Unbelievable FB Message (sorry it got long)

lhicks13

...so I got a message on facebook from a woman my mom is friends with.  We are very friendly when we see each other, but we don't communicate outside of functions my mom hosts. 

Today I got a message from her with the subject line saying:

"Incase you and Mike are still undecided"

...inside the message? A link to a video with the headline that says "NO MEDICAL ORGANIZATION IN THE WORLD RECOMMENDS INFANT CIRCUMCISION"

 

UHHH....seriously?  This woman is probably the last person I'd take parenting advice from, but to send someone u are "acquaintances" with this message?

Maybe I should note, her and her husband had to use IVF to get pregnant with their daughter who just turned 3 a few weeks ago.  The mom refuses to stop breastfeeding her (not pumping, BREAST) and won't attempt to put her daughter in a toddler bed.

I don't mean to sound judgey, to each it's own but- IMO, if your kid is holding a full on conversation with your boob in her mouth, it might be time to take it out. 

And I can understand the bed thing if safety is your reasoning.

I guess my point is, how can someone who shelters their kid SO much (these are just a few big examples I can think of off the top of my head) just feel it OK to send a message like that to someone on fb? I just don't get it. I just ignored her, I couldn't think of anything to say w/o being a total b!tch.

Scout05

I don't appreciate having agendas of any kind pushed on to me, so I would be annoyed as well. Her parenting style is her business, and the same goes for you.

Personally, I would probably reply with something letting her know that this was out of line, and that you and your husband will make the decisions for your child without other's input, and to kindly refrain from sending these types of things again.

But I'm confrontational like that.

lhicks13

Scout05:

I don't appreciate having agendas of any kind pushed on to me, so I would be annoyed as well. Her parenting style is her business, and the same goes for you.

Personally, I would probably reply with something letting her know that this was out of line, and that you and your husband will make the decisions for your child without other's input, and to kindly refrain from sending these types of things again.

But I'm confrontational like that.

I am super confrontational usually too, but this being my mom's friend, I didn't want to cause any drama for her.  People just somehow continue to amaze me, even though they shouldn't.

MissLadyTay

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you gave the background information you did about her parenting choices merely as evidence of why you and she do not see eye to eye.  Because you come off as pretty judgey yourself.  I don't see what IVF or breastfeeding has to do with sending rude Facebook messages.

 That said, I would respond to her with something like this: "Dear So-and-so, The choices my husband and I make for our child are private.  We have not solicited public input on this or any other parenting decision.  I was, frankly, shocked and dismayed to receive the message you sent me.  Please keep your opinions to yourself in the future.  Best wishes, Your Name."

That ought to nip her in the bud.

lhicks13

MissLadyTay:

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you gave the background information you did about her parenting choices merely as evidence of why you and she do not see eye to eye.  Because you come off as pretty judgey yourself.  I don't see what IVF or breastfeeding has to do with sending rude Facebook messages.

 That said, I would respond to her with something like this: "Dear So-and-so, The choices my husband and I make for our child are private.  We have not solicited public input on this or any other parenting decision.  I was, frankly, shocked and dismayed to receive the message you sent me.  Please keep your opinions to yourself in the future.  Best wishes, Your Name."

That ought to nip her in the bud.

I would never say anything to her (or anyone else) about their parenting choices, unless asked.  I wasn't saying anything against IVF, I should have thrown in there that I feel that's why she is "hanging on", so to speak, to babying her child, as I'm sure she won't have anymore.  More of a reason I wouldn't ever say anything to her. I do feel she should stop breast feeding, but once again, that's my opinion and to each it's own.  I wouldn't say it to her, bc that's her parenting choice. But for her to try to push her opinions on me, when her choices are "untraditional" or..very different from the "normal" are just beyond me.  Even if they were the normal, still no need to send them to me. 

lhicks13

SouthSideDrea:

Wow. See, I don't think you sound any better than she does, except that you are talking sh!t to strangers and she decided to talk to you. Frankly I don't care for other people's unsolicited advice, but maybe you should hold yourself to the same standard on the judgement front.

I do hold myself to a standard. I said, to each their own, whatever floats your boat as long as you aren't hurting anyone else.  I have opinions that differ from hers, or yorus, or anyone else's about raising my children.  Just because I mentioned what she does that I don't agree with doesn't mean I'm judgemental, merely stating how we differ.  I know she has her reasons/beliefs for doing what she does, but that's no reason to put 2 cents into my decisions for my children. 

lhicks13

Ok, if I came off judgemental, so be it. I don't care how anyone else raises their kid. It's YOUR choice, as how I raise mine, is mine.  There are multiple reasons (other than the ones I listed) that she and I differ in raising children, those were just the first few that popped up in my head.  My WHOLE point was just that I couldn't believe someone would send someone a message like that, especially to someone you rarely tak to.

If I offended any of you, it wasn't on purpose. I was only venting as I know all of us have had unsolicited advice/comments/other things thrown upon us during our pregnancies and it has helped me many times to vent here on TB simply just to get it off my chest.  If my opinions of how to raise people come off as judgemental, they weren't meant to, just stating my stand on things and how we differ from each other.  For women who BF-I have a great respect for you, because it takes a lot of hard work and determination and I absolutely know that. My opinions are my opnions, as yours are yours.

For me the best part of TB has always been reading all of the controversy and different opnions as it opens up so many points of views that I would never think of on my own.  I have always only stated my opinion or POV on things, and never purposely disrespected or attacked someone because of a way they think/feel.  So, if you don't agree with how I felt about this topic, or how I approached it, I'm sorry, but I am not sorry for my opinions/stance. 

Now, off to watch American Idol and relax for the night with a bowl of ice cream.

bea0422

shannonalise:

lhicks13:

MissLadyTay:

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you gave the background information you did about her parenting choices merely as evidence of why you and she do not see eye to eye.  Because you come off as pretty judgey yourself.  I don't see what IVF or breastfeeding has to do with sending rude Facebook messages.

 That said, I would respond to her with something like this: "Dear So-and-so, The choices my husband and I make for our child are private.  We have not solicited public input on this or any other parenting decision.  I was, frankly, shocked and dismayed to receive the message you sent me.  Please keep your opinions to yourself in the future.  Best wishes, Your Name."

That ought to nip her in the bud.

I would never say anything to her (or anyone else) about their parenting choices, unless asked.  I wasn't saying anything against IVF, I should have thrown in there that I feel that's why she is "hanging on", so to speak, to babying her child, as I'm sure she won't have anymore.  More of a reason I wouldn't ever say anything to her. I do feel she should stop breast feeding, but once again, that's my opinion and to each it's own.  I wouldn't say it to her, bc that's her parenting choice. But for her to try to push her opinions on me, when her choices are "untraditional" or..very different from the "normal" are just beyond me.  Even if they were the normal, still no need to send them to me. 

Wow. How much research have you done on BFing beyond whatever arbitrary age you believe is the "norm" or cut-off? I'm going to assume by your statements that you just believe her BFing a child who just turned 3 years old to be "weird" with no evidence or research to back it up. I guarantee you that she has probably chosen to continue BFing her child for other more important reasons than what you believe is her "hanging on" to her baby because of prior fertility issues. That's the most ignorant and assuming thing I've ever heard.

No kidding! There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing an opinion or stance on something and there is no need to apologize because your parenting choices differ from anothers. It is MY opinion that if your going to form an opinion, do so with valid information. I'm sure that whatever your parenting philosphy, you have put a lot of time into choosing it. The same, I'm sure, goes for your mom's friend.

It deffinately was innapropriate to send that message though. That would upset me for sure.