Attachment Parenting
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AP suggestions for older adopted kids?
Hi ladies,
I need a little advice. I have two wonderful children that came into our lives when they were 1 and 3 years. The older one especially missed out on a lot as he was in various foster homes in his short years. I know I can't replace all the bad he has experienced in his life but I was hoping you ladies might have recommendations on things we can do now. We cosleep often with our 27 month old however our 4yo prefers to sleep in his bed (as he never had a bed of his own before).
Thanks so much for any assistance you can give!
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Re: AP suggestions for older adopted kids?
I would recommend "Toddler Adoption: A Weaver's Craft" and "Parenting the Hurt Child." Also there's a website that is helpful: www.a4everfamily.org.
This book has some good information.
https://www.amazon.com/Attaching-Adoption-Practical-Todays-Parents/dp/0944934293
we are foster parents and struggled with attachement issues when FS was first placed with us (at 3.5 years old). Positive parenting was far and away the best attachment tool we could use. Being positive, predictible, and calm allowed FS to trust us and feel comfortable with us. If you would like a book rec, i found Love, Lessons & Limits by Bill Corbett to be really helpful - he actually works with a number of foster kids so his methods lend themselves well to children with that background.
Aside from that, its just a bunch of little things:
- lots of eye contact (when he was ready)
- getting down to his level whenever possible
- as much physical closeness (hugs, cuddles, rocking) as he would allow
- swimming together (he doesnt swim independently so it "forces" closeness and trust)
- he's petite so we actually even wore him in the ergo which he LOVED (though we didn't try this until he was with us at least 8-9 months)
- making tents or forts with blankets and reading/playing in them
Good luck and congrats on your two awesome children!!
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