annoying comment from MIL/SIL

JakesBride07

Several times since they babies have arrived both MIL and SIL have commented that Addison is a fighter like her aunt or stronger like her aunt, the list goes on and on.

It annoys the crap out of me because uh hello I am their mother, and dear auntie has never had kids nor has she had any real health problems. If our little girl is tough like anyone she is tought like her parents who went thru hell and back not only to get pregnant but stay pregnant.

The icing on the cake was tonight when I called to update them and share the good news that Addison was on CPAP. I mentioned that her nurse wasn't sure she would tolerate it for long before she tires out but that I really hope Addison heard her because our baby girl loves to just prove people wrong. Her reply? She's just like her Aunt A, she's got a lot of A in her.

Really seriously??? And I am just a little annoyed that DH heard this (speaker phone) and didn't say a word, even knowing that it bothers me. I think that would have be the perfect time to interject with "Nah I think she is just like her mommy. Stubborn and hard headed."

Yes I am hormonal, but if you made it this far Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.

addison1060

I don't blame you at all for being annoyed. Unfortunately, I'm slightly confrontational when it come to situations like that and I would have said something. I would definitely say what's on your mind next time to hopefully put her in her place.

Good luck! 

PolarBerry

ummm, yeah, i'd be annoyed too!  that would've been the perfect opportunity for DH to interject and back you up!

caden

I would be annoyed too, but I think this is one of those things you just have to roll your eyes at and try to ignore. I've found family members in general love to find hereditary characteristics in babies, even when it makes no sense. If my babies do something 1 time, my family will interpret that action as indicative of his whole personality and future. For example, when my kids were like 2 months old my DS2 stared at things in this creepy intent way. My mom kept saying, "He's the thinker. [DS1] is the do-er." Really? They're 2 months old. It gets even more annoying when they do this in a negative way. DS1 is fidgety. So my family says, "Oh he's going to be a climber, just like so-and-so. You're going to have to take down all your bookshelves."

In short. It doesn't end. DH and I just make fun of all of them after they've gone. It helps make their annoying comments easier to handle since it's kind of a game to see how many comparisons we can predict.

krwys10

I have a similar situation in the fact that everyone talks about how the babies resemble DH, never me.  I don;t think they look like me either, but it bothers me to continually here that.  I finally asked DH to quit commenting about it around me bc it bothered me and now he talks about how DD has my nose and is beautiful like her mommy, etc.

I do think you should say something, even if you just say it sarcastically, it might get the point across!

As for DH, mine rarely comes back to his mother when I think he should and truly men do not think as quickly or as witty as we do (IMO).  So don't be to mad at him for not jumping in at that moment

JakesBride07

MrsLee04 - One of my close friends does just that whenever she catches their comments on fb. Unfortunately I dont think MIL sees the responses. She rarely does. But that dies make me feel a little better.

janjag

Yeah, I'd be very annoyed, esp with all you've been through, and continue to go through. 

On their side (though I take yours for sure!) this is kind of MILs way of bonding with the baby.

My DH has younger sisters who are twins, and I get this kind of thing all. the. time.  Vivi & Audrey are just like A & R.  NEVER have my inlaws said anything about them being like me... but they don't know me as well, of course.  My family is not like that at all - would never make continuous comments like that. 

leviandlandensmom

That's funny b/c my MIL constantly talks about how each of my kids looks or acts like either my DH or someone on that side. The only one she doesn't say looks like DH is my 23 month old and that's because he looks like me...poor kid She does constantly compare him to DH's brother at that age...it's annoying. The rest of my kids really do look just like my DH and each other though so I can't really take offense.

Hibiscus2007

I get annoyed at comments like that too, my SIL posted on FB under my dd first pic..."she looks just like her auntie" meaning her...it annoyed the crap out of me...Now there is no doubt in anyone's mind DD is a mini me and I get that all the time, she only said it that once though but I thought it was a weird comment to make on her first picture ever taken, instead of just saying she looks beautiful, she had to say she looked like her, maybe she was trying to be funny, who knows.  My IL's always make comments like that, I just say "really?!? I don't see it"  LOL, it usually ends it there.

google123

What's the deal with this 'aunt a'?  What has she gone through for them to always make this comparison?  Obviously there must be something there for them to always make this comment.  I'd be annoyed too, it's your baby and she gets her characteristics from you and your H.

scraw99

Definitely say something because I wish I had said something to my MIL about the comments she made for months and now I can't  stand her, which is very unhealthy for our relationship and my relationship with DH.  She'd say how much E looked like her daughter and repeatedly called her the  [husband's last name] baby while G is the [my family's side baby].  It was horrific.  She also didn't want to hold G for a long time, saying "E is more my size, I'm used to 8 and 9 pound babies".  

Good luck.