Pregnant after a Loss

Feeling bad that I tainted my bf's PG excitement

My best girlfriend just called me to tell me she was pregnant for the first time. She was freaking out because of my past losses and because another friend of hers had an early loss as well. Apparently, she called her OB and demanded to get in now at 6wks. They won't see her until Apr. 19 at 9wks.

If she posted anonymously on a BMB, I probably would have given her a piece of my mind, but IRL I feel guilty that I've contributed to her worries and stress. I reminded her that MCs are not contagious and that every pregnancy is different. I don't know what else to tell her? She's a day ahead of me so I told her that I was PG too. She then lectured me about being positive! What the hell is wrong with us that we can be positive with other people's pregnancies, but not our own?

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Re: Feeling bad that I tainted my bf's PG excitement

  • I know for me I always feel like the bad things always just happen to me, not my friends.  So it's easy to cheer them on and give them hope, but more difficult to cheer myself on!
    12/13/10 BFP 12/23/10 Miscarriage 3/6/11 BFP EDD 11/09/11 11/03/11 C-Section at 39w1d for failure to progress on induction for HBP and GD Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic Cincinnati Reds Pictures, Images and Photos image ~~~~~Everyone Welcome PgAL/PAL~~~~~~
  • Because it's easier to say than do unfortunately.

    I have actually gotten irritated w/my mom telling me to be positive because I can't help but think, "do you not remember what happened last time?"  So frustrating to not be able to be positive when it's what I want but can't do. 

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers BabyFruit Ticker
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  • I think I'm super jaded. I can't be positive about my own ute or other people's.

     When I hear that someone is TTC, I assume that they'll have issues. When I hear someone is PG, I'm amazed if they will actually take home a baby.

    I try my best not to let it show IRL, but through the 'ZOMG congrats!" message I deliver, I mentally guess at which week they'll miscarry in.

    BFP #1 via IUI ~ L (Fatal Birth Defect) 4/7/10
    BFP #2 via IUI ~ m/c
    BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
    BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12

  • Congrats to your friend on her BFP! I think that she is better off knowing that things obviously don't always go as we hope. Although you are feeling bad because you have taken away some of her naiveness, I think it's better to have some knowledge so you can be prepared if things don't work out. I don't know how much you or her other friend talked to her about your losses, but when I told my friends about mine, a few of them asked a lot of questions. These being the ones with no children yet. I didn't mind talking about it because I felt like if I could help inform someone about what I experienced and they in turn hopefully use that info to their advantage, well at least something positive came from my tragedy. I think you are being a good friend by being honest with her. Don't be so hard on yourself and GL to both of you for H&H 9 months!
    TTC since Aug 2006 met RE Oct 2007-Lap/Hyst/HSG=normal Boodwork=normal DX:annovulation/poor egg quality DH-SA/Bloodwork=perfect after 4 cycles+IUI finally BFP May 2008 Pre-E/ HELLP DS born C/S Jan 26,2009 = LOVE OF OUR LIFE Surprise BFP Dec 2010 EDD AUG 22,2011 natural M/C @ 9 wks baby measured 6 wks March 2011 BFP! EDD Nov 22,2011 PLEASE, PLEASE STICK LO Beta 3/16-103 Prog-22 Beta 3/18-261 Beta 3/21-973 Prog-19 Beta 3/23-1975 BabyFruit Ticker
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