my happy self lately.

rg8482

mamaholmes2010:

I can totally relate.  I am an engineer so I am the only woman in my department.  In total there are about 10 women that work in this company of over 130 people...it defnitely gets lonely and feels like a boys club. 

I try to involve LO in as much of my day as possible.  Now that it is light until about 7pm here I take him for walks or runs with me at night after work instead of going to the gym.  I use him as my "weights" for shoulder press, chest press, triceps, biceps, and abs (he seems to enjoy the motion).  On the weekends I rarely make plans that don't involve him, and I try to enjoy our evenings as much as possible by preparing and freezing most of our dinners on Sundays. 

I am not sure if I will ever be comfortable as a working Mom.  I know I will always feel guilty about work if I am home and guilty about LO if I am at work.  Its the hardest job in the world, but everyday I tell myself that by being at work I am providing a better life for my LO and teaching him some level of independence and the knowledge that mommy will always be home when he needs her.

FWIW we have also been struggling with nighttime waking (I think I got a total of three hours of sleep last night if you add it all together)...

 

 

This is what I'd like to think, but it's so hard when I don't even like what I do.

Sometimes I struggle with the idea of finding a new job because I don't like it, but then I think about the flexibility I get here and how I may not have that flexibility elsewhere so then I start thinking maybe I should think about starting my own business but how would I go about doing that?  It's a constant mental struggle.

rg8482

BabyD22:

I hate working also! The office I work in has 10 people & I am the youngest by 10 years so I have nothing in common with anyone either. I also hate my hours they are 830am - 430pm + 30 min travel time both ways. Z wakes up at 7am & is in bed between 7 & 8pm. To me that is not enough time with him & it makes me so sad!

I have a similar work schedule from 8-4 and my commute time because I walk a little over a mile and take a bus is an hour each way, so I'm away from E for 10 hours total.  I get home and I feed her, bathe her and play with her for a bit before she wants to lay down for the night.  I never feel it's enough time either and I'm sure she feels the same way because she just wants to stay up all night comfort sucking.

stylez6

That's why I don't work.

moocow12

I loved my job before maternity leave, and while I still love everyone I work with, my actual job seems stupid and pointless.  I would rather be at home with my DD.  I pretty much do as little work as humanly possible here until I can go home. 

My hours are horrible; 8-5 with an hour commute each way.  I am still working here because the people are great and the work (though pointless) is still kinda fun and I carry the dental insurance.  The time away from DD is really eating at me though so I am starting to look at part time options closer to home.  It is harder than I thought to find part time work that is not fast food or retail...

mamaholmes2010

amy052006:

moocow12:

I loved my job before maternity leave, and while I still love everyone I work with, my actual job seems stupid and pointless.  I would rather be at home with my DD.  I pretty much do as little work as humanly possible here until I can go home. 

My hours are horrible; 8-5 with an hour commute each way.  I am still working here because the people are great and the work (though pointless) is still kinda fun and I carry the dental insurance.  The time away from DD is really eating at me though so I am starting to look at part time options closer to home.  It is harder than I thought to find part time work that is not fast food or retail...

I totally wish more people would say this.  I looked for part time too -- but really, I wanted half of my hours and at half of my salary, not in fast food or retail.  I see all of the Bumpies who say "Oh, I will probably go back part time at some point" and wonder where, exactly.

 

What my job has allowed me to do (and I know this is SUPER uncommon and rare but I have been here for a couple of years and have always been a top performer) is to use my FMLA to work part time until it runs out.  So basically how that works is I take 2 days a week FMLA (unpaid) and work 3 days a week at 8 1/3 hours a day (25 hours per week).  I get paid for the hours I work, but do not lose any of my fulltime benefits such as medical, dental, sick/personal time, and vacation time and I am able to work part-time.  I will be able to do this until my FMLA runs out (16weeks=80 days; I use 2 days/week for 40 weeks) so I will not have to return to work full time until October or so when Baby O will be 10 months old.  I realize how lucky I am with this situation...and that it is extremely rare.

Jaimers375

It's even harder when they get old enough to say "I don't like when you go to work, I miss you" :-(  DS said that to me this morning before I got on the train.  I'm lucky to work a reduced schedule, so my days aren't as long as they used to be.  I also know that I'd never make it as a SAHM of 2, that would drive me even battier.  

rg8482

amy052006:

moocow12:

I loved my job before maternity leave, and while I still love everyone I work with, my actual job seems stupid and pointless.  I would rather be at home with my DD.  I pretty much do as little work as humanly possible here until I can go home. 

My hours are horrible; 8-5 with an hour commute each way.  I am still working here because the people are great and the work (though pointless) is still kinda fun and I carry the dental insurance.  The time away from DD is really eating at me though so I am starting to look at part time options closer to home.  It is harder than I thought to find part time work that is not fast food or retail...

I totally wish more people would say this.  I looked for part time too -- but really, I wanted half of my hours and at half of my salary, not in fast food or retail.  I see all of the Bumpies who say "Oh, I will probably go back part time at some point" and wonder where, exactly.

 

This is a good point.  How can you find a decent job making decent money working part-time?

It's just difficult in this day and age to own a home and cars, etc with only one working parent. :-

jessakris

I do.

I seriously spend my entire commute every day racking my brain as to what I could do to stay home, and no matter what I figure, it just isn't possible.

It def doesn't help that I am not happy where I am and get absolutely no understanding or flexibility.

rg8482

Jaimers375:

It's even harder when they get old enough to say "I don't like when you go to work, I miss you" :-(  DS said that to me this morning before I got on the train.  I'm lucky to work a reduced schedule, so my days aren't as long as they used to be.  I also know that I'd never make it as a SAHM of 2, that would drive me even battier.  

I'm also afraid of this because she is already attached to me as a 5 month old and is going through a phase where she only wants to be around me and DH, which is a bit odd because she sees both of her grandmothers at least every 2 weeks.

rg8482

jessakris:

I do.

I seriously spend my entire commute every day racking my brain as to what I could do to stay home, and no matter what I figure, it just isn't possible.

It def doesn't help that I am not happy where I am and get absolutely no understanding or flexibility.

This sounds like an even worse situation than mine.  I'm sorry to hear that.

Does no one else have a family where you work?  That just sounds awful.

BabyD22

rg8482:

BabyD22:

I hate working also! The office I work in has 10 people & I am the youngest by 10 years so I have nothing in common with anyone either. I also hate my hours they are 830am - 430pm + 30 min travel time both ways. Z wakes up at 7am & is in bed between 7 & 8pm. To me that is not enough time with him & it makes me so sad!

I have a similar work schedule from 8-4 and my commute time because I walk a little over a mile and take a bus is an hour each way, so I'm away from E for 10 hours total.  I get home and I feed her, bathe her and play with her for a bit before she wants to lay down for the night.  I never feel it's enough time either and I'm sure she feels the same way because she just wants to stay up all night comfort sucking.

I love doing bath & bedtime routine. Once I get home from work I hog Z all to myself.  SO is a SAHD right now cause he is laid off & it makes me so jealous that he gets to spend so much time with Z! He doesn't understand how I feel because he wants to go back to work & get out of the house. I keep hinting I want to try to drop down the 4 day weeks but SO doesn't like that idea (he says we can't really afford me to drop a day). I am just so tired of being unhappy! Being at work is so unproductive. I don't have the ambition to do anything, I just do what I have to & that is still not to the best of my ability. WORKING SUCKS!

 

MotuCat

I know I have no room to complain but even working from home like I do I hate it some days.  Normally I work nights but I still log on during the day and some times I get caught up in what I'm doing.  I feel so guilty sometimes that I chose to work instead of playing with the twins.

On the flip side, work gives me a bit of an outlet to interact with adults so I don't go completely crazy.  Also, working from home keeps them out of daycare so I tend to keep my trap shut and count my blessings.

BabyD22

moocow12:

I loved my job before maternity leave, and while I still love everyone I work with, my actual job seems stupid and pointless.  I would rather be at home with my DD.  I pretty much do as little work as humanly possible here until I can go home. 

My hours are horrible; 8-5 with an hour commute each way.  I am still working here because the people are great and the work (though pointless) is still kinda fun and I carry the dental insurance.  The time away from DD is really eating at me though so I am starting to look at part time options closer to home.  It is harder than I thought to find part time work that is not fast food or retail...

My job is completely pointless also. We publish directories with law enforcement & fire contact information & we are so slow I could probably nap on my desk & no one would notice. I also do as little work as possible, I secretly hope to get fired. I know that sounds horrible.

torii

stylez6:

That's why I don't work.

I think given the situation for many of these ladies (me included) that's not an option. I'm miserable having to work, too and I cry every Sunday without fail. I try to be extra happy to see my students and that tricks me into having a good day most days but I still hate it.

JDO

I just wanted to send you a big over-the-internet hug

jessakris

rg8482:

jessakris:

I do.

I seriously spend my entire commute every day racking my brain as to what I could do to stay home, and no matter what I figure, it just isn't possible.

It def doesn't help that I am not happy where I am and get absolutely no understanding or flexibility.

This sounds like an even worse situation than mine.  I'm sorry to hear that.

Does no one else have a family where you work?  That just sounds awful.

Well, in my situation, DD has been sick a lot, we had a loss in the family (my Grandma, who lived with us and was my very best friend in the world) in January and had to move as a result, which caused me to miss a whole helluva lot of work, which I am now being punished for.

There are several other people who recently had babies, but they have either quit (lucky, lucky), or had normal circumstances, OR they work in a department where they don't necessarily have to come in to work. They can work from home if their LO is sick. The department I work in requires me to be HERE.

So, yeah. That's my deal. Sorry. I didn't mean to steal your suckiness thunder. I think it sucks no matter what. I feel your pain is all.

nadinethequeen01

I don't mind working, I just don't like who I work for.

rg8482

BabyD22:

rg8482:

BabyD22:

I hate working also! The office I work in has 10 people & I am the youngest by 10 years so I have nothing in common with anyone either. I also hate my hours they are 830am - 430pm + 30 min travel time both ways. Z wakes up at 7am & is in bed between 7 & 8pm. To me that is not enough time with him & it makes me so sad!

I have a similar work schedule from 8-4 and my commute time because I walk a little over a mile and take a bus is an hour each way, so I'm away from E for 10 hours total.  I get home and I feed her, bathe her and play with her for a bit before she wants to lay down for the night.  I never feel it's enough time either and I'm sure she feels the same way because she just wants to stay up all night comfort sucking.

I love doing bath & bedtime routine. Once I get home from work I hog Z all to myself.  SO is a SAHD right now cause he is laid off & it makes me so jealous that he gets to spend so much time with Z! He doesn't understand how I feel because he wants to go back to work & get out of the house. I keep hinting I want to try to drop down the 4 day weeks but SO doesn't like that idea (he says we can't really afford me to drop a day). I am just so tired of being unhappy! Being at work is so unproductive. I don't have the ambition to do anything, I just do what I have to & that is still not to the best of my ability. WORKING SUCKS!

 

This is definitely me too.  I come in, do what I have to do and leave.

I'm a customer support specialist so I always have something to do but I constantly have to hear people complain or curse me out and I've avoided being around friends cause a lot of them complain about what they deal with in their lives and I just sit around and listen to everyone.  It sucks but I just wish I could be isolated sometimes to get some peace.

rg8482

JDO:

I just wanted to send you a big over-the-internet hug

Thanks!  I need it!!

BTW, Happy 1/2 to W!!!!  Sorry I'm a day late but I was soooo busy yesterday.

rg8482

MotuCat:

I know I have no room to complain but even working from home like I do I hate it some days.  Normally I work nights but I still log on during the day and some times I get caught up in what I'm doing.  I feel so guilty sometimes that I chose to work instead of playing with the twins.

On the flip side, work gives me a bit of an outlet to interact with adults so I don't go completely crazy.  Also, working from home keeps them out of daycare so I tend to keep my trap shut and count my blessings.

I'm actually amazed at how you're able to work from home with twins.

I temporarily worked from home when E and I even hated that because I still felt like I was neglecting her.  I also had to type and nurse at the same time, which sucked because I love bonding with her and I always had to rush my meal times.

 

rg8482

jessakris:

rg8482:

jessakris:

I do.

I seriously spend my entire commute every day racking my brain as to what I could do to stay home, and no matter what I figure, it just isn't possible.

It def doesn't help that I am not happy where I am and get absolutely no understanding or flexibility.

This sounds like an even worse situation than mine.  I'm sorry to hear that.

Does no one else have a family where you work?  That just sounds awful.

Well, in my situation, DD has been sick a lot, we had a loss in the family (my Grandma, who lived with us and was my very best friend in the world) in January and had to move as a result, which caused me to miss a whole helluva lot of work, which I am now being punished for.

There are several other people who recently had babies, but they have either quit (lucky, lucky), or had normal circumstances, OR they work in a department where they don't necessarily have to come in to work. They can work from home if their LO is sick. The department I work in requires me to be HERE.

So, yeah. That's my deal. Sorry. I didn't mean to steal your suckiness thunder. I think it sucks no matter what. I feel your pain is all.

No offense taken at all. 

In fact, I'm glad you can get all of this off your chest.  I'm also sorry to hear of your loss.  It must be difficult especially if you were very close to your grandma.

It sucks when you have an employer who is not understanding and if anything that is the only thing I like about this place but I seriously hate what I do and the fact that I have no friends here; not that I'm at work to make friends but it's where I spend most of my time.

LemonBlush

I don't like to work. I work 3 12's a week. I'm gone for 14 hours a day, it sucks. I'm glad I have 4 days off a week though, that's the only reason I stay with this job. And I do have a job I could go down to part time with. DH said maybe after we have #2.

rg8482

amy052006:

torii:

stylez6:

That's why I don't work.

I think given the situation for many of these ladies (me included) that's not an option. I'm miserable having to work, too and I cry every Sunday without fail. I try to be extra happy to see my students and that tricks me into having a good day most days but I still hate it.

Ditto.  I lurk on both WM and SAHM, and saw a post yesterday about what some moms do to SAHM, and frankly the financial irresponsibility made me twitchy.  Obviously not the case for everyone, but being home with your five month old isn't so noble that it override all financial common sense.

And of course, then there are heartless heathens like me who actually like working.  

What I have noticed is that once you have a kid you seem to be afforded no middle ground on the subject.  I mean, I had crappy days at work way before I had my LO.  But now, if I'm going to be "away from my baby" everything is suppose to be awesome 24/7.  It's not realistic.

Exactly.  I can think and think of what to do to stay home and just go back to square 1 and the only logical thing is that I HAVE to work for financial reasons.

Trust me, if I was given a choice and DH and I would still have the same amount of money coming in, then I'd definitely stay at home instead of coming here.

kaylacbaby01

Work is ok I guess, but I do hate being away from LO all day. My sister is her sitter so I can call anytime I want to check up on her, I just wish I could work from home or have different hours. I work from 8 to 430 and by the time I get home and get things around I feel like its time for us to go to bed. I live for the weekends when I dont have to go to the office and when I have LO all to myself.

jessakris

rg8482:

No offense taken at all. 

In fact, I'm glad you can get all of this off your chest.  I'm also sorry to hear of your loss.  It must be difficult especially if you were very close to your grandma.

It sucks when you have an employer who is not understanding and if anything that is the only thing I like about this place but I seriously hate what I do and the fact that I have no friends here; not that I'm at work to make friends but it's where I spend most of my time.

Thank you.

I am just taking it a day at a time, trying to get through this phase and see how I feel when it is over. I just keep reminding myself that I am doing this for LO. I would be doing her a major disservice right now if I lost my job. 

You can always look for something else. That doesn't mean you have to take it if it's not what you want. You might even find something that you will enjoy and will provide the flexibility you have at your current job. The perfect thing might just be out there waiting for you to find it.

I hope things get better for you. *big hugs*

 

rg8482

jessakris:

rg8482:

No offense taken at all. 

In fact, I'm glad you can get all of this off your chest.  I'm also sorry to hear of your loss.  It must be difficult especially if you were very close to your grandma.

It sucks when you have an employer who is not understanding and if anything that is the only thing I like about this place but I seriously hate what I do and the fact that I have no friends here; not that I'm at work to make friends but it's where I spend most of my time.

Thank you.

I am just taking it a day at a time, trying to get through this phase and see how I feel when it is over. I just keep reminding myself that I am doing this for LO. I would be doing her a major disservice right now if I lost my job. 

You can always look for something else. That doesn't mean you have to take it if it's not what you want. You might even find something that you will enjoy and will provide the flexibility you have at your current job. The perfect thing might just be out there waiting for you to find it.

I hope things get better for you. *big hugs*

 

Thank you so much for your well wishes!

Maybe one day I will brave it and start looking again, but it may take me a while to find something.

Mrslovebugs

kcl22:

I absolutely hate working. I'm miserable. Borderline depressed. I'm actively looking for something part time. I can commiserate

This is me. I so wish I had the option to SAH, or even work PT. I don't. I have to work FT. 

I try not to complain because I do work from home, however, it's not a WAH job where I am able to have DD here with me. I have to be available and have no interruptions, just like I'd be in the office. So she still has to go to the sitter all day. The only good thing is I don't have the extra time away for commuting to and from work.  And DH has her home around 3, so if I'm not busy I can go snuggle her for a minute. That's the only thing that keeps me sane. If I had to go to the office I'd die.

I absolutely HATE my job too, but the only reason I stay here is well, one I'm not taking the chance of finding a new job in this economy, and two, the fact that I get to work from home. I feel stuck, because I know I'm extremely lucky to get to WAH.

hoping4sticky

I'm fortunate that I work 2 days in the office and another 8 hours at home - spread out between naps/night time. My only real complaint is I got a new boss and he is pretty awful. Otherwise, I am very fortunate.

As to the part-time question, I generally think the easiest/best way to do PT is to drop down from FT work. Obviously this is easiest in some type of corporate setting. I will say that the down side though is I now do FT work for PT pay, but I can't beat the flexibility and expectations.

aabreu32

I hate it and threatened to quit this a.m.