Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Mom's separation anxiety

Hey just wondering if any of you still haven't spent a night away from your little one. I get so nervous thinking about not being with DS for one night. DH thinks I have detachment issues, but I tell him he could leave for the night and I would still be perfectly fine. I just don't want to leave DS for the night. Do any of you still refuse to leave your LO at grandma's for the night? Or am I a little ridiculous like DH says?
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Re: Mom's separation anxiety

  • I certainly won't judge and say you're ridiculous but have you left him for any extended period of time?  Like, has he spent all day with grandma?  Think about what specifically makes you nervous so you can work on addressing it.  Really, unless your kid wakes up a ton, it's easier leaving them overnight than with grandma or someone for the bulk of the day.  If something was going to go wrong, chances are it'll happen when he's up and around, eating, etc., kwim? :-p
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  • I agree with the PP, unless they wake up still at night, it's much easier than during the day. I've left him overnight a few times. He's going to be fine. What would ypi be missing out on? He sleeps at someone else's house? Not really a big deal.
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  • I have left her once overnight with my mom when we went to a sports game.  We went to get her really early the next day because neither of us could sleep in really the hosue just felt weird.  My mom says I'll get over that and welcome to offers to stay at Grandmas someday but I'm not there yet either.  I like to be the one to put her to bed and when she gets up all excited to see me.
  • To me, it's ridiculous.  This kid goes to grandma's for the night whenever she'll take him.  
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  • No, we haven't.  He does not sttn and has been so sick, it's not worth it right now.  He is also going through some pretty big sep anxiety, and everything I read says routine and familiar surroundings are best.  That and the times we've gone away with him, he does not sleep.  Our most recent trip was last month for 4 nights and we slept in shifts.  It was hell.
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  • imageteamsweet:
    No, we haven't.  He does not sttn and has been so sick, it's not worth it right now.  He is also going through some pretty big sep anxiety, and everything I read says routine and familiar surroundings are best.  That and the times we've gone away with him, he does not sleep.  Our most recent trip was last month for 4 nights and we slept in shifts.  It was hell.

    Pretty much this, exactly. We've left him here with MIL while going out (after I've put him to sleep) and  both times we got back and he had been up for an hour+. It's like he knows to wake up (he never wakes up before 3:30 when we're here), and then she can't get him back to sleep. 

  • We will leave him at my parent's house, go out for a while, and then come home and spend the night at their place because he doesn't STTN.  They've said as soon as he is, he's welcome to spend the night, but until then, they don't want to have to get up with him in the middle of the night.  I understand that.

    As for having anxiety about leaving your LO- a very close friend of mine is like this.  She has gone out twice- once to target where she cried and came home and the other time she went out with friend and left her DD with her mother.  It went better, but she only stayed out for 2 hours.  That's the longest she's been away from her.  She doesn't even leave the LO with the father (not because she doesn't think the father is capable).  She just has anxiety about it. 

    If you feel like you're having a little anxiety about leaving your LO, I would push yourself a little, take it slow with the length of time you're gone, but work up to an overnight. 

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  • imagedoremi29:

    We will leave him at my parent's house, go out for a while, and then come home and spend the night at their place because he doesn't STTN.  They've said as soon as he is, he's welcome to spend the night, but until then, they don't want to have to get up with him in the middle of the night.  I understand that.

    As for having anxiety about leaving your LO- a very close friend of mine is like this.  She has gone out twice- once to target where she cried and came home and the other time she went out with friend and left her DD with her mother.  It went better, but she only stayed out for 2 hours.  That's the longest she's been away from her.  She doesn't even leave the LO with the father (not because she doesn't think the father is capable).  She just has anxiety about it. 

    If you feel like you're having a little anxiety about leaving your LO, I would push yourself a little, take it slow with the length of time you're gone, but work up to an overnight. 

    Now THAT is ridiculous. I leave him whenever my mom offers, and ask when she doesn't if I need her to.
  • We've left my daughter with my parents for the day many times. I left her overnight once because I had surgery and I had great anxiety about it but we both got through it! Good luck.
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  • imageMrs.LM625:
    We've left my daughter with my parents for the day many times. I left her overnight once because I had surgery and I had great anxiety about it but we both got through it! Good luck.

    Maybe once every 3 months they spend the night at grandma's ! They love it there but they also STTN.


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