a shower for the THIRD BABY?!

Roxpup

My friend is on her third baby... she has a 5 year old, a 1 year old, and is 33 weeks pregnant.  They're all boys.  And her busband threw her a shower.  Nothing says "come give us shiit" like throwing yourself a shower.  Friggen lame.

bakerlm

Agreed.  Though it would be slightly less odd if this new baby were a girl...

I went to a shower for a lady's first baby with a new man (she has a few older children).  I thought that concept was weird too.  You don't get a 'bonus' shower because you switched partners.

robinsokj

I'm in the I don't care if you have a shower for a 2nd, 3rd, 82nd baby camp,

but, I am not ok with the parent to be throwing one for themselves.  That is so incredibly tacky.

 

AvidVertigo

Yikes....i don't even know what to say to this....

Gift grabby much?

AnnaBanana0327

robinsokj:

I'm in the I don't care if you have a shower for a 2nd, 3rd, 82nd baby camp,

but, I am not ok with the parent to be throwing one for themselves.  That is so incredibly tacky.

 

I agree with all of this. 

MCC1010

I don't see the shower being a big deal as much as they threw the party themselves. Did they register for gifts too?

Sept1799

Considering that I felt a bit weird at my bridal shower and NOT having one baby shower, I can honestly say TACKY.

Its just something that said give me a bunch of stuff that I dont want to buy.,

jilicious

I'm aaaaalmost in the camp of asking for no gifts for a first birthday party to be honest so this is pretty over the top for me

PrimReaper

I had two showers for my second DD.  It was DH's first LO so his family was super excited but mostly our friends and family love to get together for any occasion.  However, showers here for every baby are the norm, and the gifts are not extravagant; about 80% would be clothes and the rest, small toys. 

I imagine if/when we have a third, there will be a shower for that baby too.  However, DH and I will not be hosting it....I agree that that part's tacky.

MrsWindyCity

robinsokj:

I'm in the I don't care if you have a shower for a 2nd, 3rd, 82nd baby camp,

but, I am not ok with the parent to be throwing one for themselves.  That is so incredibly tacky.

 

I agree. If people want to throw you a shower, so be it. But to throw your own? No. 

sherina825

From being on TB I have learned that baby shower etiquette is very territorial.  While I wouldn't bat an eye at someone having a 75th baby shower or even throwing one for themselves, there are those out there that say no shower after the first or no one related to the mom can throw the shower. 

I got married, had a baby and built a house all within a year.  I had a wedding (received gifts), was thrown a baby shower (received gifts) and I was pestered for not having a house warming.  While I thought it was weird to ask for people to come see my house and buy me some more stuff for the third time this year, those around me didn't. 

Roxpup

robinsokj:

I'm in the I don't care if you have a shower for a 2nd, 3rd, 82nd baby camp,

but, I am not ok with the parent to be throwing one for themselves.  That is so incredibly tacky.

 

i don't mind the multiple shower situation, don't get me wrong, i didn't mean to imply that.  but if you do it yourself, you might as well send out an invitation saying "we want shiit for our kid that we don't want to buy ourselves. kthanksbai."

multiple showers is different to me, especially because its generally not like anyone ASKS for a shower (tacky, also), it's just given/thrown for them.  but not thrown YOURSELF.

emily0829

MrsWindyCity:

robinsokj:

I'm in the I don't care if you have a shower for a 2nd, 3rd, 82nd baby camp,

but, I am not ok with the parent to be throwing one for themselves.  That is so incredibly tacky.

 

I agree. If people want to throw you a shower, so be it. But to throw your own? No. 

to both of you.

ToBeClements

I don't care how many showers they have, but throwing themselves one? Not cool. We threw one for my SIL, her third baby, but DH's brothers first, so DH' parents first true grandbaby. I think that's fine, but I just couldn't see throwing yourself a shower.

WaterLiIy

Some people don't see a shower as a gift giving party, but more of a celebration for that baby. If you did it for your first baby, why shouldn't your next baby get the same treatment? I don't see this as tacky in the least. To each their own ms.judgy.

robinsokj

WaterLiIy:

Some people don't see a shower as a gift giving party, but more of a celebration for that baby. If you did it for your first baby, why shouldn't your next baby get the same treatment? I don't see this as tacky in the least. To each their own ms.judgy.

Now the obligatory explanation of how a shower is for "showering' the mother with gifts.  

WaterLiIy

I dunno, I think that in my mother's day a 'shower' was when a woman was supposed to be showered with gifts.

Nowadays, at least in my area, it's more about a celebration for the baby. Gifts aren't even really expected. But I suppose we should refer to it by a different name then if we're going to do that.

I see where you are all coming from, I just don't agree. 

emily0829

robinsokj:

WaterLiIy:

Some people don't see a shower as a gift giving party, but more of a celebration for that baby. If you did it for your first baby, why shouldn't your next baby get the same treatment? I don't see this as tacky in the least. To each their own ms.judgy.

Now the obligatory explanation of how a shower is for "showering' the mother with gifts.  

You were too late. See above.

MrsBalletStar05

Eh, I wouldn't throw my own shower - but if people didn't agree with it, they didn't have to go.  And the people who did go, I'm sure were happy to give them something/show up. 

robinsokj

MrsBalletStar05:

Eh, I wouldn't throw my own shower - but if people didn't agree with it, they didn't have to go.  And the people who did go, I'm sure were happy to give them something/show up. 

Or they felt obligated and hated every minute

Roxpup

WaterLiIy:

I dunno, I think that in my mother's day a 'shower' was when a woman was supposed to be showered with gifts.

Nowadays, at least in my area, it's more about a celebration for the baby. Gifts aren't even really expected. But I suppose we should refer to it by a different name then if we're going to do that.

I see where you are all coming from, I just don't agree. 

then take your ms judgy comment and shove it somewhere. anytime you call someone judgy, you're jugding them.  pot, meet kettle.

Summadaze

My SIL had a shower for her 4th.. But she had a girl. She didn't have one for her 3rd who was a boy like the first two, but I wanted her too.. Her boys were 6 years older than him and although she had all their old stuff.. 6 years and 2 kids wears stuff out! Obviously you can buy stuff for yourself, but IDK I also don't give a crap about more than one shower.. I had one for each kid (boy and girl) and will have another for my third.. I was thinking about doing a unisex shower with a diaper raffle instead of gifts though. But I now do cloth. I might still do it and just donate the diapers to a shelter or something.. I more like the idea of a party with friends a family than of getting gifts... 

Anywho I think it's beyond tacky to throw a shower for yourself where you're asking for gifts, but don't care how many people have..

MrsBalletStar05

robinsokj:

MrsBalletStar05:

Eh, I wouldn't throw my own shower - but if people didn't agree with it, they didn't have to go.  And the people who did go, I'm sure were happy to give them something/show up. 

Or they felt obligated and hated every minute

and that would be their decision to live with and I'd hope they'd keep their opinion to themselves since they put themselves in the situation. 

ali_bl-nov05

robinsokj:

I'm in the I don't care if you have a shower for a 2nd, 3rd, 82nd baby camp,

but, I am not ok with the parent to be throwing one for themselves.  That is so incredibly tacky.

This.

g8trkim

Tacky. Also, after having 2 little boys, would you really want more $h!t? The only time I think this is okay is if the baby comes way later, like you have a surprise baby 10 years later, and even then I'm not so sure. Also, if someone insists on throwing you one, but throwing one for yourself is not okay.

ashnoelle

didn't we beat this horse to death on the tri boards?

Jennicap

I'm all for celebrating each baby but if your going to throw it yourselves at least have the decency to do a meet the baby party AFTER the birth instead! lol

homebird

robinsokj:

I'm in the I don't care if you have a shower for a 2nd, 3rd, 82nd baby camp,

but, I am not ok with the parent to be throwing one for themselves.  That is so incredibly tacky.

This is how I feel.