Military Families

ok dumb question

DH is deploying, in april, im due in may and we are wondering if we send a red cross message when i go into labor would they send him home?

now i know that it varies from deployment to deployment, but are there any other ladies that have done this and they send them home if only for a few days, its still a few days to spend with his first. 

If not, we are already prepared for him not being there, but i thought we could at least try...

thanks! 

Re: ok dumb question

  • My hubby left in early November and I had our baby the end of December. He got early R&R. He was supposed to come the day before our due date but the baby had other plans and came a little early. He missed the birth but was there two days after. It was great having him there but we wont see him again until the end of deployment.

    Good luck and I hope he gets to be there. It's good you are prepared for him not to be there. I know I wasnt. I told myself he would come bursting in the labor and delivery unit all 19 hours of my labor. Crying

  • A) No, a Red Cross message alone wouldn't get him home unless you have some emergency with the delivery/baby and he takes emergency leave (delivering a baby normally is not an emergency, though). Depending on the unit, his emergency leave is likely to be his only leave, so it would cancel out a later R&R.

    B) Usually there is a window at the start of deployment before soldiers can start taking R&R... with this deployment my DH left mid-Aug and no one got R&R before start of Oct (roughly 6-8 weeks), so having your DH be granted R&R within a shorter time frame is unlikely to occur. (*Some* units have been known to let a soldier stay behind on Rear D for a few weeks and deploy late if their baby is due really early in the deployment, but this is not a rule by any means.)

    C) *Personally* I wouldn't advocate him even asking for the earliest R&R date allowed (two women did that this deployment who had Oct babies and they have both been so bummed ever since) because you will be exhausted from the new LO and less able to enjoy your time with him, and then it will be a lonnnng time before you see him again (assuming you're talking about a yearlong deployment - I could see if it was just 6 months, though).

    Good luck! Hope you have a healthy delivery and that whenever he meets his new LO, it's a wonderful R&R Smile

     

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  • It does vary from deployment to deployment , and what branch your DH is in . I know a close friend of ours did not make it home for the birth , and was only home 48 hours when he did get to come .

     I hope you are prepared either way ! But have a healthy delivery ! & Just remember , it's alll worth it in the end .

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  • Like the other girls said it totally depends on the branch . Navy my husband said absolutely not.

    Married 11/27/09 and TTC right away
    Dx: Complete septate uterus with cervical duplication, endometrial polyps, PCOS, endometriosis, hypo thyroid, luteal phase defect
    4 uterus surgeries to correct my complete septum and to remove polyps and 2 years of seeing the RE, medicated cycles and IUIs
    Baby 1 and 2: BFP 3/3/11 with 2 babies EDD 11/1/11, M/C 4/6/11
    Baby #3: 8/11 pregnant EDD 4/27/11 and m/c:(
    Baby #4: 10/12/11 BFP! EDD 6/16/12m/c 10/26/11
    Baby #5: 3/13/12 BFP! EDD 11/25/12 ANOTHER m/c :(

    Baby #6: 2/14/13- BFP! EDD 10/24/13, CP 2/19/13
    Baby #7: 3/15/13- BFP! EDD 11/27/13, another CP
    Baby #8.  BFP 5/19/13 EDD 1/22/14. 8 was not our lucky number

    4th septum resection on 5/31/13.
    Baby #9: 6/29/13 BFP. C section scheduled for March 5th!

    My miracle baby was born March 5 at 9:33am. He was 8 lbs 12.5 oz and 21.25 inches long!

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  • image momma4jax:

    DH is deploying, in april, im due in may and we are wondering if we send a red cross message when i go into labor would they send him home?

    now i know that it varies from deployment to deployment, but are there any other ladies that have done this and they send them home if only for a few days, its still a few days to spend with his first. 

    If not, we are already prepared for him not being there, but i thought we could at least try...

    thanks! 

     

    We are also Navy. My best friend (and husbands LPO's wife) had a baby in June. They flew him home a few days before she was due and stayed until the boat pulled into port again and then flew back. It was worked out before they left so they approved it. If you call your ombudsman and let her know that you are in labor they will get the message to your husband. Depending on his rate/rank they might not be able to afford him leaving. I hope he can come home to see his baby born.  Good luck :)


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  • Totally varies, and I would say do NOT get your hopes up. I hear a lot of "no ways" except from one friend who ended up in an emergency c-section.

    But anything can happen!

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  • We have been prepared for him to not be there since we found out he was leaving for deployment. We just recently thought of a Red Cross message. He is in the Navy and he talked to his Chief who is going to with them on deployment, and he said that if they are somewhere where they can send him back and he gets the RCM then that would send him back. 

    Now, the question is..... will they send the message.... lol..... im honestly already prepared for my husband not to be there, which kind of crushes me because, granted this is my second, but its his first, and he has wanted to have more kids for so long, and he will miss the birth and the first 6-7 months. :( Which is how old DS#1 was when he met us. So its going to be like that all over again. I just feel bad for him.

    I know the hospital (Wright Patt) offers a video conference with deployed husbands during the birth. But the only thing with that is there is no guarantee that he will be available for that. He could be underway, asleep, working, on the flight deck, eating... the amount of things he could be doing for us to not be able to get a hold him are endless... I guess the only other thing is to video it, and the thought of that kinda creeps me out. 

  • He's not going to get emergency leave for the birth unless there is a critical problem with you or the baby.
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  • I'm sure it depends on the branch. DH came home 2 months early from deployment to be home for DS's due date. He's in the Air Force.
  • image Lissa832:
    He's not going to get emergency leave for the birth unless there is a critical problem with you or the baby.

     

    emergency leave, regular leave, any kind of leave it doesnt matter. his chief told him they would send him if he got the message saying that the baby was coming. now i just need to find out if they'll send one

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  • When my husband was deployed none of the guys who had babies were allowed to come home. I know some are different you just have to find out. Also one of my b.f's was one of the wives who had a baby and when she went into labor she called the red cross in hopes he could skype or at least call her and red cross told her to call back when she had the baby because they wouldnt tell him till then. Luckily he was calling home every day to check on her and he called in time so he was able to stay on the phone through the birth. Good luck !!!!!
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  • I asked my husband and he LOL'd.  Out of the 15 wives in our unit that gave birth last year, 13 did it without their husband.  Sorry girl, I don't think so.
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