2nd Trimester

No family support

I have never been super close to my family and over the years it has just gotten worse and my husband is the same way.  So we knew when we got pregnant that we would be on this journey pretty much alone.  I thought I could handle it but it seems the further along I get the more lonely I get.  I know I have my DH but sometimes I wish we had a bigger family.  My mother passed away when I was 2 months pregnant and I have been devastated by that b/c she was the only person I was really close too.  My MIL acts like shes interested at times, but usually its just to complain or put her problems onto us. I feel sad about this quite often but im so happy about the baby. I seem to have more friends that act like family than family. My DH always says..you have me!  Which I do but sometimes I feel I need others support too.  Is there anyone else who may have a similar situation and if so how r u dealing with this with all the hormones and mood swings???  
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Re: No family support

  • I'm sorry you have to deal with this and I'm very sorry about your mom.

    Do you have friends who can support you? I would also suggest finding other mom-to-bes to hang out with and maybe you can get some support with them. Sign up for some parenting or birthing classes to meet up other moms. You can also try your local board to see if the other moms in your area have get togethers.

    Good luck!


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  • FIrst of all, I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Second of all, I can not relate to your situation exactly, but I do feel lonely at times. Even with family and friends around. Do you have a good close friends network of people that you can talk to? Friends often times take place of family members for those who aren't close to their flesh and blood. And yes of course you love your hubby and you know he's there for you but you need other people to talk to! Try to keep your chin up.

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  • My heart goes out to you. I have been feeling alone lately. Having no one to talk to really sucks. But I liked the suggestion to sign up for classes. The hospital where I'm delivering offers a few classes that I'm going to look into.

     

    I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish I had a better way to cope and that I could tell you. :(  

  • Have you tried writing a letter to your mom?  Maybe it would make you feel better to at least put these feelings down in writing and writing to your mom might make you feel closer to her even though she is no longer with you.

    Can DH explain to his mom how you're feeling and enlist her support?  Or at least her not dumping inconsequential problems on your shoulders?

    Hope you are feeling better soon.

    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
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  • I'm so so sorry about your mom! That's so terrible to experience that at any time, but especially when you're expecting and not all that close with the rest of your family. I suppose I'm sort of in the same boat in that I'm only close with my mother but not with the entire rest of my family and my DH isn't close with his either. My MIL lives about 30 minutes from me and we only see each other every couple of months - that's how NOT close we are with his family. 

    I think the suggestions about classes are a great idea. I've heard that many moms to be find great, lifelong friends in these classes.  I would also recommend that you post this on your local forum on the bump too so that you can possibly meet some moms and moms to be in your local area that you can lean on for friendship and support.  It's not the same as having a close knit family but it can certainly do the trick when you're feeling lonely and at least they've either JUST gone through the same experience you have or are going through it with you, so you won't have as much of the old wives tale "advice" that families tend to dole out.

    Best of luck!!

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