Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Let's Discuss: Babywise

Let's take a break from car seats, eating, & delelopments & discuss a controversial thing: The Babywise Method

Briefly, the basic principles covered include:
1. Feeding approximately every three hours.
2. Trying to keep the baby awake during feedings and a little afterwards.
3. Putting the baby down to sleep before the next feeding
4. Keeping the baby on a eat-wake-sleep routine to help their hunger stabilize for faster nighttime sleeping.
5. Trying not to allow babies to become overly dependent for sleep on any one prop such as: rocking, swings, slings, pacifiers, car rides, and so on.
6. Generally helping the baby's needs to fit into your or the family's routine, rather than arranging your or the family's needs completely around the baby's routine (or having none at all).

A friend of mine has done this method with her daughter & from what I understand from her, it is basically the baby working on your schedule not babies schedule. You determine the eat, sleep schedule & baby conforms to that. She started it the day her baby was born (she gave birth at home). She would breastfeed every 3 hours during the day, but would not at night. The baby would CIO & eventually just stopped & slept through the night. With that being said, my friend went through 6 pediatricians  before her baby turned 1 because they had all told her that her child is malnourished. (she is now almost 2). She talked a lot in the beginning how you shouldn't let the baby manipulate you- Um, side note, newborn babies don't know how to manipulate.

WDYT?!

Re: Let's Discuss: Babywise

  • There is a fine line between letting the baby run the show or get spoiled and not feeding them.
    I want my dd happy and well I am here to do that. When they are little they don't know they are getting spoiled....
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  • yeah she's crazy. Every three hours is not often enough in the beginning.

    I know Babywise doesn't have to be that extreme, but it does lend itself to that. And I have read most of it (I put it down once I realized there was no way I would follow it).

     

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  • My sister used babywise for all her kids...the latest, an 8 week old and she swears by it.  That being said, she does do night feedings and pretty much just follows the eat, play, sleep aspect of it.  Her 8 week old sleeps through the night.

    I did not use babywise because of the linking to failure to thrive.  My baby only sporadically sleeps through the night at almost 10 months but he's beyond healthy and happy...he's started walking 3 weeks ago, can say more than 3 words and is the happiest baby I know...so I'll stick to this, it works for us, babywise seems to work for my sister.  As long as her baby is fed and not undernourished, I'll keep my mouth shut, lol.

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  • I remember someone at moms group who did the exact same thing. One day she started telling this to another new mom who was struggling and the group leader actually cut her off and told her it really wasn't recommended. If it was his sleep time during group she would put him in the car seat and rock it until he cried himself to sleep, I hated it! She also repeatedly said how she would put him to bed and sleep with earplugs in and how great it was because she didn't wake up and her husband would let the baby cry. Definitely NMS when taken to that extreme. DD nursed every 90 mins the first couple months and every 2 hours until she was 6 or 7 months old and gained right on the curve. If I had made her wait 3 hours there's no way she would have grown as well.
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  • I didn't set out to "follow" any particular method of parenting, but I really don't like the babywise method. Maybe it works for some people, but I didn't even consider it for our family.

    I don't understand why people have this idea that a baby is supposed to conform to an adult's lifestyle/schedule. I'm not being a mommy martyr, but a "messed up" schedule is just part of being a new parent, imo. When baby gets older, their schedule will more closely resemble your adult "norm". I feel like we should all have some patience with our newborns, and worry about meeting their needs. It's not spoiling them. It's letting them know that you are there for them and that you'll meet their needs. (NEEDS. Not wants. Newborns can't be manipulative).

    1. We fed on demand. For E that was every 3-4 hours, but I didn't force her into a pattern. She did that on her own.

    2. I tried to keep her awake during feedings, but if she fell asleep after, that was fine by me.

    3. She usually slept in between feedings (while she was a newborn, but not anymore).

    4. Evelyn's routine was eat - sleep - play (repeat). There was no freaking way I was going to be able to keep her awake after she ate. She STTN almost immediately (seriously).

    5. She had a swing that she did a lot of sleeping in (newborn - 4 months) and we still rock her at night. It doesn't bother us, so I don't know why we'd stop. She can go asleep on her own, but we all enjoy the cuddle time before bed.

    6. We adjusted to the baby's routine, and when she got a bit older we adjusted her routine a bit to make it fit our lifestyle more. It's give-and-take in our family. We all had to get used to a new "normal".



    Evelyn (3.24.10), Graham (5.30.13) & Miles (8.28.16)
  • That said, I don't have a problem with this method in theory. I think when it is taken to the extreme, that is what bothers me. Like some of the examples pp mentioned.

    Evelyn (3.24.10), Graham (5.30.13) & Miles (8.28.16)
  • I never read the book, but I loosely followed a method like that.  I fed him during the night until he went 7-8 hours on his own several times though.  I think not feeding to sleep, and putting him down awake helped him develop good sleep habits - but withholding food from a newborn is ridiculous and anyone who would do that is clearly a moron.
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  • My MIL thought she was being helpful and gave me a copy of the book she bought at a yard sale (she wasn't familiar with the concept).  I read a little bit of it right after I had DS1 and decided that it was NMS.  Both of my sons developed schedules pretty much on their own as babies; I let them lead me rather than vice versa which I feel is important during infancy.  As they get older, you as the parent dictate the schedule which makes sense to me since you don't want your toddler running the show.
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  • imageDreamsicle23:
    - but withholding food from a newborn is ridiculous and anyone who would do that is clearly a moron.

     this.

    my cousin swears by it. i read it and decided it wasn't for me but i think as long as you have some common sense and follow your instincts that there is nothing wrong with it.

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  • Babywise is good in theory, but I am a firm believer that you cannot force your own schedule onto a newborn baby. Lengths of time between eating and sleeping vary greatly from baby to baby.

    I tried to follow Babywise with my son when he was an infant.  He was colicky, very fussy and a terrible napper.  No matter how hard I tried, he just did not adapt to Babywise.  I remember mentioning it to my pedi and asking what method he suggested and he seriously eye-rolled me and told me that "every method would work if babies knew how to read." I gave up  after that and adapted a schedule that worked with my son's own temperment.

    With my DD I didn't even attempt Babywise, yet she fell into a typical sleep, eat, play pattern all on her own. She was just a very adaptable, easy baby.

  • To be fair, Babywise does not advocate letting a newborn go without eating at night. That was that mom's own interpretation, unfortunately.

    I know A LOT of moms that used Babywise and it worked like a dream. All their kids are happy, healthy, and well-behaved, so it leads me to believe that there is something to it. I can get on board with not letting your baby (not newborn) run the show, and Elise naturally fell into an every 3 hour eating plan. Most of the rest of the book I don't agree with.

    Anyway, I think as is true with most parenting books, you can take pieces of it and use your own best judgment. Do I agree with all of it? No, but I think there are some good ideas. And yeah, the author is kind of sketchy, but regardless of his background, some of the ideas seem to work.

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  • KGskyKGsky member
    That's some scary s--t.  As frustrated as I am with DS's sleep issues (as well as his feeding issues), I could not subscribe to this theory.  
  • I personally am not a fan.

     

    I guess I kind of see it as selfish if done from day one. Yes, the first few months suck, but why the push to have a baby on a schedule from day one? Relax. Go with the flow. Babies were not born ready for a schedule.

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