EBF & EP Moms - Are you just....tired??

OhSewCrafty

I'm almost 5 months into my goal to breastfeed Charlie for a year and I am just damn tired. I'm tired of pumping, cleaning parts, making sure I have a place to pump, being the only one who can feed him at night, sore nipples....all that. Plus, he's been sick for almost 7 weeks with a cold, so its obviously not doing much on the immune system front. lol I'm not ready to give up, I'm just not feeling as driven as I was.

Is anyone else losing their motivation?

PGASTL

I started to feel this way earlier this week when it seemed like LO was still really hungry at nighttime and fussy at the breast. I just wanted to rip out a darn bottle of formula!

And I am really lucky too - LO is only at the sitter's 2-5 hours during the work day, so I don't have to pump that much. (I HATE pumping with a burning passion).

But we stuck with it. I've come this far, right?!

I have a feeling with #2 I'll be a little easier on myself.

abovewedding

Im exhausted too.

While I do love the snuggle time, its just hard that I'm the only person who can feed him and I'm starting to get confused about nursing him to sleep - my instinct says to do it but books say not to...there's just so much info all over the place. 

I'm also tired of eating a ton and still being hungry and drained all the time. Not sleeping is one thing but having all your nutrients sucked out of you is tiring too!

 

 

Cymarkus

I'm still going strong but I feel like any day I might start feeling like that and want to give it up. My motivators: cleaning pump parts is a PITA but cleaning more bottles sucks just as bad, formula is so dang expensive, if I've lasted this long, I can go one more month, and I like the idea of not having to prepare anything, ya just whip out the bewb. It is a lot of work but being a mom in general is a lot of work. As far as pumping while at work, I did not think thT would last but I think I'll feel really guilty if I stop now.(( 1ht from phone))

Paul&Mel

I am losing motivation too. I hate that I am always hungry and I can never get full. It is hard knowing that I'm the only one that can feed him. I hate pumping, and I absolutely HATE cleaning pump parts, more than anything else.

I have a bachelorette party (going on over a whole weekend) that I am really excited for, but also dreading. I will have to take breaks to either nurse or pump throughout the entire weekend. It is my life now, I guess. Part of me just wants to have my body back though.

I've come this far, so I will keep going. I like breastfeeding Kai. I know it's the best for him. My original goal was a year. I am hoping to get to that year mark. Good luck to all of you! It isn't easy, but it is worth it.

OhSewCrafty

abovewedding:

Im exhausted too.

While I do love the snuggle time, its just hard that I'm the only person who can feed him and I'm starting to get confused about nursing him to sleep - my instinct says to do it but books say not to...there's just so much info all over the place. 

I'm also tired of eating a ton and still being hungry and drained all the time. Not sleeping is one thing but having all your nutrients sucked out of you is tiring too!

 

I've heard lots of conflicting information about this too. When it comes down to it, I'm okay with it. It works, he likes it, and naps without it so its not the end of the world. 

OhSewCrafty

CRFJAG:

btw- OSC, I love love love your siggy pic of Charlie! He's so cute!!!

Thanks! I love your St. Pat's photo shoot with Sadie - that smile is beyond adorable!

OhSewCrafty

Cymarkus:

I'm still going strong but I feel like any day I might start feeling like that and want to give it up. My motivators: cleaning pump parts is a PITA but cleaning more bottles sucks just as bad, formula is so dang expensive, if I've lasted this long, I can go one more month, and I like the idea of not having to prepare anything, ya just whip out the bewb. It is a lot of work but being a mom in general is a lot of work. As far as pumping while at work, I did not think thT would last but I think I'll feel really guilty if I stop now.(( 1ht from phone))

See, I'm worried that's my only motivation at this point. I dropped like $300 on a pump and made it this far. Am I only BF because I'm stubborn!? Haha

mamaholmes2010

I feel just drained.  I feel like its another thing to remember every time I leave the house.  I feel like its an excuse for DH to stay in bed and not help with LO when he is up 20 times a night; even though I too have to go to work in the morning.  I love the bond it has created between Oliver and I and I definitely am not planning on stopping anytime soon, I just wish people were less wierded out about it and more accepting/helpful.

OhSewCrafty

Paul&Mel:

I am losing motivation too. I hate that I am always hungry and I can never get full. It is hard knowing that I'm the only one that can feed him. I hate pumping, and I absolutely HATE cleaning pump parts, more than anything else.

I have a bachelorette party (going on over a whole weekend) that I am really excited for, but also dreading. I will have to take breaks to either nurse or pump throughout the entire weekend. It is my life now, I guess. Part of me just wants to have my body back though.

I've come this far, so I will keep going. I like breastfeeding Kai. I know it's the best for him. My original goal was a year. I am hoping to get to that year mark. Good luck to all of you! It isn't easy, but it is worth it.

I actually had to skip a bachelorette party this weekend because it just wouldn't have worked. The plan was to hop around DC getting facials and massages and shopping. There would have been no where for me to pump and the bride is being well, picky, and it wouldn't have gone over well. 

The wedding is next weekend and the bride has planned something like 4 hours of pictures all over the city and when I told her I had to stop and pump I got quite an eye roll. Gah!!

OhSewCrafty

mamaholmes2010:

I feel just drained.  I feel like its another thing to remember every time I leave the house.  I feel like its an excuse for DH to stay in bed and not help with LO when he is up 20 times a night; even though I too have to go to work in the morning.  I love the bond it has created between Oliver and I and I definitely am not planning on stopping anytime soon, I just wish people were less wierded out about it and more accepting/helpful.

AMEN to that!

Paul&Mel

Will bf get easier once they start eating solids? Since they will be eating things throughout the day, do they still bf as often? I'm hoping it will get easier at that point...

lindseybell3

I love BF-ing and T. has always been a really good eater but I'm definitely tired.  He just isn't sleeping as well as I'd like at night.  THe most I ever get is a 4 hour stretch.  It's making me hope that when he starts solids he will sleep longer and I wonder if the no-sleep thing is a BF-ing thing. Are you EBF-ers getting long stretches of sleep out of your LO? After seeing yesterday's poll where everyone was talking about their baby sleeping 6-10 hr stretches, I got really discouraged.

ChristineRich06

I promised myself that I would relax about it this time around. Easier said than done I think. I did BF DD1 until she was 19 months but it wasn't all puppies and rainbows. This time around I set a goal of 6 months, we will see how it goes. LO will not take a bottle, she sucks for maybe 30 seconds and then screams like it's poison. I tell DH that I feel drained in every sense of the word, mentally, emotionally & plysically. He kisses my forhead & tells me I'm a good mommy, Myla smiles & life goes on.

 

Edit : Oh yeah it doesn't help that she seems to throw up everything I feed her, and then 5 minutes later cries because she's hungry...I can't wait for that horrid cycle to end.

Paul&Mel

OhSewCrafty:

Paul&Mel:

I am losing motivation too. I hate that I am always hungry and I can never get full. It is hard knowing that I'm the only one that can feed him. I hate pumping, and I absolutely HATE cleaning pump parts, more than anything else.

I have a bachelorette party (going on over a whole weekend) that I am really excited for, but also dreading. I will have to take breaks to either nurse or pump throughout the entire weekend. It is my life now, I guess. Part of me just wants to have my body back though.

I've come this far, so I will keep going. I like breastfeeding Kai. I know it's the best for him. My original goal was a year. I am hoping to get to that year mark. Good luck to all of you! It isn't easy, but it is worth it.

I actually had to skip a bachelorette party this weekend because it just wouldn't have worked. The plan was to hop around DC getting facials and massages and shopping. There would have been no where for me to pump and the bride is being well, picky, and it wouldn't have gone over well. 

The wedding is next weekend and the bride has planned something like 4 hours of pictures all over the city and when I told her I had to stop and pump I got quite an eye roll. Gah!!

That sucks! Don't you wish you could say, "I'm sorry I need to feed (or pump for) my child to keep him ALIVE!" Maybe she wouldn't roll her eyes then. I hope the wedding goes well, and you find some time to pump.

The bachelorette party I'm going to is in June, but they want to hop all around the Twin Cities for activities, and drink two nights in a row. I just can't do that anymore! I sound so old

kat81

I was feeling this way because I had thrush for 2 months (yes, 2 months!!) but now that's finally gone. Also, DS is STTN as of this week, so BF doesn't feel like a burden. Pumping is uncomfortable, I'm not going to lie. And cleaning the stuff is annoying, but I have an extra set so usually I don't have to clean it, and can wash both in the dishwasher overnight.

But I really like being REQUIRED to spend time with DS and having to hold him. I like how it gets me out of household chores sometimes ("DH, can you make/finish dinner? Can you take out the trash? Can you grab the laundry? I'm nursing DS!") OTOH I think DH sort of gets to play with DS more because it's kind of the ONLY way he can spend time with him. I do sometimes get jealous that my relationship with DS is business and DH's is play. But DS is a much more efficient eater than he used to be, so it's ok. I couldn't have done a year of his 1-month-old self for sure, but the way he is now is doable. 

If you're thinking about quitting, at least get to when he's eating solids. It might be easier than you think because the solids will replace some feedings. That being said, you shouldn't feel guilty quitting. The breastfeeding has diminishing returns with time. Most of the benefits are towards the beginning. At 5 months you're already past most of the benefits. You could stop. 

OhSewCrafty

Paul&Mel:

Will bf get easier once they start eating solids? Since they will be eating things throughout the day, do they still bf as often? I'm hoping it will get easier at that point...

That's what I hear. We'll see.

OhSewCrafty

lindseybell3:

I love BF-ing and T. has always been a really good eater but I'm definitely tired.  He just isn't sleeping as well as I'd like at night.  THe most I ever get is a 4 hour stretch.  It's making me hope that when he starts solids he will sleep longer and I wonder if the no-sleep thing is a BF-ing thing. Are you EBF-ers getting long stretches of sleep out of your LO? After seeing yesterday's poll where everyone was talking about their baby sleeping 6-10 hr stretches, I got really discouraged.

C *usually* gets one long stretch of about 5-6 hours and then a shorter stretch of about 3 hours. I say usually because for the past week he's been only getting 3 hours at a time and waking up around 1am and then again at 4am. Its killin' me.

OhSewCrafty

kat81:

I was feeling this way because I had thrush for 2 months (yes, 2 months!!) but now that's finally gone. Also, DS is STTN as of this week, so BF doesn't feel like a burden. Pumping is uncomfortable, I'm not going to lie. And cleaning the stuff is annoying, but I have an extra set so usually I don't have to clean it, and can wash both in the dishwasher overnight.

But I really like being REQUIRED to spend time with DS and having to hold him. I like how it gets me out of household chores sometimes ("DH, can you make/finish dinner? Can you take out the trash? Can you grab the laundry? I'm nursing DS!") OTOH I think DH sort of gets to play with DS more because it's kind of the ONLY way he can spend time with him. I do sometimes get jealous that my relationship with DS is business and DH's is play. But DS is a much more efficient eater than he used to be, so it's ok. I couldn't have done a year of his 1-month-old self for sure, but the way he is now is doable. 

If you're thinking about quitting, at least get to when he's eating solids. It might be easier than you think because the solids will replace some feedings. That being said, you shouldn't feel guilty quitting. The breastfeeding has diminishing returns with time. Most of the benefits are towards the beginning. At 5 months you're already past most of the benefits. You could stop. 

Oh my goodness...two months?! I am so sorry. But I'm glad LO is STTN!! That would be my saving grace, but alas - I get at least one wake up. Oh well. :-)

At this point, I'm not considering quitting. More so just whining for a bit. I know it'll get easier in coming months. I'm just tired and want to stomp my feet. lol

Cymarkus

OhSewCrafty:

Cymarkus:

I'm still going strong but I feel like any day I might start feeling like that and want to give it up. My motivators: cleaning pump parts is a PITA but cleaning more bottles sucks just as bad, formula is so dang expensive, if I've lasted this long, I can go one more month, and I like the idea of not having to prepare anything, ya just whip out the bewb. It is a lot of work but being a mom in general is a lot of work. As far as pumping while at work, I did not think thT would last but I think I'll feel really guilty if I stop now.(( 1ht from phone))

See, I'm worried that's my only motivation at this point. I dropped like $300 on a pump and made it this far. Am I only BF because I'm stubborn!? Haha

Yep, exactly! I'm just stubborn and I want to prove to all the people that thought it would never last. Especially after going back to work. There's a lot of SAHM's in my family that just don't get it.

jessrenee11

It honestly doesn't bug me anymore, it's just part of our daily routine now. Maybe it is just because I EP I don't know any better, but pumping is so much eaiser for me and less stressful. I like that anyone can feed her because she is then building bonds with each person and nip wasn't really an option for me because I'm pretty modest so I like not being confined to a room to feed her. I just invested in 3 set of pump parts and a million bottles( I'll pump into anything that will attach!) so I'm not washing stuff all the time. BM is really important to me because I really do feel like in our case that is what has helped K gain as much as she has. 

OhSewCrafty

Cymarkus:

OhSewCrafty:

Cymarkus:

I'm still going strong but I feel like any day I might start feeling like that and want to give it up. My motivators: cleaning pump parts is a PITA but cleaning more bottles sucks just as bad, formula is so dang expensive, if I've lasted this long, I can go one more month, and I like the idea of not having to prepare anything, ya just whip out the bewb. It is a lot of work but being a mom in general is a lot of work. As far as pumping while at work, I did not think thT would last but I think I'll feel really guilty if I stop now.(( 1ht from phone))

See, I'm worried that's my only motivation at this point. I dropped like $300 on a pump and made it this far. Am I only BF because I'm stubborn!? Haha

Yep, exactly! I'm just stubborn and I want to prove to all the people that thought it would never last. Especially after going back to work. There's a lot of SAHM's in my family that just don't get it.

I know! Its strange - when I say I BF Charlie, people assume I'm a SAHM. 

lulu3061

Thankfully things have gone pretty well after we cleared up a nasty case of thrush around 4 weeks.  But, I am exhausted.  A still needs to eat every 2-3 hours at night and since he's EBF every night waking since he was born has been on me.  I feel like I could sleep for days at this point.

 

OhSewCrafty

lulu3061:

Thankfully things have gone pretty well after we cleared up a nasty case of thrush around 4 weeks.  But, I am exhausted.  A still needs to eat every 2-3 hours at night and since he's EBF every night waking since he was born has been on me.  I feel like I could sleep for days at this point.

 

Yes, yes, and more yes.

bosha711

abovewedding:

Im exhausted too.

While I do love the snuggle time, its just hard that I'm the only person who can feed him and I'm starting to get confused about nursing him to sleep - my instinct says to do it but books say not to...there's just so much info all over the place. 

I'm also tired of eating a ton and still being hungry and drained all the time. Not sleeping is one thing but having all your nutrients sucked out of you is tiring too!

 

 

 

Is this why I still have my PG appetite? I guess I never put 2 & 2 together on that one! Glad to know there's a reason I'm still eating like a little piggy.

EMOmamma

::WAVES HAND WILDLY IN THE AIR:::

I'm so done.  I EP and while I now have a great routine and my "system" down I'm just tired of it.  I hate dragging my pump everywhere, I've had clogged ducts twice in as many weeks, and my nips are really sensitive again (I'm thinking AF may be on the way). 

When it was really hard at the beginning I made myself go to 1 month, then it got easier and I made my goal 3 months/back to work, then when I started back a couple weeks ago I decided that I could make it to 6 months. 

I'm pumping 6 times a day now and I think starting next week (J will be 4 months)  I'm going to cut one out.  Then at 5months I'm going to cut another and so on.

EVM1216

I'm so glad to read that I'm not alone in feeling like this.  I love BF but it's just exhausting, and I especially feel guilty about it at work, since it is like I'm always running off to pump.  But I'm stubborn and not stopping.

I think that DD would have STTN last night, but when I woke up at 4 and she was still asleep I worked myself into a such a paranoia that I just broke down and got up to feed her because I couldn't relax and go back to sleep.  6 hours of straight sleep had me all worked up.  This is the first time that something like this has happened, I'm hoping it's a trend and I'll be able to relax and enjoy the possibility of 8 hours of sleep again.

missliz01

Some days are better than others. I'm a SAHM so I don't have to pump as often, but I swear she seems to need to eat during the day every 1 to 1.5 hours. It makes it hard to get much of anything else done. She's already gained a little over 6 lbs., so I guess I can understand the frequent feedings! Nights are usually a 5 hour stretch and then only 2 hours in-between at that point. I never really feel quite fully rested. What's really hard for me is always feeling hungry and having to scramble to make myself food and scarf it down. Most mornings I wake up feeling sick because I'm so hungry. I'm not trying to sound like a total complainer about it because I also like things about it like less preparation and the bonding we have, but it's still not easy!

chickaboo1974

I pump, wanted to BF but with them being in the NICU they learned a love for bottles. Now I am relieved, since I can get out and DH can feed them.  Anyway, My goal was always 6 months.  I have a HUGE freezer stash, so at the end of this month I will wean off the pump.  I am THRILLED!!  I have enough to feed them BM for atleast a month. So I will meet my goal of 6 months.

JulietL129

I think the thing that made it possible for me to continue was quitting pumping. Pumping was so frustrating for me and I hated how it made me feel. I know not everyone is lucky enough to be able not to. Last night I had a full blown panic attack after my Dr's appt because he was really pushing me to get the lump I found in my breast removed ASAP and I was *terrified* I wouldn't be able to continue bfing. Thankfully my surgeon disagrees and is willing to just keep a close eye on me and wait. Idk as much as it's a pita to use a shield, I really love bf'ing and it would really bother me if I couldn't go my goal of 1 year. 2 years is my 2nd goal, not sure if I'll be able to do that now or not because I don't think it's smart for me to wait that long for this surgery.

welshgirl

Definitely. Esp because Matilda's not gaining weight and they'r telling me to put her at hte breast ALL THE TIME. Napping. Eating. Snacking. Sleeping. I'm over it. I'll continue, but as soon as she takes a bottle, we're supplementing. 

OhSewCrafty

JulietL129:

I think the thing that made it possible for me to continue was quitting pumping. Pumping was so frustrating for me and I hated how it made me feel. I know not everyone is lucky enough to be able not to. Last night I had a full blown panic attack after my Dr's appt because he was really pushing me to get the lump I found in my breast removed ASAP and I was *terrified* I wouldn't be able to continue bfing. Thankfully my surgeon disagrees and is willing to just keep a close eye on me and wait. Idk as much as it's a pita to use a shield, I really love bf'ing and it would really bother me if I couldn't go my goal of 1 year. 2 years is my 2nd goal, not sure if I'll be able to do that now or not because I don't think it's smart for me to wait that long for this surgery.

What a scary situation. I'm so glad you got good news from the surgeon about 1) the severity of the situation and 2) being able to continue BFing!

When I was still on leave and didn't really have to pump, I liked BFing so much more too, so I totally understand where you're coming from. Pumping is just irritating, but a necessary evil.

OhSewCrafty

I guess my big (selfish) worry is that because of his adjusted age, C won't be ready for solids at 6 months and we'll be EBF for several weeks longer. Right now, he still has the pushing stuff out of his mouth reflex and wants nothing to do with a spoon. I really do like BFing, but I look forward to cutting back a little bit when he starts eating other things!

amberleeb

I am so tired.  I just keep telling myself my goal is 6 months and I am over 1/2 way there.  My daughter is a snacker, she eats for 5-10 min every hour.  My boobs get sore by the end of the day.  I have told my DH so many times that I just want to quit but he always says your a great mom and it's whats best for her.  I give you ladies who are working moms so much credit, I could never do that!

Cheekers2010

I haven't read the other responses because I have to run, but I continue to feel really motivated (even tho I HATE pumping).  I really love being the one to feed G and the closeness it gives us.  It's a real PITA sometimes but so worth it for me. 

I'm sorry it's been so rough for some of you!  It hasn't been hard for me since around 9 weeks so that's probably why I'm still feeling good about it.

**edited to complete thought

JulietL129

OhSewCrafty:

JulietL129:

I think the thing that made it possible for me to continue was quitting pumping. Pumping was so frustrating for me and I hated how it made me feel. I know not everyone is lucky enough to be able not to. Last night I had a full blown panic attack after my Dr's appt because he was really pushing me to get the lump I found in my breast removed ASAP and I was *terrified* I wouldn't be able to continue bfing. Thankfully my surgeon disagrees and is willing to just keep a close eye on me and wait. Idk as much as it's a pita to use a shield, I really love bf'ing and it would really bother me if I couldn't go my goal of 1 year. 2 years is my 2nd goal, not sure if I'll be able to do that now or not because I don't think it's smart for me to wait that long for this surgery.

What a scary situation. I'm so glad you got good news from the surgeon about 1) the severity of the situation and 2) being able to continue BFing!

When I was still on leave and didn't really have to pump, I liked BFing so much more too, so I totally understand where you're coming from. Pumping is just irritating, but a necessary evil.

Thanks the risk of it being cancer at 23 is practically nonexistent but my mom is adopted so we have no family history on her side and an aunt on my fathers side had breast cancer @ 32, which is considered young for the disease, so my dr's & I don't mess around. This will be the 2nd mass removed from that side, the first was when I was 17. My surgeon is about 5 months pregnant so she was very understanding of my position on not wanting to jeopardize bfing unless absolutely necessary I know what you're saying though, and I don't think what you're feeling is 'selfish'. Bfing & pumping is a huge commitment in more ways than 1. But don't worry, it won't go on forever

CFH79

YES!  I tried to explain to MH that even on nights that SHE sttn, I still have to get up and pump.  I haven't had a full night's sleep in 15 weeks. 

[Deleted User]

A few weeks ago, I had a total meltdown about it!  I EP since day 1 home from the hospital.  It is a soul suck.  I finally told DH that I was switching to just 2 sessions per day.  I felt bad because anytime we had given P formula, she threw it up nearly immediately after she ate it and every time I pumped I was basically ignoring her & I felt like shiit.  Talk about guilt!  But, I'd had enough.  Now I just pump in the morning (hopefully before she's up) & at night after DH gets home.  The weird thing - I still pump the same amount, so I can keep up with her.  For now. 

I didn't even think of the vitamin depletion though!  Makes sense.  I eat like a horse still, but I am still quite tired.  Oh well, right!  20+ more years & I will get some sleep.  maybe.

Rink08

I'm right there too. Ari's been wanting to comfort nurse now that his gums are bothering him and my nips are so sore. I made the mistake of stopping pumping a while ago because it was a hassle/it hurt (lame, I know) and now I only have a day and a half worth of milk in my freezer stash because we had to throw a bunch of it out. I started pumping again a few days ago and I went from being able to pump 8 oz at a time to pumping 3-4. My mom keeps offering to take the boys overnight (DS1 does sleepovers there about one every other month) and I can't let her because I don't have enough milk built up now. Needless to say, I'm frustrated. 

I still plan on extended breastfeeding (until around age 2)

utlawgirl

Nodding right along...

I am so drained. There are days when I'm just ready to quit, even though I started out 100% committed to EBF and fought through some serious issues with latch and oversupply in the early days. I am just tired of being the one responsible for feeding her, stressed about making sure I can pump enough, and really sick of serving as a human pacifier.

curlydoglover

I love BF but am getting really tired really quick of pumping.  I'm still working from home 2 days a week, so maybe that's part of it since I don't have a really established day-to-day routine.

Plus I'm getting tired of being constantly nervous about my supply.  The first week-ish back I was pumping more than enough for B's daycare needs but lately on my pumping days I'm falling 1-2 oz short.  Granted I make that up by pumping in the middle of the night - IF B sleeps all the way thru (generally he does but it's not a guarantee).  I'm eating oatmeal for breakfast every damn day, which is getting really old, and nursing B at every opportunity.  I suppose I can add in fenugreek but... *sigh*

My motivation at this point is that I love BF, I know it's the best for him, if I can make it to 6 months it SHOULD get easier when he starts solids, and I'm too damn cheap to buy formula. LOL