Feeling bad that I tainted my bf's PG excitement

StaceyM06

My best girlfriend just called me to tell me she was pregnant for the first time. She was freaking out because of my past losses and because another friend of hers had an early loss as well. Apparently, she called her OB and demanded to get in now at 6wks. They won't see her until Apr. 19 at 9wks.

If she posted anonymously on a BMB, I probably would have given her a piece of my mind, but IRL I feel guilty that I've contributed to her worries and stress. I reminded her that MCs are not contagious and that every pregnancy is different. I don't know what else to tell her? She's a day ahead of me so I told her that I was PG too. She then lectured me about being positive! What the hell is wrong with us that we can be positive with other people's pregnancies, but not our own?

ewilliams1127

I know for me I always feel like the bad things always just happen to me, not my friends.  So it's easy to cheer them on and give them hope, but more difficult to cheer myself on!

ABaldwin1390

Because it's easier to say than do unfortunately.

I have actually gotten irritated w/my mom telling me to be positive because I can't help but think, "do you not remember what happened last time?"  So frustrating to not be able to be positive when it's what I want but can't do. 

damabo80

I think I'm super jaded. I can't be positive about my own ute or other people's.

 When I hear that someone is TTC, I assume that they'll have issues. When I hear someone is PG, I'm amazed if they will actually take home a baby.

I try my best not to let it show IRL, but through the 'ZOMG congrats!" message I deliver, I mentally guess at which week they'll miscarry in.

KellyM11

Congrats to your friend on her BFP! I think that she is better off knowing that things obviously don't always go as we hope. Although you are feeling bad because you have taken away some of her naiveness, I think it's better to have some knowledge so you can be prepared if things don't work out. I don't know how much you or her other friend talked to her about your losses, but when I told my friends about mine, a few of them asked a lot of questions. These being the ones with no children yet. I didn't mind talking about it because I felt like if I could help inform someone about what I experienced and they in turn hopefully use that info to their advantage, well at least something positive came from my tragedy. I think you are being a good friend by being honest with her. Don't be so hard on yourself and GL to both of you for H&H 9 months!