daycare sleeping - vent/advice needed

AimeeL85

Sorry this turned out so long, buy hey, it's my only major vent so far...TIA ladies!

DS is 3 months old today and started daycare yesterday; he's only going 2 days per week.  I like to think he has decent sleep habits for his age - he STTN, takes 2, sometimes 3 naps during the day, and will sleep in his PNP/co-sleeper without a problem. Our only glitch is that he has to be fully asleep before you put him down, he doesn't know how to put himself to sleep.

I gave daycare a heads up that he doesn't go to sleep on his own when put in his crib and they said it was no problem, but yesterday and today they made a few comments that made me think they think we really need to do things differently. They mentioned how a lot of babies will eventually go to sleep if you leave them (this would be CIO for DS), that we have to be noisy at home when he sleeps (we are, actually, he just hasn't adjusted to the sounds of a mob of older, louder babies yelling in the same room he's sleeping in). Then today, one of the teachers said another mom whose baby goes to sleep on their own recommended the book "Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child" to her (as in "I was talking to this mom today about how your baby won't fall asleep on his own.")

I find myself a little annoyed that it seems like it's going to turn into an issue with them already because 1) he just turned 3 months old today and from what I read, they don't really self-soothe much before now, 2) he's only there 2 days per week and is not crying/fussing for them despite missing all his naps, and 3) all but one of the other babies are much older than him (up to 14 months) and really loud. One was kicking and screaming in her crib in the "quiet sleep room" for a good 20 minutes when we dropped him off. They can't expect him to have adjusted to that kind of noise already.

I know I am really venting here, but I'm actually just hoping to get others' advice and opinions. I honestly have intended to help him develop "healthy sleep habits" from the beginning. We're not perfect yet, but I didn't think we were royally messing up.  Should I really run out and buy that book? Is it really bad that he can't fall asleep on his own yet? I thought we were somewhat ahead of the game in some of his sleep habits, but maybe I'm wrong.

 

scout426

If your worried follow your mommy instincts. 

DD is in daycare full time now.  We didn't just throw her into any daycare.  We searched for the one we thought was best.  I have to remind myself of that sometimes when her teachers give us advise or tell us about her good/bad habits.  We picked them because they were the best and came highly recommended.  I thought they were telling me they were gonna have her CIO the first time I dropped her off and told them she had never slept in a flat crib before.  After talking to them a little longer I found that they really just wanted to work on her going down drowsey but not asleep.  We worked on this at home and let me tell you it has cut our bedtime routine down big time.  Maybe this is what they were working towards.  It actually took them a little over a week to get her to take a nap in her crib.  But hey they did it bc they know what they are doing.  If your instincts tell you they don't know what they are doing, find a different care provider.  Otherwise keep talking to them and let them know your worries/fears/desires on taking care of your lo.  

As far as the noise.  With only two days in daycare if you don't raise the noise level in your home on other days I don't see how she will ever be comfortable sleeping at daycare.  I've never been in a quite daycare.  There is always noise coming from somewhere that is louder than the noise you'd have napping at home.  

missbobbijean

I think you need to trust your instincts. You are the mom and are making the right decisions for YOUR child. Either try to work with daycare or find an alternative. If more attention and a quieter environment are more important, you may want to find inhome or nanny care. (My son is the only person our sitter cares for and I love it!)

LordValuemart

I'm about the biggest advocate of just doing what works you'll ever meet. Your baby has to have a certain nap schedule or they'll scream to the point of spontaneous combustion? Well then I guess you get adjusted to it. Your baby won't go to bed until you do the hokey-pokey then stand on your head balancing an egg on your big toe? At least you're getting a work out. Your baby can't fall asleep on his own? Great, more cuddle time My kiddo's almost 4 months old and can't self soothe worth a damn, he goes straight from whimpering for a couple seconds to screaming his face off, so we're in the same boat. I'm not going to let my baby CIO, I'm too soft hearted, I'll rock him to sleep until he doesn't need it anymore, and I don't think your daycare provider has a right to judge what you do to get him to sleep unless you sneak booze in his bottles at home. They make a living taking care of babies, so they, of all people should understand that not all babies are the same and not all can instantly put themselves to sleep when they see fit. I've never seen a 30 year old that had to be rocked to sleep, so I'm fairly sure that what we're doing is perfectly fine and safe, and you shouldn't feel pressured into trying other sleep methods just because your daycare provider says so.

thatsmary

LordValuemart:

I'm about the biggest advocate of just doing what works you'll ever meet. Your baby has to have a certain nap schedule or they'll scream to the point of spontaneous combustion? Well then I guess you get adjusted to it. Your baby won't go to bed until you do the hokey-pokey then stand on your head balancing an egg on your big toe? At least you're getting a work out. Your baby can't fall asleep on his own? Great, more cuddle time My kiddo's almost 4 months old and can't self soothe worth a damn, he goes straight from whimpering for a couple seconds to screaming his face off, so we're in the same boat. I'm not going to let my baby CIO, I'm too soft hearted, I'll rock him to sleep until he doesn't need it anymore, and I don't think your daycare provider has a right to judge what you do to get him to sleep unless you sneak booze in his bottles at home. They make a living taking care of babies, so they, of all people should understand that not all babies are the same and not all can instantly put themselves to sleep when they see fit. I've never seen a 30 year old that had to be rocked to sleep, so I'm fairly sure that what we're doing is perfectly fine and safe, and you shouldn't feel pressured into trying other sleep methods just because your daycare provider says so.

You rock!