Pinkwoman's clicky poll got me thinking...WWYD?

ishka338

We went last night for our hospital tour and they informed us that only 3 people can be allowed into my room while in L&D.  They are on a list and the 3 can not be changed. (1 is also DH, so 2 more).  Once I am moved to a postpartum room, then I can have any 3 people at a time during visiting hours.

My dilema is that I only want DH in the room when I'm pushing and I figured that my parents and his would come by and see me while I was laboring, but that idea has gone out the window.  So, I could ask my mom and dad, but then I feel like DH and his family might have hard feelings.  If I just ask our 2 moms, then maybe our dads, especially mine, might feel left out.  I know it's not about them, so would it be terrible to just tell all the parents that it will only be MH on the list and they can be the first ones to come visit once we move to the postpartum room?

My only concern with that is if I labor for 30 hours, then DH might need a break and then no one else would be there for him.  WWYD?  Thanks!

KrysmarieG10

I have to have a c-section- so I don't have to really think about this.  Before I knew that I  had to have it though, I  had already made my mind up on who would be allowed in the room.  Number one- DH would be in there with me.. and then a possibility of my mother... and that's it.  I think it's who and what you feel comfortable with.  I know I would not want my dad (if he was still alive), my MIL, or anyone else in the room.  I remember how much my SIL was in pain when she was in labor- its just a personal/private time & I don't think I could be comfortable with just anyone in the room watching me be in pain ..  Only worry about yourself & your DH on this one and what you two would be comfortable with!

Pinkwoman

They wont let you rotate? That's silly.

IMO, have DH obviously and maybe the moms. Then the dads can come see right after??

But first I would clarify that you can't rotate your three people...

bcspagirl

my mom and my dh will be the only ones allowed in for the nitty gritty but my dad will be allowed to come in before hand incase dh needs a break or anything happens ......dh mom is wayyyyyy to bossy and tries to control EVERYTHING and fil just goes with what she does so they wont be allowed in and dh and i have talked and agreed on this

3Girls3xsTheFun

It's the same at my hospital. The visitors get "banded" with red bracelets, so there is no switching out. Those 3 people are the only ones you can have in your room during labor & delivery.

I mean, I understand that they need to limit the amount of people in the room, but it does stink if you have a large family that wants to visit with you while you labor.

My 3 people will be DH, my mom & my MIL. My dad & FIL aren't interested in the before part -- just the after part where they get to see the baby! 

ishka338

3Girls3xsTheFun:

It's the same at my hospital. The visitors get "banded" with red bracelets, so there is no switching out. Those 3 people are the only ones you can have in your room during labor & delivery.

I mean, I understand that they need to limit the amount of people in the room, but it does stink if you have a large family that wants to visit with you while you labor.

My 3 people will be DH, my mom & my MIL. My dad & FIL aren't interested in the before part -- just the after part where they get to see the baby! 

They reason they gave was for security and for health.  I totally get that.  I wouldn't want a ton of strangers walking around outside my door or a bunch of sick people around if I didn't have to. 

I think I will bring it up to my parents and see if they can be any help.  I was thinking about maybe just adding my mom as a relief for DH and leave it at that.  DH wasn't up for much talking last night, so I guess I should see where he stands on the whole thing too.  Thanks ladies!

DuckDuckGoose123

Maybe give them a choice?  Explain the circumstances, and tell each set of parents that one of them can join you, and let them decide?  I assume the two moms would, but at least you're letting them decide rather than making anyone feel left out.

SarahAndBen09

ishka338:

We went last night for our hospital tour and they informed us that only 3 people can be allowed into my room while in L&D.  They are on a list and the 3 can not be changed. (1 is also DH, so 2 more).  Once I am moved to a postpartum room, then I can have any 3 people at a time during visiting hours.

My dilema is that I only want DH in the room when I'm pushing and I figured that my parents and his would come by and see me while I was laboring, but that idea has gone out the window.  So, I could ask my mom and dad, but then I feel like DH and his family might have hard feelings.  If I just ask our 2 moms, then maybe our dads, especially mine, might feel left out.  I know it's not about them, so would it be terrible to just tell all the parents that it will only be MH on the list and they can be the first ones to come visit once we move to the postpartum room?

My only concern with that is if I labor for 30 hours, then DH might need a break and then no one else would be there for him.  WWYD?  Thanks!

In my opinion, if it's 30 hours of labor and you don't get a break from it then why should your DH?    I've always only wanted my DH in the room, though.  I'm sure he'll bring a book or something to pass the time if it's a long labor.  heh.    

norbert5

Honestly, I think you are being way too nice.  DH doesn't need a break.  He can rest or whatever but I wouldn't worry about him needing a break.

If I had to have preset list I most likely choose my mom and another woman.  I seriously would not want my father or FIL in the room.  It is not the kind of situation I would want another man in the room for unless he has some kind of medical qualification, like doctor.