So wdyt of this weird situation?

ABColeslaw

I had a friend in highschool (It was a tiny school...think about 60 kids in the graduating class)  Anyway, a rumor went around junior year that she was having an affair with one of our teachers.  So She was like 16 and he was like 35.  Anyway, he was married and had three kids of his own.  So this friend denied they were having an affiar, but the school suspended our teacher anyway.  She had us all pretty much convinced that it never happened. 

Anyway flash forward to the present.  We all lost touch after highschool.    This girl found me on FB not too long ago and she is A.  Married to our old teacher now and B. Pregnant.  So I asked her right out if she was having an affair with Mr. Blank in highschool and she said "Oh, yeah, but call him A---- now"  Then wanted to know if Phill and I want to hang out with them...you know as a couples get together.  I just don't know if I can?  I mean this dude was my teacher!  I feel weird about it.  I know shes of age now, but they were getting it on when  she was 16 and he was in his late thirties!  Plus theres the whole he was married thing.   Its just weird for me.  

mrstarawalsh

I'm married to an older man and I even think that's odd. I'd be blunt with her and tell her you think you'd be uncomfortable and ask that she understands.

ABColeslaw

mrstarawalsh:

I'm married to an older man and I even think that's odd. I'd be blunt with her and tell her you think you'd be uncomfortable and ask that she understands.

Its not the older thing for me.  I think its the legal thing/teacher/affair thing.  

Dreamsicle23

That's really weird.  it would definitely make me uncomfortable.

DaisyFull

So don't do it. If you haven't been in touch with her all this time, and even now it's only on facebook... I wouldn't call it much of a loss.

susie985

Wow that is a weird situation! It's not like she is your best friend though, so I would just tell her as nice as you can that you are uncomfortable with the situation.

I think it's gross that this much older man was getting it on with her when she was only 16. Especially him being married with kids at the time. That whole thing is just messed up!

delphinus12

DaisyFull:

So don't do it. If you haven't been in touch with her all this time, and even now it's only on facebook... I wouldn't call it much of a loss.

 Yeah, I think it just comes down to how invested you are in rekindling the friendship. If you are invested you can probably find a way to get over the weirdness. If not, no big loss...

emily0829

DaisyFull:

So don't do it. If you haven't been in touch with her all this time, and even now it's only on facebook... I wouldn't call it much of a loss.

This.

 

aocain02@yahoo.com

You aren't in high school anymore so who cares.  If you want to try to reconnect with this girl, hang out.  If you don't, tell her no.  Sure it may be weird, but it's not like he's your teacher anymore.

mrstarawalsh

ABColeslaw:

mrstarawalsh:

I'm married to an older man and I even think that's odd. I'd be blunt with her and tell her you think you'd be uncomfortable and ask that she understands.

Its not the older thing for me.  I think its the legal thing/teacher/affair thing.  

 

Yeah I totally get that... I'd be a little freaked.

ABColeslaw

ALG29:

You aren't in high school anymore so who cares.  If you want to try to reconnect with this girl, hang out.  If you don't, tell her no.  Sure it may be weird, but it's not like he's your teacher anymore.

Yeah I guess.  I don't know why it feels so weird then.  Have you ever gone back to visit old teachers and have them tell you to call them by first name?  That feels weird enough.  

robinsokj

I think you could benefit from not making things more difficult than they need to be. 

And ditto Daisy

aocain02@yahoo.com

ABColeslaw:

ALG29:

You aren't in high school anymore so who cares.  If you want to try to reconnect with this girl, hang out.  If you don't, tell her no.  Sure it may be weird, but it's not like he's your teacher anymore.

Yeah I guess.  I don't know why it feels so weird then.  Have you ever gone back to visit old teachers and have them tell you to call them by first name?  That feels weird enough.  

I have, but only a couple teachers and it was the couple that had a big impact on me in high school.  They actually told me that I don't have to call them Mr. X anymore.  If it's weird for you and you haven't seen her in years and don't really want her in your life so much as a friend because of what she did, then I just wouldn't hang out.

ABColeslaw

robinsokj:

I think you could benefit from not making things more difficult than they need to be. 

And ditto Daisy

Dude, really?  I just asked what people thought.  And admitted a not so everyday in my life situation made me feel a little weird.  Its not like I said I am losing sleep over it.  

doremi29

Yeah, the age difference I have no problem with (although a 19 year age difference isn't cool when one is 16 years old!) but the teacher thing grosses me out.  It's one thing if she was his student and they didn't hook up until after, but the lack of morals there is a little disturbing- especially seeing that he had a family of his own.

 

May08CapeBride

Dreamsicle23:

That's really weird.  it would definitely make me uncomfortable.

This.

sucrets4

Ohhhh, I so don't blame you for not wanting to hang out.  That's super creepy and I totally agree on the whole inappropriate part of it.

I wound up working in the district that I went to, and it was difficult enough to call my former teachers by their first names.  It took me awhile to get used to it.  I can't imagine crossing the line of professionalism, though, and dating a student.  Ick.

I would maaaaaybe be okay with hanging out if she had lied and said that nothing happened until after he got divorced, but it's still creepy either way. (and not the age thing, the inappropriate thing)

MCC1010

I think it is odd and I would not feel comfortable hanging out with them. All I could focus on would be that he is a sex offender. Sex with a minor = sex offender.