Pissed off — The Bump
Secondary IF

Pissed off

We get all the way to md office and Dh backs out office his sa! I'm beyond livid. He says it's too unatural. I'm so pissed right now. It's the least he could do for me. Im trying to hold it's together. But basically if he rd refuses to do this my hopes are shot for any future fertility interventions.
M/C 11/06, Jackson 9-22-07 Jordan 6-26-09, Jeremiah 1-5-12
[IMG]http://i46.tinypic.com/4rarvc.jpg[/IMG]

Here we go with 2 under 2 again. BFP July 28 - totally unexpected!!

<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt9bb83.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0" /></a>

Re: Pissed off

  • What about having him make a sample at home?  My DH was uncomfortable with the idea of 'producing' at the doctor's office initially; he was forced to later when we had IUIs and IVF but by then the doctor told him it was important he provide a super fresh sample for the procedures. 

    He did do his SA at home though.  Maybe your DH would be open to that (at least it could open the door).  I'm so sorry.

  • I was going to ask the same question as Kelly.  Maybe he would do a sample at home?  That way you could get the initial testing done to see how everything looks. My DH also did that the first few times, and it didn't make him nearly as nervous as doing one in the doctor's office.  By the time we got to IVF, he was totally fine with going into the office.
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    TTC #2, Operative hysteroscopy March 2011; IVF #1 long lupron protocol April 2011-cancelled due to poor response; IVF #2 flare protocol May 2011=hospitalization due to abdominal hemorrhage during ER and no fert due to MFI issues. Moving onto international adoption from Moldova January 2013!
  • Loading the player...
  • My DH did not want to go in and do it either.  We were allowed to collect the sample at home and then when I had the sample I would bundle it up (winter time) and take the little swimmers in for him.  Embarrassed Is that an option for you?
    Alyssa born 6/14/05 at 8 lbs 2oz - Ashley born 3/27/10 at 6 lbs 13oz
    We had 2 years of IF trying to conceive #2 and one loss during that time. We are currently trying for #3! had another loss the end of June
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I saw someone posted about IUI's .  I was still able to collect the sample that morning at home, then I would go and drop it off for it to be cleaned and washed and then I would go back in a few hours for my IUI.  So he did not even have to go in for that... he was still able to do it at home, I just had to have it in to the Dr. within 30 min. I think of when we collected it.
    Alyssa born 6/14/05 at 8 lbs 2oz - Ashley born 3/27/10 at 6 lbs 13oz
    We had 2 years of IF trying to conceive #2 and one loss during that time. We are currently trying for #3! had another loss the end of June
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • First, I'm so sorry, that's so stressful for you!

    Second, though, have you seen the rooms where they have to do it? I mean, even in our RE's state of the art facility, the rooms were not conducive to both ergonomics and practicality. So I do feel for him.

    In our case, we couldn't do it at home, because they need the sample within 30 minutes, and we'd be lucky to hit that for either of our RE's locations, we're right smack in the middle.

    So what we did for his last SA and our IUI is [Warning: TMI alert: I go in with him, and while he does it mostly on his own, I'm, you know, available for say a boobie rub or extra hands on..., plus I hold the specimen jar for him until the last minute, aim can be tough.]

    Anyway. I wish you guys the best. DH was miserable the first time when he went alone 3 years ago.

     

    The joy of his first LC cupcake!


    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/3495cli.jpg[/IMG]
    [IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/m8l75t.jpg[/IMG]
    [IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/143kcxk.jpg[/IMG]


    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb3f.lilypie.com/J639m7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Third Birthday tickers" /></a>

    <img src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-4fMBAMr-gaw/TqodVl_W41I/AAAAAAAAADg/zAAWIGopPWc/s144/Dori.jpg" alt="Dori"/> <img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47a1cc24b3127ccefe9e239f0f9800000030O00AcsWLJq4cNGQPbz4E/cC/f%3D0/ps%3D50/r%3D0/rx%3D550/ry%3D400/" width="180px"/>
  • I am sorry sweetie.  I would be so beyond mad too!  I agree with Kelly about possiby producing a sample at home. 

    I personally don't see the big deal about a man spanking it in a DR office. The 1st time DH had to produce a sample and deliver it to the lab, he got stuck in traffic and was so stressed about getting it there on time.  When he finally did get there, he ran into a friend of ours.  He wanted to die.  Lesson learned. 

    Also, if my hubby complained for 1 second about needing to produce a sample by achieving an orgasm, I would give him a real reason to get checked out.  After all we have been through, carrying our LOs and giving birth to them and now what we are doing to get pregnant with the next LO....I have zero sympanthy for men and SA. 

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
    image
    Dori image
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
  • I just want to add that I in no way meant to offend you or insult you. I am just so upset for you and by no means did I mean to try to get you fired up.  I would give anything to be able to "get off" as opposed to my morning photo sessions with the dildo cam.  I am so sorry if I offended you in any way Right Hug

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
    image
    Dori image
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
  • JMayJMay member

    UGH!  How frustrating!!!  My DH almost did that to me - called me freaking out - I had to run interference between the REs nurse and the lab techs.  When he described the experience, I felt so badly - it sounded horried.  I agree with PP - is there any way he can collect at home, maybe with your, ahem, loving help?  In spite of all we go through, I think as women, we sort of expect some loss of dignity at the hands of medical staff, whereas men seem to view it very differently. 

    Big (HUGS) and GL!

     

    Edit after reading other reponses (TMI): I'd take the dildo cam any day over the idea of having to reach orgasm in the docs office. Ain't.gonna.happen.  

    Dori image
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

    Miracle DD born 12.2005
    TTC #2 since Dec 2008 w/ PCOS
    ***P/SAIF Always Welcome***

    Keep it Natural, Baby!
  • Omgosh Amanda no offense taken. I agree with you. I feel like all they have to do is what they have done all their lives. I'm still barely talking to DH. it'll take me a day or two. But we're defiantly are going to have to talk about it. I'm going to call the md office tomorrow to ask about doing it at home.
    M/C 11/06, Jackson 9-22-07 Jordan 6-26-09, Jeremiah 1-5-12
    [IMG]http://i46.tinypic.com/4rarvc.jpg[/IMG]

    Here we go with 2 under 2 again. BFP July 28 - totally unexpected!!

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt9bb83.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0" /></a>
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards